Second chance animal's blog

Ok so I acccidentally cut the palm of my hand with a scissors. I put something on it but now my whole arm is numb.
I mean it wasn't a deep cut but it did bleed for a second. And I had writing on my hand at the time. I mean I'm flipping out. I looked it up and the only thing I can find in this topic is due to nerve damage which I know it isn't because it was a really shallow cut.
I told my mom and she's like indifferent. But I told her if it's still numb tommorrow she has to take me to the doctor. Which is bad because I hate doctors. And I have scars on my arms that she'll probably ask about.
But anyway my point is does anybody have any idea why my arm is numb?

~NightHawk (I have no clue what to do!)

You'd think I'd have learned by now. My parents told me if I raised the money to buy it I could buy a horse and they'd pay board.
HA! And I believed it! I fucking believed it!
Anyway now they're all "oh we can't afford it." "What if the barn shuts down?" "What if prices go up?"
NO MATTER WHAT I SAY THEY FIND ANOTHER EXCUSE! I'M FUCKIN SICK OF IT!
I can't even go near them now. I barricaded my door with chairs.
I'm sick of this! Every time I listen to someone or get my hopes up or turn my back someone's there with a knife to stab me in the back. I HATE THEM!
I hate the world! My life is a cruel joke!

~NightHawk (Fuck them all!)

I should have mentioned it all
I should have wrote you a song
Not healing well
All of these splintering ends
How dare you bring this up to me
It took me years and years to leave
I spent my time pretending
Fight, survive, repress and bury
Somewhere beneath these words I saved

Thank you, I owe you something
So I will be honest
And tell you just how you make me feel

I tried to say I'm sorry
You never heard it from me
Born in this place
I'm sick of feeling guilty
Read in me anything you want
Assume that I am still distraught
As long as we're re-living

Lie, forgive, move out and bury
Where were you when I killed myself
last year?

I'm making new memories
Without the horror
I'm begging you
Let this story end

Fight, survive, repress and bury
Where were you when I killed myself
last year?

~NightHawk("Where were you when I killed myself last year?" Awesome lyrics)

I love my life right now. And I have a lot of reasons.
1. Music
2. I get to dream about killing my brother (yeah I'm grim but you don't know him)
3.I get to rescue a horse as soon as I raise the money

~NightHawk

1. Height: 5'7 or 5'8

3. Shoe size: 11

4. Sexual Orientation: Straight. I think. I don't "like" anyone, guy or otherwise so...

5. Do you smoke? no way

6. Do you drink? Nooope

7. Do you take drugs? What and be like a Drac? Hell no.

8. What age do you get mistaken for? 15 or 16

9. Tattoos? No I beleive needles are evil so...

10. Piercings? On my ears but one closed up so yeah...

11. Best friend? Firefly and Black Widow

12. Relationship status? Do horses count?

13. Favorite movies: Vampires suck, Spirit (the horse movie. Cause I'm weird like that) Flicka

14. Someone you miss: Um my guinea pigs?

15. Most traumatic experience: Not sure.

16. A fact about your personality: Um I guess I'm a bitch

17. What I want to be when I get older: Equine vet!

~NightHawk

I can hear you. You
people. Laughing. Mocking
Name calling. You call

me a freak. To think
I used to wanna be like you?!
You call me a loser.

Have you looked in the
mirror bitch? You say
I'm weird. Well better weird

than mean and spiteful. You say
I'll never fit in. What makes you
think I wanna?! You say I'm crazy.

I'm different. If that means taking
your shit than fine. I AM a freak.
A loser. I'm crazy. And you know

what? I may not be popular or
normal. Well you think I give a shit?
I have more than you'll ever have!

Friends! A brain! Freedom! Originallity!
So yeah keep laughing. Laugh it up.
See if I care! Because I don't!

Yeah I'm everything you accuse me of.
You know you're just complementing me?
That I don't give a fuck what you and

your little minions think what you think of me?
And maybe you're getting just a little repetitive?
But whatevs. Keep talking. Maybe someday you'll realize...

I REALLY DONT CARE!

So I hate the sun, I cannot stand churches, and I love the taste of blood.
I mean (and this has never happened before!) I was like craving blood.
So either I'm messed up or I'm part vamp. Probably both.

~NightHawk (Need to go find blood now)

I'm on school vacation this week so basically all I'm doing is listenong to youtube, blaring MCR and writing stories.
SOOOOO bored!

~NightHawk

So my mom says I can buy a horse if I raise the money and there's this horse I lease. But I'm not sure if I should buy him.

I love Gilly but there's nothing great about him.
He doesn't love me. He only cares about food and he's $5,000

I'm also thinking about a rescue horse but I don't know if I should.
I likely won't get to test ride that horse and I'll know nothing or almost nothing about it. But on the other hand it would cost less and could be way sweeter than Gilly.
But I DO love Gilly and then there's the whole thing of if I don't buy him I might regret it.

~NightHawk (Please give me advice!?)

REAL MCR FANS ♥♥♥♥
1) REAL MCR FANS KNOW MORE SONGS THAN WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE ♪♪
2) REAL MCR FANS KNOW GERARD WAY'S BROTHER'S NAME
3) REAL MCR FANS SHOUT "YES" WHEN ONE OF THEIR SONGS COME ON
4) REAL MCR FANS PUNCH THEIR COUSIN/BROTHERS/SISTERS/PARENT S/AND FRIENDS FOR DISSING GERARD'S HAIR
5) REAL MCR FANS KNOW THE NAMES OF EVERYONE IN THE BAND AND WHAT THEY DO
6) REAL MCR FANS SHOP FOR HOURS JUST TO FIND A JACKET LIKE THE BAND'S HAVE TO A MCR CONCERT
7) REAL MCR FANS HAVE THIS ON THEIR PROFILE!!!!♥♥♥♥

We've fired the bullets, and felt the revenge.
We are lacking the romance.
We've faced the bullies, and we gave 'em hell,
Then hung 'em high.
We've marched down Cemetery Drive
& we are now prepared to march in The Black Parade.
No one loves us, so we don't love you,
and these are our Famous Last Words.
Every word Gerard sings,
Every guitar solo Ray has put his heart into,
Every note Mikey hits,
Every beat Bob plays,