Narcotic aura's blog Syndicate content

Narcotic aura's picture

My Guitar <3

A while back Kerrang! posted stickers and last week they included tattoos so over time I've added them. I love it! *notice both Gerards* :D

Narcotic aura's picture

Downward spiral

It's been going on for a few years but lately my life has gone quicker into a downward spiral. Cant remember what it's like to be excited or truly happy about anything, i just feel tired, anxious and scared all the time. The one person who needs me most is having problems and i'm the only one they talk to but it's out of my power to do anything but talk and be with them as much as possible but i don't know what else to do. I feel completely helpless i cant always be there to stop them from hurting. I'd do anything to protect them, i just wish i could do more :'(

Narcotic aura's picture

I Love These Weirdos! <3

Narcotic aura's picture

About last night

I posted a blog last night/early this morning about the guy stood looking in through my window, and firstly thanks for your comments they really helped me stay distracted :)
However, i didn't sleep last night and so when my dad made me go to my art class i couldn't stay and ended up leaving after 30 mins ( i locked myself in the college bathroom for 15 minutes though) but no one could pick me up so i had to walk for nearly 2 miles to my nan's house all the while panicking so i was sick a few times so my feet are killing, i'm physically and emotionally exhausted. I know i shouldn't let last night get to me it was probably a drunk guy but now my anxiety is hitting an all time high and i dont even know when my next CAMHS appointment is :(
Anyway thanks to the guys who gave me advice, much appreciated.

Narcotic aura's picture

IM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!

So i was down stairs and trying to fall asleep on the couch watching SPN but then i dunno why but i looked to the window and THERE'S A MAN LOOKING IN AT ME! He was standing up against the glass and actually had his hands against it and trying to look at me, i just ran up the stairs to my mum and dad, my dad looked outside with our dog but there was no one there. The gate was left open and minutes later i saw a guy ride past on a bike facing away from the house and now i can hear noises outside and it's bringing on a major panic attack! I rarely ever leave my house but now i dont feel safe and i cant sleep, i have my art classes tomorrow but i dont want to leave my mum home alone. What if he comes back?! The only reason i'm on here is to try and keep myself distracted but if there's anyone on here right now can you please talk to me cause i swear i'm gonna be sick and need help to calm down :(

Narcotic aura's picture

Let me know ^_^

Anyone on here love Supernatural? I freaking live it sooooooo much HEHE It's my favorite thing ever!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Anyway i was just wondering if anyone else does? :)

Narcotic aura's picture

Yesterday

It was Fathers day yesterday and so my sister, her girlfriend, my brother and nan came round for tea ( i haven't seen my other brother since i was 9, i'm 17 now, and my other sister is a stuck up bitch who would rather spend fathers day with her boyfriend apparently) anyway, it was going okay but as as usual ( not that i didn't expect it) but my nan turned nasty and called me; fat, told me i have no friends (true, but i don't need it shoved in my face), no one will ever love me and so i will never mary and be alone for a ll my life. She's nice my nan isn't she? -_-

Narcotic aura's picture

negative me

- I'm 17 and already feel like my best days are behind me.
- I don't have any friends. ( not kidding ) My mum wants me to have a party to celebrate my 18th but i have nobody to invite haha Siblings don't count. -_-
- My brothers and sisters never include me in anything, they're always doing things together but never seem to acknowledge me or care to invite me along. They only speak to me if they want money are ask me to pass a message on to my parents.
- I spend everyday wishing for something different, watching Supernatural, listening to music and reading cause my anxiety and depression prevented my from attending college last year. ( so yeah i'm basically a loser)
-Having family problems lately, that have caused me to slip back into bad habits.
- The person i care most about in this world is going through a tough time and i feel helpless and heartbroken. I'm doing all i can to help but i don't think it's good enough; i cant sleep or eat because i'm too worried about them.

Narcotic aura's picture

We're inconsiderate?!

I don't want to be angry but Matt Pelissier's tweets are making me that right now, i had to unfollow him the other day cause i didn't like what he was saying but a comment someone else showed me made me have another look and honestly i'm shocked. Fair enough have you're own opinion but when that opinion is hurting other people just stop. I understand he's been hurt by them and there are things he isn't allowed to say but he's trashing their memory and honestly i'm pissed about it. I used to respect him and when he followed me back on twitter well i could have died of happiness but now i feel hate and i don't like feeling that way about a past MCR member i really don't :( He's even saying nasty things about Gerard's letter and being thanked... Sorry guys i don't mean to rant but i just had to get that off my chest, and if you still love him then i'm sorry to you too but if he's allowed to have an opinion then so am i. Go read his tweets for yourself.

MCRmy XO

Narcotic aura's picture

I really need to talk to someone

Gerard has confirmed it only minutes ago on twitter with a beautifully written message but honestly i feel worse than before cause even though deep down it was in fact over i had a sparkle of hope it wasn't and now i feel as though my heart has been torn from me and it hurts so much. I'm crying harder than ever. I wish all of them the best of luck in whatever they do and hope they live happy amazing lives! I still love them and no matter what they are my fucking heroes and always will be. And to everyone who gives them hate can take a look in the mirror because if it wasn't for My Chemical Romance they probably wouldn't even be there to judge them. They deserve so much respect for these past 12 years it's unbelievable, Love them and the MCRmy so much!
I would be really grateful to have someone to talk to though cause i am struggling with this :(
One last time: KILLJOYS MAKE SOME NOISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

Three Cheers For 12 Years Of Chemical Romance!!!