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GODZILLA!!! GOJIRA!!! GOD OF MONSTERS AND KAIJINS AND GIANT BEASTS AND FUCK IT'S GODZILLA!!!!

I just watched it today and it's still freshed in my mind even after watching other people gave views on the movie. I remembered how I react towards the movie and towards the viewers sitting beside me (seriously, I don't know what's so funny.

Heyyyyyyyyy

I''ve been wanting to write a blog again, but my mind is too fucked up to write something from the heart.
So first thing first, life's is like riding on a Hell Coaster. It is not thrilling, it is suicidal. But not literally. In other words, you'll not get any fun out of it as it keeps on going and going and going, looping your head clockwise and anticlockwise, blurring your eyes with tears and fright, paralyze your muscles and bones.
But I'm still smiling. Yep. Still smiling.
Secondly, I want to apologize for my insanity in the past few blogs (except for one.

That title is a bit from a song by The Strokes: "What Ever Happened?" It is not much about lllllllloooooouuuggghhh.... but it is mostly about disappointment. And I am disappointed, but how can you disappointed at something without feeling so hate until disgust at the same time? And it is also about how you wish to forget all these feelings when you kept being reminded by the person that let you down, by the people that kept talking, by the songs, by the literatures, and by your own twisted emotions that play your mind again and again.
Oh I have tried.

oh yeah sorry right you don't hate me you just ignore for your own good

Because that's what you should when you met a lunatic, psychopathic, crazy, soulless, pathetic, insane guy like me. Hahaha.
Good for you. Hahaha. Good for you. Hahaha. Good of freaking you. Hahaha.
Thank you.
Smiling smiling smiling smiling laughing laughing laughing laughing.
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

really, i cant believe how much you guys hate me

but whatever, i guess that is what written in my DESTINY.

I know, i know. Keep smiling, keep laughing.
Hahahahahahahahahaha.

im smiling im smiling im smiling im smiling hihihihahahahhohohohuhuhu

Smiling
Im insane
Drunk with
Depression and hate
I don't care what you say
I'll keep smiling, smiling, smiling smiling, smiling

Like addicts
Im a mess
Love was my
Drug, now is my laugh
A joke I'll never take seriously anymore
So I smile and smile and I smile and smile

Like fuck you,
I kissed you, and I hugged you, and I gave you, and I made you,
Everything that love is worth,
But fuck you,
I hate you, I kill you, I rip you, I shred you, I burn you, and I eat you,
But love hurts,
Yet I keep smiling and laughing and smiling and laughing and smiling

I smile when I cry when I find another piece

Forbidden Love

This is technically about me....And probably others that experienced the same way before and still a nothing man. So yeah....middle fingers to falling in love, and falling from love....woofruckingboohoohoolahoopoop pooppppppppp. (Yeah, I'm being a brat. Love it or shove it.)

We're just friends, right?
That's how it always been.
In my eyes, I moved forward,
But yours burned the illusions in front me.

We're just siblings, right?
That's what you always see,
Trying to be your man in armor,
But I'm just the hearth when you need.

Because I'm just an angel,
I am just an angel to you,
I am just an

I am not going to give up on her

So, today, this evening

I talked to my girlfriend nicknamed Moonlight. I told her this:

"I want to tell you that you are mine to love, to care, to please, and to believe. You are mine and no one else's. I want to fight for you. And I will let the world know, all the men who tries to steal your heart from me, that you are mine. And I will prove to you and them that I am committed and serious in this relationship. This does not mean you have no freedom. I respect your needs and desires.

Hey

So I just watched a new trailer of My Chemical Romance's Greatest Hits that includesthe full-length "Fake Your Death" song, and.....

You may not notice but I am crying inside.

Keep strong and live on, beautifuls.

the fifth time of trying to write this blog

Ugh....fuck....this has been like the fifth time I tried to write this blog because I needed help. But everytime I wrote something, I kept having second thought and said, "You know what? Fuck it! I can handle this. It is not so bad. I will be fine. So I don't have to find help." And then, I kept having a third thought after like 30 minutes later and said, "mmm....no, I can't handle this. I really need help this time, wether I like it or not."
And this continues on and on until now. And fuck it, I'm going to say this! Right now!
I need a friend. A friend that's....ugh, I can't!

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