music martyr's blog

First, I wanna thank everyone who messaged me and commented on my last blog, it truly helped.
Things have gotten better, when I came home, its like it never happened, sure they might talk amongst themselves but its never addressed to me. Things have gotten better. <3 I love you all:)

Today was full of tears. A rumor was spread a few weeks ago that i asked a girl i liked out(not true) today a paren called my mom and apparently said she felt uncomfortable with her child around me(which probabky isnt true) my mom said shes going up to school to sort this out and said i better not be hiding anything or id be punished...ultimatly i was forced to come out. I dont even know what i am yet! Now im at my dads house for a week because i just couldnt deal with hearing dont tell anyone ekse you like girks, gurls are going to be awkward around you, this is just a phase, females shouldnt like females, this is just becayse your into tegan and sara, you have no mind of your own. Im so fucking stressed....and in tears! Help me, someone

I'm trying so hard not to crumple under this evil creature called depression, I'm trying so hard.
My life is fine...to others.
My family is nice...most of the time.
I'm happy.. Am I?

I'm fat
I'm awkward
I'm just...just so tired.
So very tired.

I see you crawling depression
Slithering towards me like a snake
So dark and beautiful yet extremely deadly
Yet I'm still alive...barely

I'm currently watching the musical and let me just say this is amazing. I'm in love with it! Has anyone else seen it? If so how did you here about it? I kept hearing about it from the youtuber ellosteph(seriously check her out!) and today I stumbled upon it in a rental store:)

Okay its called experiences. Its really like life experiences you've encountered within the week. For example if your experience was seeing an interesting movie the blot title would be: Experiences: Les Miserables then In the body you could put how it was ask if anyone saw it or etc. It can be about anything. You don't have to routinely do it, and everyone can start now. I'm about to kick it off!

I wish the world was flat like the old days so we could travel just by folding a map, no more airplanes or speed trains or freeways, there'd be no distance that could hold us back.There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

Thumbs up if you know what song this is! Hapy new year!!!!!!!!

*Hint death cab for cutie...guess in the comments
**bonus points for guessing the album!

Goodbye to the worst year ever and hello to a new doorway with fresh starts. My plans for next year: yoga,swim,exercise, meditation,healthy eating,and to be more social, and to get into Whitney Young's 7 and 8 program. Highlights of this year:...realized I'm bi?...uhhhhh....made friends?(this year sucked ass) Hope you guys our enjoying yourselves!!
Never let them take you alive! And enjoy the Doctor Who marathon on channel 264!!!

I am typing this on my new tablet which is much faster than my usual! Hope you all had a merry Christmas!!!!! Awkward moment today when my mom told my dad to ask the meaning of my rainbow color fingerless gloves. I know rainbow symbolizes gay pride, that was the point, I'm just not ready to tell my family I'm bi. Anywhoddle I had an awesome Christmas and right now I'm watching clue. Stay beautiful, keep it ugly:D merry fucking Christmas.

~Nightmare

Merry Christmas my lovelys!!!!! I got a rainbow unicorn pillow pet!!!! I actually genuinely love unicorns!!!!!!!! HIS name is Sparkles Razzle Dazzle Rainbow l'fleur! Does anyone else watch gaysoftheweek?

When I was, a young boy, my father, took me into the city, to see a marching band:)