roarasoarus's blog

Every day someone comes up to me and tells me "Gosh Elise, you're always so positive!" "You're always so happy!" "You always seem so happy", or something along the lines of that.
It kills me that I have to act so happy all the time when I'm anything but happy.
It kills me that they believe it, even through my obvious hints.
It kills me that nobody can help me, or even would if they could.
It kills me that I live alone in this isolated world in my head.
It kills me that I have to feel this way.
It kills me, it really does.

Every day someone comes up to me and tells me "Gosh Elise, you're always so positive!" "You're always so happy!" "You always seem so happy", or something along the lines of that.
It kills me that I have to act so happy all the time when I'm anything but happy.
It kills me that they believe it, even through my obvious hints.
It kills me that nobody can help me, or even would if they could.
It kills me that I live alone in this isolated world in my head.
It kills me that I have to feel this way.
It kills me, it really does.

Every day someone comes up to me and tells me "Gosh Elise, you're always so positive!" "You're always so happy!" "You always seem so happy", or something along the lines of that.
It kills me that I have to act so happy all the time when I'm anything but happy.
It kills me that they believe it, even through my obvious hints.
It kills me that nobody can help me, or even would if they could.
It kills me that I live alone in this isolated world in my head.
It kills me that I have to feel this way.
It kills me, it really does.

Every day someone comes up to me and tells me "Gosh Elise, you're always so positive!" "You're always so happy!" "You always seem so happy", or something along the lines of that.
It kills me that I have to act so happy all the time when I'm anything but happy.
It kills me that they believe it, even through my obvious hints.
It kills me that nobody can help me, or even would if they could.
It kills me that I live alone in this isolated world in my head.
It kills me that I have to feel this way.
It kills me, it really does.

Every day someone comes up to me and tells me "Gosh Elise, you're always so positive!" "You're always so happy!" "You always seem so happy", or something along the lines of that.
It kills me that I have to act so happy all the time when I'm anything but happy.
It kills me that they believe it, even through my obvious hints.
It kills me that nobody can help me, or even would if they could.
It kills me that I live alone in this isolated world in my head.
It kills me that I have to feel this way.
It kills me, it really does.

Every day someone comes up to me and tells me "Gosh Elise, you're always so positive!" "You're always so happy!" "You always seem so happy", or something along the lines of that.
It kills me that I have to act so happy all the time when I'm anything but happy.
It kills me that they believe it, even through my obvious hints.
It kills me that nobody can help me, or even would if they could.
It kills me that I live alone in this isolated world in my head.
It kills me that I have to feel this way.
It kills me, it really does.

I'm doing bad today. I started feeling a bit better and happier two weeks ago, but the past two days have been a low point. I feel like such a loser, I have no friends. The few that I do I just don't have the physical on mental power to hang out with like a normal person, so I sit in my room all day and night, doing nothing and talking to nobody. I get really lazy and all I want to do is be alone and I feel extreamly lonely and unwanted because of it. It's nine o'clock and I already "went to bed" and said goodnight to my parents for the night because I know I'm going to just burst into tears any moment now. I feel so lousy and just down right terrible and I don't know what to do. I don't think there's anything I can do, other than hope I feel better some time soon. It'll happen eventually, then soon after I'll feel like shit and then it'll repeat and I'll just go back and forth from feeling decent to feeling like absolute crap. Oh well.

Yours in cheese sauce,

roarasoarus

I'm doing bad today. I started feeling a bit better and happier two weeks ago, but the past two days have been a low point. I feel like such a loser, I have no friends. The few that I do I just don't have the physical on mental power to hang out with like a normal person, so I sit in my room all day and night, doing nothing and talking to nobody. I get really lazy and all I want to do is be alone and I feel extreamly lonely and unwanted because of it. It's nine o'clock and I already "went to bed" and said goodnight to my parents for the night because I know I'm going to just burst into tears any moment now. I feel so lousy and just down right terrible and I don't know what to do. I don't think there's anything I can do, other than hope I feel better some time soon. It'll happen eventually, then soon after I'll feel like shit and then it'll repeat and I'll just go back and forth from feeling decent to feeling like absolute crap. Oh well.

Yours in cheese sauce,

roarasoarus

Wow. I've been gone for a while, haven't I? It's been what? Two months? I doubt that anyone noticed other than two or three people, but I just want everyone to know that I'm alive and I'm doing fine, well at least as fine as I was two months ago.
I got an instagram around the time I disappeared. I feel like that, among other things, is why I left. At first my family didn't know about it and so I would feel comfortable posting my thoughts on there. I guess it made me feel better, like more people were listening, when I saw that someone liked the picture I had wrote something along with because there was actually proof to me that someone read it, unlike on here. Eventually, my mom found out, made me give her the password and set the account to private, and stripped me of all my freedom I had on there. It drove me insane and I finally had enough sense to come back here.

So I drew this on my assignment pad for school Sunday, but while I was working I realized... Oh shit! The American flag has 50 stars! And I'm not putting 50 white stars on it! That's way too time consuming and hard even if I just make dots instead. Why can't we just have a simpler flag here in America?
Anyway, I think it turned out pretty good, even though there aren't any stars on it. It's still very Danger Days and quite patriotic.