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(I had to repost this because a lot of blogs coming out and this one is supposedly important to be read)

Pseudonym Blue - Menacing Venom - Mortuoria - AllILove4MCR - some other Killjoys I can't seem to remember their names (sorry)

These beautiful Killjoys of the endangered generation...They're not my friends but I saw them each and every blogs they commented, and they are like...the trying hope of the young and newer Killjoys. I fully respect them for doing their best to help everyone in the family get back up again. They even tried to help me when I fell hard in the deep, black hole and I thanked them for cheering me up with beautiful words. I was also once working as the Angel of Hope--alone, of course. But after the worst presents turned to pasts, like The Minutemen, I gave up hero duties, turned insane, and tried to revive back the humanity in me. If it weren't for these Killjoys and my good, faraway friends, I wouldn't be alive today.

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Where Are All The Beautiful Saviours?/Beautiful Ones Deserved Meaningful Song

Pseudonym Blue - Menacing Venom - Mortuoria - AllILove4MCR - some other Killjoys I can't seem to remember their names (sorry)

These beautiful Killjoys of the endangered generation...They're not my friends but I saw them each and every blogs they commented, and they are like...the trying hope of the young and newer Killjoys. I fully respect them for doing their best to help everyone in the family get back up again. They even tried to help me when I fell hard in the deep, black hole and I thanked them for cheering me up with beautiful words. I was also once working as the Angel of Hope--alone, of course. But after the worst presents turned to pasts, like The Minutemen, I gave up hero duties, turned insane, and tried to revive back the humanity in me. If it weren't for these Killjoys and my good, faraway friends, I wouldn't be alive today.

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Ex Pair of Mental/In Love With A Thousand Love

Despite all the episodes I've been on, I still try to keep my head up and continue my solo band project, Ex Pair of Mental. It's gonna be a long run but I will try to keep the time short and finish everything before the middle of the year. As of you guys may know, I put out a lyric called "Another After Recent" last week (I think) on this site. The song will be a part of an EP concept album named "Heart To Dissect".
Here's another lyric of another song from the album called "In Love With A Thousand Lies". This song is a prequel to the "Another After Recent" song. It's about the lover of the man's life who is just so perfect and so real, until the man found out she was fake all along and never did exists in real life. This started his Greatest Depression.

Again, don't ever, ever try to steal my songs. Really, don't. I've already warned about this before, so I'm not going to say it again. Anyway, let me know what you think.

"In Love With A Thousand Lies"

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Can This January Get Any Fucking Worse?!!!

First, my breakup
Second, my annoying heartache and lovesick
Third, my terrible grades
Finally, my uncle just told me about my grandpa's sudden (I hope not too severe) illness.

What else could go wrong? NO!! Don't you dare make it worse, God!...What the heck am I saying? Sorry, God...

But really, why did terrible things happen to me lately? I never done anything wrong with our relationship. I never did. And then, my heartache and lovesick came because of that breakup. It annoys my friends. But I understand. Everyone's got something else in life to care the most. Despite my great effort and work in my projects, and I'm so confident that I could at least get a good pass on my final exams, I got terrible grades. So not fair, man. And now, adding all of that with my grandpa's sudden sickness.....I think God is against me. I THINK but I don't BELIEVE He is.

What a terrible January this is...

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Right/Wrong

My heart is just hurt so bad right now.
I see my friends here calling for help, calling for more than words.
Adding this, I feel like I can't do anything right for them anymore.

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Right/Wrong

My heart is just hurt so bad right now.
I see my friends here calling for help, calling for more than words.
Adding this, I feel like I can't do anything right for them anymore.
I feel so weak and depress and just freaking hurt and painful right now.
I always avoid myself from posting this kind of blog because I know it will be wrong.
But I can't take it anymore.
I have messaged everyone but no one seems to reply.
I wondered and worried while I was having my heart fix from another stupid drama.
So, to all my good friends who are in a terrible moment, I am so sorry I can't help you guys at this very bad time. I really, really want to help you guys but with this unfinished heart construction and your impossible demands, I just can't. I am just useless right now.
I am really sorry.

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Demons of Despair/Ex Pair of Mental/Another After Recent

Hey, guys. This world is so fucked up. Everyone, almost everyone is a fucking demon of despair. When you just recovered from heart illnesses, there's always someone...friend, family, relatives, strangers....who tries to break your heart to pieces again....purposely or not. There's always that someone, that demon of despair.

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Demons Of Despair/Ex Pair of Mental/Another After Recent

Hey, guys. This world is so fucked up. Everyone, almost everyone is a fucking demon of despair. When you just recovered from heart illnesses, there's always someone...friend, family, relatives, strangers....who tries to break your heart to pieces again....purposely or not. There's always that someone, that demon of despair.

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Recovering/Love You Guys

Hey there, my beautiful families and good friends. I am soon to be recovered from my greatest depression. I don't know about you guys but to me, a week of depression is pretty long. Seriously, I really can't do anything with all these negative emotions binding around me. It was the worst.
I cried a lot, I hurt myself--not that I mean cutting myself; I'd like to throw myself to the wall as hard as I can when I was that depressing, I couldn't talk without a depressing tone and voice, I couldn't enjoy eating, my stomach always felt full everytime I saw a meal served, and even I don't feel like playing my piano at all. That is how depressing I was.

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Greatest Depression/Sorry, Friends

(Note: This is not a suicidal post. I repeat, NOT a suicidal post. Thank you.)

To all my good friends, I'm sorry I haven't talk to you guys. I've been going through the most terrible depression lately and it really keeps me in a negative light, especially to you guys. This is how badly my heart is breaking right now. I don't have the feeling to talk with friends, and if I did I'd show the negative side of me. I'd be mean to anyone without a reason. I don't feel like caring about you guys. I feel so sick and I just want to be left alone for now.
And I really don't want to talk about it. To be honest, I really don't have the feeling to write this blog either. I feel so sick with hatred and sadness deep inside this broken heart that I feel like giving up.