Mcr-Freak24's blog

In the past weeks since I had gone to the mall with Jess and the guys, both me and Jess dreaded each school day. Simply because of this: it turns out that those preps from Claire's that mobbed us at the mall that day ALL went to our school. That means that ten people in our school, who we already hated, and were very popular, witnessed me and Jess offically becoming Mikey and Gerard's girlfriends. The only thing that got us through the day was the thought of them picking us up from school at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong, all our friends were glad for us because they saw how happy we were with them. But we were getting mixed messages from the rest of the kids in our school. Some of them were desperate to be our friends just so they could meet My Chemical Romance. Others hated us for being with them. And others were so jealous it was sickening.

BEEP,BEEP* You slowly open your eyes, to see the sun shining through your window blinds. You alarm clock is beeping louder now, and is getting really annoying. So you slam you hand down, and it stops. " I hate mornings" you say and roll out of bed. You have school, you like to have lots of time in the morning, so you can pretty much walk really slow and not have to worry about being late for school. But you did not realize, it was 8:30 and school starts at 9:00!! " SHIT" you scream and quickly run into the bathroom. You hair was greasy and it was tangled, you had no time to wash it. Also it was the first day of school, at a new school! You moved from B.C in Canada, and ended up moving to Belleville, which is in the U.S. You remain in the bathroom, for about 4 minutes until you exit and grab some old jeans and a black hoodie. It was about 20 to 9, and so you ran down stairs and grabbed your 88 shoes and ran out the door, but not before saying bye, and grabbing you backpack.

Some of you might not understand why I`m posting this, but just know that I have my reasons.

To everybody out there who is thinking about comitting suicide, dont you dare! Dont you dare to end your life, just because you can. Suicide is never the answer. Never! And dont tell me that I dont understand, because I know I dont. How can I understand someone who is not myself. But I know a thing or two from experience.

I know what its like too feel low, to feel wothless, to feel like it is not worth it anymore. I know because I have been there. I know the feeling of wanting to end your life, I know it. But I never did, I could not do it. Some might ask why, and I have a very simple answer: I have a little sister.

I could never do that to her, never! I know life can be hard, and I know that it sometimes feels like its not worth it anymore. But trust me when I say that somebody care! Somebody would be crushed if you were gone, trust me. Keep fighting to stay alive, because you cannot give up, dont you dare to give up.

I also know what its like to be left behind. I lost my dear friend, I lost her. She could not deal with life anymore, so she ended it. And I would do anything to have her back. It has been almost two months, and I still cry. To those who think siucide is a romantic thing... Its not.

It is so much pain for the people who are left, it is so much confusion, so much hurt, so much sorrow. It breaks me down, it tears me up. And I will never do the same as her. Because I feel the pain of losing her, because I will never make people hurt in the way I am hurting now.

So to everybody out there, who is thinking about ending your life. Dont you dare, dont you fucking dare!

I will always love you, my dearest friend. "I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk"