Menacing_Venom's blog

This is my baby brother! He's 4 and does a very cute version of Welcome To The Black Parade, Helena, Na Na Na and I'm Not Okay xD

Oh yeah, I also got bored while washing the dishes so we had a bubble fight. Which I won ^_^

WARNING RANT. But I'm more upset by this than angry so... meh is it a rant? who knows...

Anyhoo. I am so shy. I like can't talk to anyone face to face with out staring a fucking black hole into the ground. But on my school bus there's this boy. I have too admit he's a little bastard, he's homophobic, he's racist, sexist, attention seeking just really plain annoying. But recently him being picked on every so often (and yeah, most of the time even I would agree he deserved it) has grown to people stealing his stuff, punching him til he cries and then proceeds to mock him. I was in tears (silently of course) as I watched people be cruel to a 12 year old boy and I sat there, and did nothing like the pathetic person I am.
So today I managed to stand up for him and quietly talk to him, telling him how horrible it was for me to watch.
(part of the convo)
Me:"... and watching them hit you yesterday was actually breaking my heart. I hate seeing anyone in pain or upset."

...that my song I posted earlier is shite. I shall leave it to talented people.

...Scotland, is crap at most sports. (but we all knew that)

...I really wish I was over 16 to go see BMTH in Glasgow in Dec.

...I really don't give a fuck about life, school, my well-being.

...That I still really don't want to see a fucking psychologist (1. They scare the shit outta me and 2. I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to cut. It's my body.)

...I WANT MY FUCKING IPOD BACK!! (I'm finding it hard too deal with 300 songs when I has over 1000 and more that I was going too buy before everything fucked up)

So yeah... my thoughts for today, and most days. I'm not that interesting xD

This is the first song I've ever written, I'm unsure whether I like it or not. Someone please tell me if it's any good or utter crap. I don't mind, I just want an opinion.

A Real Spark

These demons, these nightmares, these foxes
They all attack, they all attack
These feelings, These liars, these toxins
They all attack, they all attack

When the walls come crashin' down
When the blood spills on the ground
The tears they fall, one by one
When you're left in the dark
Without a real spark
The tears they fall, one by one

This venom, this sin, inside of my veins
It's a poison, a fucking poison
This razor, cutting causing my shame
It's a poison, a fucking poison

When the walls come crashin' down
When the blood spills on the ground
The tears they fall, one by one
When you're left in the dark
Without a real spark
The tears they fall, one by one

These attacks, this poison, These attacks, this poison,
consuming our lives

...That I completely fail. I said I wasn't going to moan anymore! :L haha! lasted bout 2 days... ma bad :/ I'll try harder to stop complaining...

I hate this, I really want to be in a relationship! I want someone that I can go too, spend time with and give me an actual reason too stick around in this fucking world! I know how horrible this sounds but my family, is not enough for me to actually continue living. I guess I have you guys but really... I just want a hug and someone telling me they love me... God I sound majorly fucking desperate but I'm just so sad!

"Scars are there, Visible or not"

The long dire days, the cold sleepless nights
Fake a smile "I'm okay", voice breezy and light.
My blue checkered shirt, my red checkered skin
Underneath is all but dirt, I'm nothing but a sin.
My sore aching heart, pumping blood to be spilled
At crossroads path do part, so confused begging to be killed.
Crimson secrets carved at night, the silence is too loud
Paling marks out of sight, I am no longer within a crowed.
They point, laugh the fun they make, disgusting me to my core
Ignoring they sigh "God sake", my opinion is tore.
The guilt building feeling it's weight, much like it's cousin the dark
Is this what has become my fate? Alone in the world without a spark.
That candle you once held, though you've dampened the wick
With out provoke I cried and yelled, physically feeling sick.
I have told my lies, never any like you
I thought you were a prize, you said you'd see me through.

This is like one of my favorite songs. It's the kinda one you listen to when your really angry or upset, for me my usual moods so this is consistently blasting out my speakers. :L Thought it might be a use to a few killjoys that maybe haven't heard it... :)

So like I said earlier, I've decided to try and control my emotions and depression n shit and stop spewing them on top of you guys cause well it's not very fair cause you've all got your stuff to deal with you don't really need me depressing any of you further. So am gonna try and stop drowning you all with my pathetic little life...

Happy Post #1: This is my collage made out of Kerrang! cut outs of rock bands that have ever given me a little hope over the past year, Obviously there's MCR, (they practically dominate it!) but there's also Linkin Park, BVB, Falling In Reverse, Rise Against, BMTH, Lostprophets, Simple Plan... yadayadayada... I'm pretty proud of it amd thought about sending a picture of it too Kerrang! as well. What do you guys think?

(BTW for those who don't know, Kerrang! ia a UK rock magazine.)

Okay so for a while now I've been posting really depressing, whiny, stupid blogs. I don't know why but this year's just been really shite. Though I've realised that you guys don't need my issues to deal with cause most of you guys will have something going on and you don't need to be reading my blogs to make you feel worse. So I'm gonna try for as long as I can to control my emotions/depression... yadayadayada and stop taking up your time.
I'm not sure whether this is right or not but I'm still gonna try to blog about slightly more light hearted stuff. This will probably mean I'm blogging less, not that anyone's really gonna notice, but yeah. Sorry for being such an ass xxxx *huggles all killjoys*