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now looking for new songs

SUICIDE ROOM!!

an amazing movie so sad but so very realistic of what can happen to a person with a seemingly perfect life
the music used to make videos of this movie are really good

when you first look at a person don't assume you know how they are just by the looks because deep down on the inside they can be suffering more than you could ever imagine.

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my night went well... but i have news

after sleeping as much as I did yesterday I surprisingly slept last night.
I was so mad when my mom woke me up yesterday... no one knows what happened other than you guys (my mcrmy family)
my mom sort of knows now but she underestimates my motives I can tell.
my head just keeps spinning.... as the curser blinks I wonder what more to say

.
.
.

I wish for you all to know the real me... no one else really matters

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listening to conventional weapons before bed

trying to relax and be positive before I try to sleep again
no more bad dreams and no more bad thoughts is what im trying for
good night killjoys more news to come tomorrow if you would like to know

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she woke me up...

okay guys and gals Ive had a horrible month
things have been smacking me in the face left and right
last night I cracked
took a bunch of sleeping pills hoping to never wake up again
well I threw up... I don't know how much
but enough that my mom woke me up this morning
I fell back to sleep until 9 this evening
theres more to this but I don't think any of you would understand

please don't hate me for this

~atomic ghost aka cherise

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JUST STOP CHERISE!!! (thats me)

I keep catching myself trying to find more my chem merch to buy!!!
I really need to stop and start saving!!
hell if mcr does come back ill need money for concerts anyways!

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still alive

so this week has almost come to an end and I must say it hasn't been the best
I think im going to see the family doctor and get antidepressants
last night I was at my all time worst
I talked to my mom about it and admitted what I did fearlessly knowing I have a plan to fix it and I wasn't aiming to do any real damage

im staying strong killjoys I promise you that :)

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hmm

feeling like life is punching me in the face lately
I really don't like this feeling and I don't wish to get used to it either
I honestly am at the point where I don't wish to have any friends or anyone around me
I just want to disappear would that be so bad really?

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i dont wish to remeber!!

have you ever had that moment when a memory from your past suddenly smacks you in the face?
do any of yall know what DID is?
well my sister and I was having a talk about my past and how there's a lot I don't know that she does.
growing up my sister was my anchor my life line my hero

"Think back to when you were in the basement." she said "Try to remember what happened there."

our talk was longer but I know where I stand right now and I don't know if I like this at all

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the world is ugly

Falling.
Falling fast.
Why can't I stop?
Why do I feel so alone?

Their eyes are all on me.
Their fingers pointing my way.
I know who I am.
Wait do I?

Seeing the girl in the corner.
Who is she?
She's sad.
She's been crying.

Blood dripping from her arm.
Is this me?
It can't be.
What did I do?
What had I done?

My mom enters the room.
All she does is watch.
Then she walks away.
Why doesn't she stop her?
What happened?

What caused this?

The music changes.
Blaring in my ears.
Why can't she see me?
Why can't she hear?

I'm not that girl anymore.
I'm not so lost anymore.
I want to live.
I want to prove them wrong.

The music gets louder
and the girl stands.
She won't look at me.
What is she looking at?

She walks toward me
as I back away she runs through me
I look at the door behind me.

There's no one there.
I look back toward the corner.
There stands a mirror.

putonyourhappyface's picture

the world is ugly

Falling.
Falling fast.
Why can't I stop?
Why do I feel so alone?

Their eyes are all on me.
Their fingers pointing my way.
I know who I am.
Wait do I?

Seeing the girl in the corner.
Who is she?
She's sad.
She's been crying.

Blood dripping from her arm.
Is this me?
It can't be.
What did I do?
What had I done?

My mom enters the room.
All she does is watch.
Then she walks away.
Why doesn't she stop her?
What happened?

What caused this?

The music changes.
Blaring in my ears.
Why can't she see me?
Why can't she hear?

I'm not that girl anymore.
I'm not so lost anymore.
I want to live.
I want to prove them wrong.

The music gets louder
and the girl stands.
She won't look at me.
What is she looking at?

She walks toward me
as I back away she runs through me
I look at the door behind me.

There's no one there.
I look back toward the corner.
There stands a mirror.