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My horse Lycan. <3

I got to go see my horse yesterday. She looks pretty good right now, and based on how she looks, there is a chance he may be pregnant... which is both good and bad. Good because it would be amazing to have a baby horse from her. Bad because she is somewhat tempermental as it is, this would become even worse if she were to have a baby.

Today's been a bit rough, and I'm confused about a few things. I am tired, and I don't like being stressed like this. I just wish everyone would say exactly what they're thinking, and exactly how they feel about things. I stress out when I don't know what's going on... it's simply who I am.

Tomorrow, there is a slight chance we're going to go to the movies. Dee, Cass, and I are going for sure. JJ might get to go as well, and we're going to invite Michael to go. JJ and Michael may not get to go though. I hope they get to, it will be nice to spend time with them all. Just to have an evening out with them.

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I Believe I May Move Out.

Congrats mother, congrats father. I now want to move out. I hope you're content. I'm tired of you two doing this shit. Just grow up, it's not impossible to stop taking medicine, to stop snorting pills up your goddamn noses. Just stop it. I keep my promises to you two. I don't shit, if I tell you two something, I do what I say, I keep my word. You asked me to not party and drink at college, I don't do those things. Yet you two can't keep the damn straws our of your nose long enough to be decent human beings. Carmen, you crossed a line today. What you did wasn't right, in any aspect of the term right. I can see how my future is going if I stay home. I don't like it. You're going to cost me everything good in my life, and it's not like there are many good things in my life as it is.

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I Believe I May Move Out.

Congrats mother, congrats father. I now want to move out. I hope you're content. I'm tired of you two doing this shit. Just grow up, it's not impossible to stop taking medicine, to stop snorting pills up your goddamn noses. Just stop it. I keep my promises to you two. I don't shit, if I tell you two something, I do what I say, I keep my word. You asked me to not party and drink at college, I don't do those things. Yet you two can't keep the damn straws our of your nose long enough to be decent human beings. Carmen, you crossed a line today. What you did wasn't right, in any aspect of the term right. I can see how my future is going if I stay home. I don't like it. You're going to cost me everything good in my life, and it's not like there are many good things in my life as it is.

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Help?

Okay, I really need help with something. A friend of mine has been recieving messages from a girl who claims to be in love with him. Perhaps I am crazy, and wrong, but I believe it's fake. So many things about her seem unreal, and well... like lies. Her story doesn't make sense. I believe his ex made a fake account to try to fuck with his head, and to mess with him still. It's bothering me a lot. I need to know if there is a way for me to find out for sure, without getting the person to admit it. I get a very bad feeling from it all. Is there a website to find out if a picture is being used on multiple websites? I need to know if she's real or not... I think his ex has been fucking with his head, by getting her friends to help her.

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An Awkward Thing to be Jealous of... Lmao.

Well tonight I realized I'm jealous of my boyfriend's video game... I'm jealous of his xbox live, and Halo. Lmao. For two reasons. 1.) I fucking love Halo, and I never get to play it... and he does. 2.) Halo steals him. xD Haha. I'm seriously going to have to purchase an xbox this summer, so people will stop rubbing it in my face that they get to play and I don't... t'is not fair. xD Haha. Given, I do suck some serious balls at playing Halo. I'm pathetic at it... but I do like playing. xD Plus, his and my friend who he always plays with says I need to get it cause he wants me to play with them. xD

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Already...

It's not even Monday yet, and I'm already wanting it to be Friday. This Friday, Cassie and I will be coming in, to bring most of my belongings home from Concord. She, Sutters, JJ, and I will possibly be going to see my horse that evening. :) I'm super excited. xD JJ also wants us all to play an adapted game of "triple dog" which... should be fun. Haha. xD

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What is love?

What constitutes love?

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An Amazing Day.

Today was pretty amazing... first day hanging out with JJ as more than a friend. It was... fun. I kissed him for the first time, and it was... kind of amazing. Sutters spying on us through the door was also pretty funny. xD Made me laugh a bit, for sure. I guess, I'm hoping everything with JJ and I goes well. I'm afraid of getting hurt... but I do trust him.

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Music...

Home for the weekend, and I'm rather bored. I believe I'm going to drown myself in music, and the pages of "The Hunger Games" since I now have it. I've been wanting to read the series, and today my bubby John gave me the book as a very early birthday gift! :)

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Almost summer...

It's at last almost summer break. I have two more weeks of classes, and then I get to go home for summer. I look forward to it, as I've been here at Concord for far to long now! :) I get to go home tomorrow for a weekend. I'm hoping I get to see JJ, and Sutters tomorrow. It would be amazing to spend some time with them.... I believe it would do me a lot of good to just spend time with them, get my mind on track!