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Awkward....

Okay so you guys probably know of the guy I've always talked about, the one who made me so paranoid it drove me to offing myself, right? Well I'll share a bit of our past.

We were great friends. Seriously, especially since no one really liked either of us. He was a bit strange and said things I sometimes didn't understand. He was a really weird kid. Well, a little while after he made me paranoid he moved away. This was about five or six years ago. Well.... guess what happened today.

He came back.

Crushed Dreams's picture

Awkward....

Okay so you guys probably know of the guy I've always talked about, the one who made me so paranoid it drove me to offing myself, right? Well I'll share a bit of our past.

We were great friends. Seriously, especially since no one really liked either of us. He was a bit strange and said things I sometimes didn't understand. He was a really weird kid. Well, a little while after he made me paranoid he moved away. This was about five or six years ago. Well.... guess what happened today.

He came back.

Crushed Dreams's picture

Maybe I don't want to confront it.

So today I was talking with my friend about the end of the world and movies that focus on that and such. Suddenly it turned into talking about my paranoia. Now this is a topic that makes me uncomfortable usually but I feel safe here so I'll share.

I've shared my depression story here before and those that know it know that the first time I tried to off myself was when I was eight years old. I only said I was severely depressed, never giving a specific reason. The reason is my paranoia. When I was eight a guy I knew told me something... terrible. At my age now it would have never bothered me because I had common sense but at that age I knew nothing. And I believed him.

What did he say? He said the world would end in thirty years.

Crushed Dreams's picture

Maybe I don't want to confront it.

So today I was talking with my friend about the end of the world and movies that focus on that and such. Suddenly it turned into talking about my paranoia. Now this is a topic that makes me uncomfortable usually but I feel safe here so I'll share.

I've shared my depression story here before and those that know it know that the first time I tried to off myself was when I was eight years old. I only said I was severely depressed, never giving a specific reason. The reason is my paranoia. When I was eight a guy I knew told me something... terrible. At my age now it would have never bothered me because I had common sense but at that age I knew nothing. And I believed him.

What did he say? He said the world would end in thirty years.

Crushed Dreams's picture

Maybe I don't want to confront it.

So today I was talking with my friend about the end of the world and movies that focus on that and such. Suddenly it turned into talking about my paranoia. Now this is a topic that makes me uncomfortable usually but I feel safe here so I'll share.

I've shared my depression story here before and those that know it know that the first time I tried to off myself was when I was eight years old. I only said I was severely depressed, never giving a specific reason. The reason is my paranoia. When I was eight a guy I knew told me something... terrible. At my age now it would have never bothered me because I had common sense but at that age I knew nothing. And I believed him.

What did he say? He said the world would end in thirty years.

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terrible day.

And I think it's about to be a horrible week. (this is long. just sayin')

So this week is hspa testing for juniors and practice hspa's for the sophomores. While they do that, we, the freshman, have this thing called "the freshman experience". First, da fuq kind of name is that. Second, I hate it and we still have two (three?) days to go. ALL WEEK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT BULLYING. OH FUCKING JOY. Today was the first day, talked about cyber bullying and watched the movie Cyber Bu//y. God it made me angry -_-" I was like "oh someone called you a slut on Face Book? How cute." My friends and I were on the verge of crying because it was so infuriating. We've all been bullied to our faces and have been beat up and here comes this girl all sobbing over some words on the computer and tried to... you know.

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Hey

It's been awhile huh? So. Um. I'll give you some life updates.

Things have been less than good. My friends are trying to cheer me up though. Upside is I got my friend addicted to Doctor Who and we obsess together. Anyway, it's been a little over a week since my breakup and I still feel terrible. He won't stop texting me. His friend even texted me!!! I'm not going back. It feels so strange that I'm.... single.... after over a year together with him. I just want to cry everything out but no tears will come out. I feel almost no sadness though and it scares me. I just want to be okay!!! But we all want that. I've also have had thoughts of... never mind. I just want to say I love you to someone and have them hold me and kiss me. -sigh- Right now I'd love a girlfriend.

XOXO
Crushed D's

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have you guys seen this?

I think BLi should show this to people so they won't be creative. So the people who made it said it's about how the media and such tell us how to act and not to be creative. Yeah. This shows this a little too well. This honestly scares me.

XOXO
Crushed D's

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I keep having the same nightmare

This is going to be really long. Just warning you.

Idk I needed to put this somewhere. It's not that I'm having the same nightmare, it's that I'm having nightmares with the same plot, same "villain", but it's a continuation. It's always about me and another person close to me (not any adults) at a place. Then we go back to my house. My house is in the middle of the woods by the way. So then at one point we go out into the woods, always at the same place. I'll either look to my right or here my name or here "stop".

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kthxbye

I'm going to go drown my sorrow in math homework and Doctor Who. Oh David Tennant...

-Crushed D's