Neon transit's blog Syndicate content

Definitions
I am imagined.
Everything inside of me
Everything I want to be
Everyone that looks at me
Knows nothing.
I am malleable.
Everything I’ll ever say
Everything I try to pray
Every time I walk away
Means nothing.
I am dwindling.
Every image I could be
Every word I try to read
Everything in front of me
Speaks nothing.
I am trying.
Every face I’ll ever show
Everywhere I try to go
Everything I’ll never know
Makes nothing.
I am human.
Everything…
Is nothing.

Neon transit's picture

I just recently sent this to a killjoy but i mean it for all of you

oh my god. I am so sorry. You probably hate me by now. Its been almost a year. Hoenstly Ive been hacing alot of problems lately and I decided to take a break and completely just cut myself off from the killjoys. all of them. i hated it but i needed it. I recently found out that not only do i have depression but also anxiety and OCD. i decided that taking a break from you guys, though it would NOT be fun (and trust me it wasnt) would be the only way i could truly focus on myself and answering my own questions. Im thankfully on the road to recovery and I decided last year that I would give mysle falmost a years time to fix everything. Well, its been almost a year. I dont know if you forgot about me, but i didnt forget you. Im sorry.

Neon transit's picture

i want you to know

i would be dead without you guys.

Neon transit's picture

people care less, i write less

so my fanfic has been coming out veeerrryy slowly because ive been getting so busy but i find that not many people care anymore anyway. i want to keep writing but i feel like it would do my characters an injustice by giving them a hollow audience. nobody gives a damn, should i keep writing? its my passion but i feel like nobody gives a care as to what my passion is. help.

Neon transit's picture

people care less, i write less

so my fanfic has been coming out veeerrryy slowly because ive been getting so busy but i find that not many people care anymore anyway. i want to keep writing but i feel like it would do my characters and injustice by giving them a hollow audience. nobody gives a damn, should i keep writing? its my passion but i feel like nobody gives a care as to what my passion is. help.

Neon transit's picture

This is stupid but anyway...

If you have a twitter you should follow me and I'll follow you :)
@ToriAllen15 is mine. I just want to get to know some of you guys.
Ok sorry for that stupid blog I'm done now.

Neon transit's picture

KEEP YOUR APOLOGY (CHAPTER 5)

IM BACK MOTHER FUCKERS! AND SO IS MY FANFICTION! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK?

“ Oh my god,” Neon Transit said. She couldn’t believe this. She couldn’t believe who had knocked on the door of HER nerd cave. She called the others to see.

Their footsteps came closer and then there was a slight squeal and a loud thud. Neon looked behind her to see what was going on. Double Ryder had just fainted.

Alkaline Insanity just stood with her mouth open almost as wide as her eyes. She wasn’t going to faint (maybe) but she was definitely awe struck.

She looked over to Cellophane revenge who was just hyperventilating through a paper bag she keeps in her pocket. Cellophane believed that if any killjoy got stuck in a sandstorm the main breathing tool they needed was a paper bag, so she always kept one on her. They were good for times like this too, though.

Neon transit's picture

nobody is going to care to read this.

i havent been on in a while. stupid me.
but im acutally going to post my first blog type thing in a long while.
i know you guys wont reead this but if you do please tell me that you did. i just need reassuance that i matter in this world right now. ah, im so selfish. o well.
anyway, i just had a really bad breakdown due to my hating the world andall thats in it. including my self. mainly myself.
and i tried to write poems which is what i usually do and i couldnt. not even listenign to mcr helped me and that never happened before.
i know that i cant kill myself. i am too much of a pansy. and honestly i dont want to stain the new carpet.
i just wish there was a way out. i want to feel again. i want to laugh and not be so hollow.
i dont love anyone rigt now. i wish i did, but with love only comes heartache.
i would rather have heartache than whatever i have now. i feel nothing. i need help. i realize that. but i dont know how to get it.

Neon transit's picture

MY HEROES, MY PARADE - a poem by me

this is what I wish I could say to my heroes. You guys know who they are.

I know people say this
I know I'm cliche
But I am not lying
When I say they're to blame

For all of my happiness
For all I've been through
They gave it to me
They made me feel new

Yes I was lost
And maybe still am
But they always find me
When I fall, help me stand

They gave me the wisdom
The strength to go on
I have never met them
But my love is so strong.

Neon transit's picture

CLIMBING UP THE SIDEWALK - a poem by me

This is how I feel right now:

Always fail
Never quit
I prevail
In my pit

Always fall
Try to stand
Lose it all
Drown in sand

Try to reach
Get cut off
Try to preach
From life's trough

Never breath
Always choke
Out of lies
Must use hope

Always fall
Try to stand
Never quit
Take the chance