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im trying to survive here so help or keep running

i dont know guys... im something i just dont know what.
i suffer from PTSD (post tramatic stress disorder) and depression
whenever i get into these moods i just blame the depression
what else is there to do when i can find nothing to be depressed about and yet i still am?
ive only had one flash back this week and headaches but i can handle it right?

i really need to find a purpose

anyone want to read a story im writing?

heres the bebinning. if you like it comment and ill keep posting :)

Prologue

We sit at the table
As always you take out that notebook
I've tried to look in it but you pull it away
"What are you writing? You can't keep secrets!"

You look over at me and smile
"A letter to your mom of course!"
We laugh and you put it away
Five years of friendship with no secrets hidden

I give ben a hug and walk home
No secrets? That's what he thinks
If only he knew
I open the front door to my house

A sudden pain shoots through my left cheek
"You're late again!" The screams begin.
I run to my room but he's right

watching hannah montana the movie!

yeah thats right and im not afraid to admit that either!

im way too freaking depressed for reasons i make myself!!!!!

so today during work i almost broke down in tears.
i was wondering what would happen if my dad died today
this isnt normal for me and thats what pisses me off the most
i really dont know what i would do i dont have anyone here

WOW MCR actually did flash gordan!! XD
2 SONGS FROM THE UP COMING ALBUM!!!

kiss the ring: http://youtu.be/b3JT1xmzuXE

the world is ugly: http://youtu.be/uSr8l6Iht-0

enjoy :D and comment if you ove me XD

im still alive

havnt been here in 4 months... wow i feel like an epif fail for that but its all good

hey guys hows life rolling for you?
i just turned 20 yesturday and NO I AM NOT OLD YET!!!

i like glow in the dark stuff and dinosours

i havnt checked in in a while. im still alive... sort of.
counciling is telling me everything i already know so no help there
i suffer from depression (saw that coming it runs in the family) and PTS (post tramatic stress syndom) didnt want to hear that at all but it us what it is

right now? im putting glow in the dark beads into a cool looking jar

can i please be done withh it all?!?

i wwant to be done with everything. with this house these people in this house my love life everything. the arguments arent worth it and the waiting isnt either. why must i wait to be truly happy and still not be when she comes because my family will always and forever diapprove.

i cant handle anything anymore. i dont want to die or anything but when people cause me to want to cut thats when i know i should leave and stop being those peoples friends.

i just dont know anymore

my way home is through you //_^

nothings more perfect than finding that perfect soeeone. the one that can be by your side at all times the one who can make you laugh when youre down and doesnt judge when you do something wrong.

the one who will help you with your issues no matter whats on their mind and who will never change the topic even when its one they dont like.

i love my special someone.

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