SaveYourself1219's blog

Well, it's about my sister. She is very insecure and needy, and I love her. She is very nice when she feels like it but lately she never even notices how I feel. She always tells me to Skype her(she's in college) just to encourage her. Then when we have nothing to say to each other I ask why she called and she tells me just to get encouragement. I love her and i want to encourage her, but I have a life too. I hurt to.I need to be encouraged and talk about my life. It's always about her and her dreams and her goals and whenever I try to interject on my opinions or dreams she tells me I'm in high school and none of my dreams now matter cause they will change within the next 4 years.

Well I left a bad group of friends that treated me like crap this year.It's been a month and I hadn't talked to them at all. Well, PE rolled around today and they were the only people I knew in my class, so i went up to them hoping to have a civil conversation for 5 min and it didn't make me feel so great. I just remembered why I left. All they talked about was how much I complained about my weight last year. Saying I quote said "Am I skinny yet?" every day. 1: I never said anything like that. 2: i only really complained about my weight because they always were obsessing about their weights. 3:even if i did complain about my weight(which i didn't keep in mind) you shouldn't spend a whole 10 minutes talking about how insecure someone was. yeah that just put me in a bad mood, but i stayed strong and told those bitches "Well, I'm not insecure anymore" to which they gave me an eye roll. In a way I feel good, but then I look around and i'm so alone.

I finally gave in and got an Instagram. I love all the awesome picks of my favorite bands:) follow me at ambergirl1219 and I will totally follow you back:)
Goodnight fellow killjoys:)

Here's some of my paintings hope you like them:)

i got a twitter so I could follow all my favorite bands, but now I want to follow all my lovely killjoys:) Send me your username or you can follow me at ambergirl@amberburgh and I'll follow you. Oh and side note high school suck, that is all:)

Well, after the 26th Na Na Na someone had the crazy idea to make it Na Na Na week! So every day do to youtube and watch Na Na Na so that it can get to 20 million views. Come one killjoys, let's make some noise!

Well i know that in my life i want to do something creative. I want to make, art, noise, messes, anything really. So I wanted to make music but i suck at the guitar and my singing voice isn't incredible. It isn't bad but it isn't amazing. So the way i see it music out. Well then i thought artist. I've always liked painting and drawing things, but then i look at the things I draw compared to others and really I'm nothing special. Sure i can draw comic book characters so what, I can't draw people or animals or anything.Then i thought writer. I love writing poetry and stories, but really am i that good. There are billions of people out there who can write good poems, what in the hell makes me so special. Yeah so thats my dilemma. And it's not like I just want to be rich or famous I want to affect people with my art. I want, no need, to say something. I want to say your not alone or weird or crazy(kinda like what MCR says) I want to inspire people with my art the way MCR inspires me.

Deadly Beautiful
soft shrieks always in my ears.
Gentle bangs taint every sound.
Aggressive chords haunt my thoughts.
Music is a phantom, a guardian.
It rescues me,
when I'm drowning in anguish.
It holds me back,
when anger taunts my patience.
It's hard rigorous beats,
enchant my being.
Yet some pose the question,
how can aggression exterminate anger.
Darkness cannot consume darkness.
Anger cannot consume anger.
But those who ask that question,
only hear the surface.
When there is so much more.
They see abysse,
while I see sky.
They say morbid,
and I say hopeful.
They hear death,
yet I hear beauty.
They only see darkness
inside darkness.
When all I see is light.
My misunderstood guardian.
My sheep dressed in wolfs clothing.
Helps me to live,
to carry on.

I know I cheated and listened to the leaked versions I flee terrible but I had to. I needed something to lift me up and give me hope so I gave into the temptation. I thought that the world is ugly would be the song to speak to me but actually The light behind your eyes had much more of an effect.I loved it so much and not like in a fangirl squealing type of way but a thank god this song is gonna help me get through the week kind of way. The lyrics have so much meaning and I just got chills listening to it.It is my favorite off of conventional weapons so far. Thank you My Chemical Romance for giving me hope and help in the times when I need it most.

Well lets just say this week isn't going very well. At school I left a group of friends that treated me like crap only to go to a different group of friends that don't really even pay any attention to me.I mean I wasn't like starved for attention or anything but just including me in the conversation would have been nice. So right now I don't really have a group. i'm gonna hang out with some nice people and hopefully they will stay nice unlike the others. And on top of school I get home and my mother tells me that I'm dark and my music is dark. Ummmm excuse me, I am Not dark and my music isn't either. My family thinks anything with guitar and drums is dark and if they scream once in the song forget about it.So yeah I usually don't dress "dark" but tomorrow I'm gonna wear the darkest things I own. I'm gonna wear the used shirt I have(the one with skeletons that she hates) and a red and black jacket and guess what more black.