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i was just wondering...

well, my album is coming together now and i have two new songs. i was wondering if you guys wanted to read them? they're called: one two many contusions for me and blood shed lips. they are pretty deep and may be interpreted for something they are not, but read them closely and you will see what they truly are, heart felt.


through the hysteria that is my life, i realized that i am broken, and there is nothing any one can do. or, that is what i belive anyway.
sorry. i just had to get that out.


i love frerard so much!! <3 im reading it right now and, WOW im so happy!!!! well... im not, but you get it. :D Frerard, sqqqquuuueeeeee!!!!!!


i have been geting bored in hospital recently so i brought in my tamagotchi, for old times sake and it makes me so happy and proud that something I RAISED from an egg (even in the virtual world) grew up and is happy with life!!!!! aww, they are so cute! :)

meep!!!!! o.O im sorry but i've come over all french!!!

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
C'est payé, balayé, oublié
Je me fous du passé
Avec mes souvenirs
J'ai allumé le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux
Balayés mes amours
Avec leurs trémolos
Balayés pour toujours
Je repars à zéro

Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien
Non, je ne regrette rien
Car ma vie
Car mes joies
Ça commence avec toi...


I wrote this song and you may find it a bit hard to understand at first but really, its not meaningless (as I have been told MANY TIMES) you just have to read it properly. Here we go then…


The cloak, swept behind
With a dagger, out of mind
And a tear rolls silently down
And hits, the cold dead ground

Smile, so sharp, it cuts across
The face, and makes bloody scars
As were perfect corners
That’s all now damaged

Eyes, like a porcelain doll.
From which tears silently fall,
Underneath the mask sewn on.

Shall we all go to the masquerade ball?

~We’ll dance together now,

we are young and we dont care!

this is the conversation that i had thrown at me by some 20year old when i went down for breakfast today with my MCR tee on and i was singing "oh,the uni-horn" (another thing i will have to explain in anothher blog) i think you can guess who is who (but if you cant im the one who says no alot)
"grow up, and eww, mcr are sooo emo and depressing!"
"what did you just say about MCR?"
"grow up"
"grow up"
"because, i said"
"because i SAID!"
"well, guess what?"
"if i wansent grown up enough would i know words and hand gestures like this?"
"like what?"
"*gives two

make it STOP!!!

my head is pounding and my heart is telling me to give up.
i don't know what to do!? make it stop, make it stop! i musnt give up, never give up.
i just want it to stop. and i will never give up.
sorry, just a bit of feeling there. im just crying a bit and i needed to tell someone. and i guess you guys understand.

o.0 hang on, i've come over all revenge-like...

you know what they do to guys like us in prison

this song describes how im feeling right now, i really take these songs literally!

in the middle of a gunfight
in the center of a restaurant
they say come with your arms raised high
well they're never gonna get me
like a bullet through a flock of doves
to wage this war against your faith in me
your life will never be the same
on your mother's eyes say a prayer
say a prayer

but i can't
and i don't know
how we're just two men as god had made us
well i can't
well i can

too much too late
or just not enough of this
pain in my heart for

*-* right here, right now, EVERYBODY, scrunch up your eyes!!!!!!

a bit random on my behalf, and some people may be like 'huh?' but trust me, im a doctor!! well... actualy im not, but humor me!
so, i was just sitting here doing what i do, y'no, looking at MCR things on google and i had a thought, "i want to see the world differently today" and so i scrunched up my eyes,went upside-down and looked around. it works, it really does! you can see things that you wouldent normaly see! it made me smile. so, right here, right now, or wherever you are, scrunch up your eyes and look at the world upside-down.
also, a while back i cut all my hair off, and it has finaly