Salmon Rab Bit's blog

Because I am a stupid brat,
this morning when I went to my mom's house to get my swimwear for the sport at school,
I decided that i had time left and that i could have a cup of coffee (well it was a mug but who cares ?) .
So I poured the delicious coffee...and I drank it.... But I didn't eat anything and the night before I had slept something like 5 hours...( Not my fault I just felt like watching L.O.T.M.S).

I guess the coffee was too strong or something, 'cause I like it black ya know....Very black.

And then I went to school.

at the begining it felt great...I had that energy that strength....And because my teacher was missing I didn't have class in the afternoon.

But I went to the english class....And my hands couldn't stop trembling.

The world was fucking shaking....and I could not speak without stuttering.

This I can stand it....

But then things were shaking even more....And my mouth was trembling....And I wanted to barf...And my tummy hurt.

So they told me I should go to see the nurse. That's what I did. She gave me some food. And told me I could not going to sport like this.

So I began class at 9am and finished at 10 am....

But I feel guilty.

Hope my parents won't heard of this....Because I don't wanna say "goodbye coffee...."

i know I'm a coffeholic. (and a cocaholic....But that's another story.)

D.E.S.T.R.O.Y

Drowning in a world of desillusion, it kills your faith believers dead ! to the end...
*Evil people hiding behind your back trying to killing you in the night
*Strangle by the monster under my bed oh it hurts can't stand much unafraid
*Terror is the reason that they gave you , and so what ? all we need is to fight !
*Rare are the people that will help you, they are killers they are fuckers they know you...
*Oh! horrible things 's gonna happened to you let's hope vampires forgive you !
*You're the one i love and I will find you I Will kill you I will hurt you

soo

Destroy me Destroy me destroy my body
*take off my skin i wanna feel the sin
*destroy me destroy me destroy my brain
*you may eat it , you may take it ! I wanna be zombie

Devil 's eyes those fucking brats are always watching you... give'em hell eat their brains, i'll show you how to do....
Even monsters can't help you, they are tired they are scared you can't rely on them.
Struggle has just start, honey where is my gun ? I will need it I will use it ! I swear I kill a lot.
Terribly tired is how I feel terribly needed is what you are. Don't leave me ! Rely on me you're the only one for me !
Rules the world and killed my brothers take my hand follow the leaders.... i'm alone and i don't care i'd be better than you anywhere.
Oh ! All the things I would have told you all the cuts I would have made you in my dreams....

You looked like a goddamned angel but felt like hell with that knife in your hand

sooo

destroy me , destroy me,
destroy my body
Teake of your skin
I wanna feel your sin baby

Destroy me , destroy me
destroy my brain
You may fill it with pain
I don't care since you love me.
if ya love me destroy me.

If you love me destroy me
If you love me destroy me
If you love me destroy....

If you love me destroy me

Oh my goood don't worry people I'm not anorexic....I just hate having breakfast And I was sleeping at lunch time....

But ya know I eat :)

I just ate chilli :)

Happy to know this, isn'it ?

But my tummy till aches :(

I'm ruining my own body. i don't sleep, I don't eat, I just drink fucking coffee.

I hate myself for treating my body like that....

Like hell my tummy is aching....

I should eat but I'm not angry. I'm starving and when i'm starving my tummy ache and that's all.

AAAAAAH FUCK THIS !

I should eat something....

It's like looking through a dirty window
Can't really trust it, can't go through it
And can't really see outside
There's only this window and then I'm free

But I can't break it
'cause I feel so weak
For me would ya do it ?
Remember you saiiid

I won't let anybody touch you
I won't let anybody get you
They won't take you alive
And we will survive
I am taking care of you !

***

But that was wrong
and i'm alone
and i can't stand it aymore
I'm so tired
i'm so upset and I swear it
I don't deserve it

***

Remember it when we were holding hands
walking together
happy for ever
in our own twisted world
That hand I held
I thought will never leave me

But you walked away from me
I couldn't follow you
My hands, so goddamned cold
Since you left me....

remember you said

***
I won't let anybody touch you
I won't let anybody get you
They won't take you alive
And we will survive
I am taking care of you !

***

But that was wrong
and i'm alone
and i can't stand it aymore
I'm so tired
i'm so upset and I swear it
I don't deserve it

I remember yesterday when we were
Walking in that place
but you were restless
I dindn't understand why
In the sunset it was the time for your last...Cigarette
I remember that smell
You said i'll give'em hell
You can run honey....
They won't run after you....

and you said

***
I won't let anybody touch you
I won't let anybody get you
They won't take you alive
And we will survive
I am taking care of you !

***

But that was wrong
and i'm alone
and i can't stand it aymore
I'm so tired
i'm so upset and I swear it
I don't deserve it

here , sad and alone
insanity the only one
with me
in my head
the roses you gave
the promesses you made
are watching me like ghost from a not so distant past

The time you were saying
you love me , and having
feelings...
The time where you were
that strong hero
always next to me
here to make my troubles
go awayyy

When I closed my eyes I see mickey mouse...

haha this is getting weirder and weirder

That's it.... waiting mcr 's contest all night long killed me.

But my biggest mistake was to not gonna sleep this morning and overcaffeinne myself instead..... i'm a stupid moron .

I' can't stop trembling, i feel like I'm gonna barf and the simple idea of eating something is just revolting to me....

And you, how do you feel ? :)

I like trash bands that don't think they are THE shit.....

And are great on stage

just wanted to say it.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand nobody gives a shit xD

I jusst feel so weird....

I'm happy

But i'm I don't know how I feel....

It's like peace...But i'm restless

Calm but I'm hyper....

Well I feel totally paradoxal.

check out my drawings ;)

Coffee you traitor ! I just burn my tongue to fucking death trying to drink you !

I thought you loved me just as I do love you....

But I love you anyway .

You're my only one savior after whites nights :)