Well lately i have been getting no inboxes no nothing even on facebook i'm feeling so alone i know i really am not but i just cannot shake the feeling that nobody actually likes me anymore i used to have lots of friends but since i stopped hanging around with them i only have what like 3-4 best friends and only a couple of close friends Inbox me please i need someone to talk too.
Well this morning i decided to tell my friend about the crap i went through during the holidays like how depressed i was that i wanted to kill myself that sorta stuff that most of you guys would know about it but i had only ever told one over person in real life so im like to myself "If i'm going to tell her everything now i sjould tell her about my past." So That's what i did she didn't reject me or make fun of me she was actually really shocked and i told her why i stand up for MCR which is they saved my life literally and if someone says something bad bout them i will do whatever it takes
Well yesterday i was going through my old shit and i found my old notepad it had all these things i wrote ages ago i can't believe i was ever so depressed and unhappy with my life that i thought that i was alone that no one understood me and now im living a good happy life it actually feels like a completely different lifetime.
Well lately the only thing i have been thinking about is forming a band and touring the worlld. I know i probably will not do but a girl can dream right?? I don't wanna be one of those fake mainstream bands i want to real , Inspiration and to be me to do that i have to do music. The only problem is i know no one who plays any instrument so that kinda sucks but i won't give up!
The past few days of my life have been the worst so far.On Monday we were making a video for our kinder buddies to watch and the teacher said to pick backup music and said to me no MCR then i said"well that sucks then they'd be better than one directionThen Zoe & Molly said that more people like one direction than MCR i was like HELL NO!!!! ask me any question you want to know about MCR then everyone turned around and asked why are they so goth why are they so emo?? over and over again why would someone write a song called Na Na Na?? i had enough of it so i looked them in the eye and shouted
Well last Saturday i had my birthday party and i invited one of my friends Molly and she's like a directioner and i had one direction in the playlist as well as MCR and each time one of my favourite songs came on she'd turn it onto On Direction and i put up with this for about half an hour and i got really pissed and then I'm Not Okay came on and she changed it and i got so pissed off i kinda yelled and said this to her IT'S NOT YOUR FUCKING PARTY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!! STOP CHANGING THE GODDANM SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then i stormed out of the shed and into the front yard only about 10 of the seventeen
Okay so lately i've been thinking i feel likke i have betrayed all of you because like i became a part of the big popular group and i didn't mean too i don't blame any of you for hating me and i don't plan on becoming bithchy and i also have started listening to One Direction Oh god wtf is wrong with me!I don't think i deserve to even know any of yous you are all just amazing and i thank you for showing me your stories and letting me become part of your lives i still love MCR to death but i don't think it would be right for me to even be apart of this thanks for having the time to read this
So some of my friends got into a huge fight i had taken sides with one of them and then things got really bad and she said she was going to kill herself but obviously wasn't being serious and i went off my head i shouted at her DON'T JOKE ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF YOU KNOW YOU WON'T!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUB HAVEN'T GONE THROUGH HALF THE SHIT OTHERS HAVE SO SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but seriously it annoys me so much then my dads said my sister was emo and suicidal when she wasn't god i lost my cool again then i said to him emo is about emotions not looks and she is not
Okay so my teacher started to get me to write this thing at the start writing at the start of the year to see how good i was at writing so now i'm year 8 in writing which is like 2 above my grade but that doesn't matter well to follow up the writing she asked me to write a song cause she knows i love music and stuff so today i started writing it i got to pick to write bout anything so i chose something personal and when i was sitting in the corner i started crying thart might sound babyish but i was writing bout my uncle who past away 4 years ago we wre very close he was the only one who
Okay so lately i've been singing a lot more and i started to believe ever so slightly that i may be good at it and then my dad just had to bring me down again i was singing I Don't Love you and my dad said to me can you stop singing it's annoying and for once i actually thought i would of been good at it way to bring my self confidence down! All i wanted is for someone to tell me they love me for someone to actually care about what i believe in for someone to tell me i'm good at singing and now i'm just back to thinking i'm nothing again nobody loves me and that i'll be forever alone.