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Breakdowns are the worst....

I feel horrible, like i'm just having a breakdown in my life. I don't want to though,I keep feeling depressed over the slightest things and it's really annoying. All of my friends have boyfriends and I don't and that makes me feel depressed, worthless and just completely ugly. 
When my brother goes down to my dad's, I get extremely annoyed and depressed for some reason and I keep on crying and I can't handle most of the stuff anymore. School just makes it worse, I want to break down and cry all the time in there but I can't because I get bullied enough and I don't want it to get worse. 
I'm a drug addict, yes I admit it and I'm not proud. I gave up on everything and still do, the only place I feel welcome is here, well rarely. When I talk to people on here I pretend to be happy but I'm actually crying on the other end of the screen.
Much more stuff goes on but I really just don't want to tell anyone.

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I give up.

Well I just give up, on my friends, my fanfic, my life. I just don't see the point anymore and probably won't. I just want more and more drugs, mainly marijuana for some reason... I don't even know anymore. I hate having bipolar issues honestly I felt fine about 20 minutes ago -.- great time to feel like this eh? Let's just disappear in a hole forever and never go near anyone again, yep that seems like a plan... Well let's just give up for good...

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You can run away with me anytime you want (Part 4)

The session was over before we knew it and I was walking with Gerard and Frank going up to French. I was in French with Sam and Ray, which honestly was hilarious. I was one of the first to get there and Frank and Gerard had Spanish and they were the last there. 
Ray and Sam were already there when I got in and as usual I took my seat beside Sam and Ray was on Sam's other side, I still couldn't believe that Mrs. Kerr let them sit together because she was the noisiest teacher ever and always hated our class. Straight away we took out our books because everyone was scared of her, a lot.
"So how was your alone time with Frank?" Sam asked
"It was good, we hugged twice and they were quite long and he asked to take me to the concert tonight" I said calmly but Sam was now freaking out.
"Oh my god! he's gonna do something tonight!" Sam basically screamed
"Shh and he probably won't but thanks, I think" I said laughing a little

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You can run away with me anytime you want (PART 3)

"Just don't fall for it, please because I love you!" Mikey said embracing me into a tight hug.
"Wait, what?!" I shouted pushing him away sort of.
"I've put up with you telling me how much you love Frank and I wanted to say that I love you, Frank loves you too that's what he told me and I need to tell you how I feel about you. I love you, you're an amazing girl and the most down to earth person I have ever met and we were best friends since the first concert we ever went to and from that moment on I loved you, we were 13 now we're 17. Do you know how hard it's been for me, I love you" He said all basically in one breath, I honestly had no clue what to say.
"Mikey, I love you too and did for a while but not anymore, if you told me a while ago I would say yes but I love Frank, a lot I'm so sorry. I sound like a bitch don't I?" I said almost breaking down into tears, but Mikey hugged me tightly 

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FRANK AND JAMIA!!!!!

I looked at my screen and read the tweet over and over again, Frank Iero and Jamia Iero had just has a little baby boy, baby Iero I call him. I felt the hot tears run down my face, this was the best news I had heard since my chemical romance announced they were recording a new album. I let out a scream, a loud scream. My mum came running into my room asking what was wrong. I still screamed and finally told her, I told her Frank Iero had just had a new baby and the MCRmy had a new solider. She looked at me and then walked out my room obviously thinking I was crazy. I got up and blasted all of danger days and I screamed, danced and cried. I could not have been anymore happier

Congratulations Frank Iero and Jamia Iero, I'm so happy for you both :) I'm sure baby Iero couldn't ask for better parents than you two, congratulations again, but I am so happy and excited! 

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You can run away with me anythime you want (PART 2)

"You what?" I asked now feeling quite scared
"I forgot my homework for music can I copy yours?" He asked. I felt horrible, everything I hoped for was probably gone now. Fuckin music homework was not was I was expecting!.
"Um yeah sure give me two minutes so I can get It out my bag" I said taking my backpack off and sitting it on the ground unzipping it looking for my small music Jotter with the homework.
"Here you go" I said handing him over a small red book covered in lyrics and drawings.
"Thanks!" He said taking it and putting it in his bag "I'll do it in modern studies" 
"Okay, cya later" I said as Frank headed back to the group and I stood still, I couldn't  believe it.
"Well never keep your hopes up high Dawn they always fall" I thought to myself picking my bag off the floor and putting it back on just in time for the bell to ring. 
I pulled put my small timetable once again not knowing what I was in. 

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You can runaway with me anytime you want (PART 1)

I stared out into the open space of the garden, it was fading as winter was just coming. All the leaves spread out along the ground stretching from the tree's right over to me all the way across the garden. The wind send a cold shiver down my spine as it always done at this time of year.
I'm 17 and I like in the worst most involved town ever, and I hated it.

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Me....

Well I think It's time after a year to show you guys what I actually look like
Me and My friend Hayley I keep going on about....xD
ENJOY! :D

The first picture is a picture of me, when I actually had my hair sitting okay!!! xD

The second picture is one of me and my best friend Hayley! I actually love her so much! She means everything to me, no joke! Well that's us on a normal sort of day xD

The third one is another one of me and Hayley being cool, well not really but that's what we say because we find it funny xD

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Well, That wasn't as planned. Time to give up.

Well, I went to see my dad today. My stepmum once again started shouting at me and blaming the fact my dad and her nearly got divorced. Unfortunately my dad fuckin' agreed with her! -_- Truly supportive there dad, telling me I'm good for nothing and I should just give up my dreams. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll turn back to fuckin' drugs, It would make you happy, It would make everyone happy! Time to give up on everything, I don't have a bass anymore. My brother broke it and I was meant to put it in today to get fixed oh but where is it now? In the bin. Its already gone. So well done dad, I'm back on drugs, gave up my dreams and staying with my best friend. All at the age of 13. Well done, hope you're proud -_-

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HEY! XD

Well Its 3 pm and I have just woke up and watched youtube videos and just having the best day ever! xD So whoever's waiting on my new fanfic will have to wait as today is just a lazy day where I am just going to sit and do nothing except sleep, eat and go on the laptop! xD Sorry for anyone wanting to read it, but tomorrow it will be up or maybe tonight, we'll see xD
So how are the rest of you killjoys?

~Death Candy