smashingcupcakes's blog

So my last blog I talked about my life. Don't worry I'm fine. I just had a mix of emotions rising inside me and I was unsure. Ok so I'm perfectly fine now I have half of a song written already. I might post the lyrics later. Some of those things I wrote were lies. I'm sorry in some of my posts they were all lies. I'm so sorry I'm just used to having to lie to make friends or whatever. I lie so I'm exacted I know it was wrong I should just be myself. Yes I'm in a band, my best friend is my sister, I live in Nebraska, I'm 13, I have like 4 friends, school sucks, I love MCR,I have a cat, I have hurt myself like once or twice. What is a lie is that the boys asked me those things and became my friend. Yeah I have a friend like that but he never asked me that stuff. I didnt cry at lunch yesterday I cried after lunch in the bathroom so no one could see me. My parents are nice, my grandma does influence me. I am doing a report on Gerard for English.

So I'm going to tell you people a little bit out my crazy messed up life. Ok so I'm in the 8th grade I live in the middle of no were aka Nebraska. I have 3 or 4 friends my best friend is my little sister. My parents are nice at times then they become rude. I'm the oldest child in my family I have 2 little sisters one is 4 the other 11. I have a band but our bass played doesn't own a bass yet and she is my sister. Everyday at school I'm picked on for what I say, wear, listen to, and whatever. I regret my mistakes alot. I find almost every flaw in myself and use it against myself. I write songs to take out my feelings. I'm always told I'll never be worth anything at school. My grandmother is my sister and I's biggest influence. I love life no matter how stupid it gets. I love music with all of my heart. I want to be have my band help people. But I know our music will never be heard by anyone. I always smile when I'm falling apart because I don't want anyone to see me weak.

So I might go to the movies tomorrow with my sister and a friend. Anyways we like stuff like Jaws, Dawn of the Dead, mainly horror movies. But anyways we like movies so anyone know of a newer movie that's in and that is good? That would be awesome. PG 13 at the most because we might not get into an R rated movie without an adult but we migh so really any movie would work.

Ok so today was horrible. I mean yeah it's normal for me to be; called emo freak, shoved into lockers, hit, sometimes chocked by accident (my friend Taryn like piggy back rides but she's sometimes sees a spider.) I get a lot of cra and I ignore it. But somedays I just want to scream. So today this kid who NEVER talked to me ran up to me in the hallway and asked me if I hurt myself. I said no of corse I don't. I'm terrified of needles and I'm not a big fan of sharp things. He said prove if so I showed him my wrists which had a few cat scratches on them. Yeah I have a cat who becomes a ninja at times when I forget to feed him on time. So the cat scratches were tiny and not noticeable. You know what he said. He said I knew you were emo I just never said anything cause your weird. I of corse said I have a cat that scratched me. He said prove it. Luckily I took a video at the time which won't appear on YouTube. He saw it then said he was sorry and offered to sit by me at lunch.

I'm really ticked off. I know jumping right into the situation. Ok so I'm having some serious friend being taken away feelings. Ok so my best friend (besides my little sis.) well anyways my friend is the lead guitarist in the band I'm in. Everytime I try to talk to her this annoying 7th grader gets in the way. I'm not saying I hate the 7th grader it's just she tries to do everything better than I do and brags about it. So I'm the lead singer and frontgirl of the band. Well this particular girl found out I sing and me and my friend our in a band. Instead of asking to be in the band she kinda assumes she is in. And every song I write she try's to sing it better. Everything I draw she criticises. I just HATE it. After she found out I wore converse she bought converse. She tries to outdress me everyday. She flirts with me and my friend's friend that happens to be a guy. She even told him to quit our band. ): I just get so annoyed when people mess with my friends.

Ok so I've seen a lot of depressing posts today. I'm not sure if it's the weather or what. Anyways EVERYONE needs to know this. Gerard said "There is NOTHING worth hurting yourself over." He is completely true. No matter what happens that pushes you down you absolutely can NOT hurt yourself. I know it sounds hard at times. I know it seems like everything would be better off if you weren't there. But you can NEVER let someone push you down that far. Just keep your head up and block it out. Don't hurt them but don't let them get you down. I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT WHEN YOU GUYS ARE UPSET!!!! When you guys are upset it breaks my heart. I just get confused when people hurt themselves like that and blame it on myself at times if I know you personally.You guys must find another way to take your emotions out. You could draw, sing, scream(unless your in class people will think your crazy. Believe me I kinda know.) Find a way that doesn't hurt you.

"But I don't WANT to go!" Midnight Moon cried. Great just what I need. "I know but we have to otherwise the drakes will get us." I explained to her looking at the clock which read 2:30 am. Mom and dad would both be sleeping by now. "But Neon why do we have to go?" she begged crying. Dont cry, dont cry, Don't cry! My mind screamed. "Do you want to be an emotionless weirdo that has to kill good people for no reason." I eyed her meanfully. "But why can't we take mom and dad?" "Because the are already like dracs." I hissed.
We finished packing everything we thought we needed and left at 2:38. We were very badly prepared our only weapons were pocketknives. We walked down the street to the big barn with a dim light on. "Were here." I said knocking on the door. Suddenly the door burst open to show the one and only Show Ponny and Dr. Deathdefying. "Wow they exist." Midnight gasped. "Well of corse we exist." Dr.D smiled. We walked inside and Show turned the lights on.

So this is the killjoy story I'm writing. A little late but hey Killjoys never die. I should probably introduce the characters that will appear throughout the story. Don't worry it's not a fan fiction. So here are three killjoys that are letting me use them. I did not steal their ideas they gave me permission to use them. The first is: Phant-o- Dramatic she's 15. Her hair is shortish at the sides, with a small mohawk that's a miter of black and red. She is good at tracking, shooting, hand to hand combat, and she is very clever. She has a blue and black jacket. When she has her arms horizontally the right arm says colorful and the left arm says revenge in blue, black, and white letters. She had black skinny jeans with white stars and holes on the knees. She's rebellious and not afraid to stand up for what she believes in. She has a black bandana with colorful stars on it. She became a killjoy after she was kicked out of a BLI work place. She understands how BLI works.

Yes caps was appropriat for the title. Today is not only Halloween but it is also known as Ieroween. It is known for that because today it Frank Iero's birthday. Today in History since it's Wednesday we read the paper. Well I haven't normally seen the rest of the bands birthdays in the paper because I didn't get the paper on those days. So I wasn't really thinking about seeing his name since MCR isn't popular in the 'wonderful' state of Nebraska. So I flipped to the celebrity birthdays and guess who I found Frank's. I nearly had a heartattack. I know sounds fangirlly but I wasn't expecting to see his name only stuff like Willow Smith turns 12 today or some other crap. I also was having a slightlly bad day because I didn't listen to misic (MCR, Green Day, ext.) and I didn't have coffee and I forgot some of my homework at home.

Some of you probably thought of this already. But if you might follow my Twitter @meghan1130 I posted a few hashtags I might have came up w/. If you came up with this first I'm sorry. You guys know how MCR did #SingItForJapan well because of the hurricane I've been listening to that video alot. Then an idea came to me since we sang it for Japan now it's time to #SingItForNewJersey #SingItForNewyork in general just #SingItForTheEastCoast sorry if this was your idea. We need to show the guys we care about them I'm not from Japan but they helped Japan anyways and I know that Frank lives in Jersey because of Twitter. I'm not just worrying about the band I'm praying for everyone. So maybe we could all draw something make a video put everything together and send it to the guys. It will take alot of work but for many of us this band saved our lives or changed them. It may not work but it's worth trying. (: hope everyone is ok and still breathing.