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NEW ZEALAND

Getting closer and closer every day! I wanted to know, are you any of you lovely Paraders/Revenge Seekers/Killjoys etc. currently living there? It'd be nice to know someone, so... Yeah. If you do, just say so in the comments! I'm a little bit excited and I can't think straight- Coffee overload.

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MOVING

So, this Wednesday will be last day at my current school for a while, and people who barely ever talk to me (and when they do it tends to be a snide remark about the way I dress, all the clichés etc.) are constantly coming up to me and saying things like, "OMG i am liek toooootes gonna miss u bring me kool stuff bak from new zeland bby!!!!"... Stop. Just, stop pretending that you like me when in your opinion getting your vocal chords ripped out by wolves would be less painful than spending time with me.
Anyway, I get to fly back to England (where I grew up) for around a week to sort some more things out about visas and getting things for my mother to wear on television, so it should be nice because I get to spend some time with my closest friend Xsavannah (the X is silent) who is the younger sister of my best friend who commit suicide (see previous blog). It will be nice to see her and her family again, they're where I'd run to if I ever decided to leave.

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saddened

Recently, my close friend commit suicide due to bullying, anorexia, depression etc. and I've been having lots of dreams about her. They're not particularly eventful dreams, we're just talking. The setting changes a lot, though. Sometimes we're on a beach, in an empty coffee shop, on the terrace of her house, just talking. Sometimes the dreams make me feel elated when I wake up, and they make me feel like I'm going to have a good day- But other times they make me realize how much I miss her and how hard it is not to have anyone to talk to. Parents and teachers and family always say that they can help, but they don't understand. Losing the only person that you can talk to about anything is a shock the system, but having no one around you that understands is just painful. I try to write down my feelings, try to take out my anger and my sadness and my hysteria by means of creativity, but it just isn't enough. I really don't know what to do anymore.

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procrastination

So, I'm making a mental-institution themed comic for my art project, and I can't stop procrastinating! I keep having to sit myself down and say, "You have to do this!", but I always find a way to get out of it. Don't get me wrong, I love this project, I love both reading and making comics and stuff, but I'm the kind of person with a very short attention span so whenever I write a song I'm singing it at the top of my lungs for around 15 minutes and then get distracted by something completely off the topic of what I was trying to do. Maybe its all the caffeine.

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I Have Views, Too

So, in school today, I thought it would be a good idea to share my views about things in school that need serious work. For instance, the general disciplinary system, the uniform being inappropriate etc. So, I explain my feelings to my teacher and she gives me the kind of look you give someone if you saw them kill someone. She proceeded to say, "Well, that's just your childish opinion, just leave this kind of stuff to the adults".

I swear, If I didn't have this much self control I would have punched her square in the face. Honestly, you try to talk to these people and all you ever get is an exaggerated expression and/or comment displaying the utmost disdain. I quit. Want to know the worst part? The sound on my laptop has decided to stop working, so not even MCR can help me. I just can't- UGH.

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Comic Con 2013

So, this year I have managed to acquire enough money for two tickets to Comic Con 2013. Wanna know the catch? I CAN'T GO BECAUSE I AM MOVING TO NEW ZEALAND FOR AROUND 6 MONTHS. The one year where I can get comics signed, replenish my comic stash... All chances are about as dead as my old Runescape account. On the plus side, New Zealand is where they filmed Lord Of The Rings, so I get to visit the shire instead! Do not doubt for one minute that I won't quote every line from every film/book, because I will. I'll even act out the scenes alone if I have to! Well, I'm going to cry about the loss of my Comic Con 2013 chances in the shower (which will probably start to run cold in 5 minutes). Goodnight!