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Hiya people

Today was long I'm not sure about your guys days hope they were good. My day wasn't bad just really really long so I didn't get all of the stuff for my Holloween costume thing. I'm being a Zombie Killjoy I came up with it after watching TBP music videos and DD videos. It's realitivley cheapish to so I guess that's good. And it means I can get new eyeliner because I left mine in my extra locker at school last week (we get 2 lockers because my grade is small and we need some room for all of our books) anyways there is this newish girl who took my extra locker and everything she thought she would like out of it. I lost a good pair of headphones, a book of songs I wrote, and the eyeliner. I kinda got mad and reported her (who wouldn't) when I saw her with the notebook listening to music with my headphones. I got the book and head phones back but she claimed she didn't have the eyeliner.

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Ieroween and Conventional Weapons

So Holloween is on Wednesday and Conventional Weapons first two come out on Monday. I still didn't order it cause my dad is finding our record player. (I didn't even know we had one) yeah and our internet won't let us on really because I have an addiction to Twitter, YouTube, and this website and the whole wifi things going on. Well I've decided that this year for hollowen I'm going to be a Killjoy black parade marcher. Yeah I'm very original so pretty much I'm going to be a zombi killjoy. I'm going to get my stuff today (hopefully). I already have my birthday list made and I shall tell you people because I think it is awesome and it really consist of 5 things. 1.the first and second set of Conventional Weapons. 2. Art stuff such as paint. 3. Band merchant from my fav bands such as a Revenge era hoodie, GreenDay shirt. 4. Contacts I dont like my glasses 5. Concerns tickets if possible. Yeah and that is my all I want for my birthday and stuff.

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Hi

I couldn't think of a title/: Ok so yesterday I was like on the point of a nervous breakdown alot happened and I don't want to talk about it I'm over it. Yeah this may sound weird but I've been writing alot today songs, stories all sorts of stuff. Thing is with some of them I can't come up with an ending. I didn't talk today at school much so my friends knew something was up and they cheered me up. In English we have to do a biography on someone. At first I chose MCR and she said what else have they done besides make misic and how can you prove they save lives. I kinda wanted to tell her they are the reason I'm happier person and they are a reason why I'm still here. I ne'er gave up hope to choose any member. She said no to ALL of them but Gerard. She only said yes about that because I stated all the good stuff he's done all he's overcome and told her he's like one of my heroes along with the rest of the band she said yeah.

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I'm a hyprocrit...

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website. Unfortunately due to serious legal issues we cannot allow posts of this nature on this website]

3. No self harm posts
If you are feeling like you may harm yourself please contact someone who can help.

Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or twloha.com/find-help. You can also contact The Trevor Project at thetrevorproject.org or by calling their Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

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Random thoughts...

Well as you all should know firsthand this is NOT SmashingCupcakes aka my older sister. This is her sister Jessie. Don't worry nothing bad has happened she's just drinking coffee right now and GAVE ME permission to use this for one blog thingy. Off to the point of random thoughts. These are what go through my mind. Where do the unicorns live? I mean really the DO exist so were are they? Why does some people make bad music I mean Hey I just met you... Were the heck is the inspiration in that. Why don't MCR come to Nebraska in the USA? Really last time they were here was in 2006 so I was like 5 (I'm 11 now so yeah 4). Why is math so boring? I mean I get it Meghan bought 400 watermelons. Basses are AWESOME they just are dudes. Mikey Way is AWESOME he just is ok he is. Why are hobbits feet hairy? I mean why can't they like shave them.?. How did Luke not know Darth Vader was his father? Ummm.... Did I mention MCR IS AWESOME.

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I can't do it.

So I've promised myself that I would help others through my music and just helping them in general. Well today U found out one of my other friends also hurts herself and I just didn't expect it at all. She's just so happy I'm NOT stereotyping because I know that it can happen to anyone but I just it's totally inexpected like it always is. Well anyways she told me why she does it today and I literally started crying I've realized how good I have life and other people honestly think my life is perfect even tough in reality it's not. I'm not saying I'm going to drop out of the band I'm in and nit help people I am I really am going to still do it. I always am going to help people in the same way. I've realized not to take stuff like having both of my parents around and a roof over my head and some friends. When alot of people don't. Ok so off subject I read a blog about boy Killjoys well I'm a chick but I know a few that don't have an account and their pretty cool.

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I feel good.

Ok so if you read one of my older blogs it talked about one of my friends hurting herself and I wasn't sure what to do. Well today she texted me saying she needed to talk to someone and I'm the only one that understands. So I texted her back and then she called me crying told me about all of the stuff going on and said she didn't know how to handle it anymore. Well me being me and able to write songs and stuff I wrote her a song and told her what I've been through suggested this band and other stuff. We talked for a few hours I literally just got off of the phone with her. I feel so much better now because at first when I saw what she did to herself I thought it was my fault. I felt like she felt she had to do that just to be friends with me. I knew there was other stuff going on also but that wasn't the first thing that popped into my head. I feel so much better. On the phone when we were saying bye she said that the song I wrote and me just talking to her saved her.

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Help

Okay so I noticed something that I absolutely hate about myself (Don't worry it's not what you think.) So I noticed that I can't put on eyeliner right the way that goes all the way around your eye. My friend did it for me once and it looked good but I cant figure out how to do it and she moved and lost her phone so that doesn't help me at all. If you are wondering what type of eyeliner I have it's not liquid but it's not in pencil form it has a little thing were you roll the eyeliner part up (very descriptive aren't I (:) Youtube wont help it just has some ways I don't want it done and then I thought of some awesome fanbase that always knows how to do stuff the amazing way so if you guys could I don't know help with like a comment of tips or send a link or something that would be awesome.

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Halloween (Ieroween) Costume Ideas

Okay so I know some people would read the title and go "why would a 13 year old dress up or whatever for Halloween." Well my dear friends (yes I count you guys as friends over the internet (: maybe...) My answer if of course free candy since I'm kinda short. Lets get to the point my sister and I both are going to be something MCR related. Our ideas are either I be Helena and her be and our friend be two of the dancers or Mikey (yeah she adores Mikey.) and Ray since she can get her hair almost perefectly like that (our friend) Another idea would be Fear and Regret from the Black Parade or just as some random Black Parade marchers. And since we might take my friend she's planning on being Mother War maybe. Or our last idea would be the three of us Killjoys. Then again we have another idea Jessie will be Mikey, Tosha as Ray, and their crazy idea as me as Gerard. We might bring another person to be Frank if we decide to to that.

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Insanity

Ok so as not m any of you know I don't think any of you people know this... Anyways I'll skip straight to the point, my best friend is in trouble. I'm not sure if I'm aloud to say what she's been doing (it's not hurting herself, it actually involves her whole family.) So With that going on my I don't know crazieness (sorry for the spelling error.) Life's been kinda upsetting. I HATE it when any of my friends are hurt or whatnot. But this is tearing me apart and do to the part were I found out another friend has been doing somethings that hurt her. She made me promise not to tell anyone and I'm not sure about it because if I tell then she knows it's me because I'm the only person she told and I don't want to hurt her but I don't want her to do that stuff. I also have a question: does any of you guys have a voice in your head that tells you to do stuff you shouldn't so you'll get hurt and at times you want to give into it?