maymay_10's blog

So, my friends and I went to Apple Bees tonight for dinner, to hang out... well.. after Joanna went to the restroom, some old man turned to the table Alicia and I were sitting at, and asked if I would like to join him at his dinner. O_o My reaction... no thank you... *thinks to self* CREEPY! After Joanna came back, Alicia whispered to her what happened since he was at the table right beside of us... and they both got a nice laugh out of the situation... I haven't been that freaked out/creeped out since the old man at Spencer's grabbed me... what's with me and old creepy men???? O_O I mean for real people? haha Alicia kept mentioning that she had a stun gun in a slightly loud voice... I think he scared her a little bit. Hahaha. When we left, she kept saying it was cause of my boobs... lmao she said they would one day rule the world... what would I do without my crazy ass friends making awkward things funny? xP lol I thought it was funny...

I feel weird today... kind of emoional. More so than usual. -__- It's a bit annoying. I'm upset for no reason at all... other than I'm upset. I have nothing in particular to be upset over... in fact, today has been pretty good... not perfect, but still good. I want to cry, and just lay in bed... the only thing I can think about is how I have no clue what I want out of life... as soon as I think I know I want something, I talk myself out of it. I'm just so... fucking confused about everything in my life right now. I feel as though I should end this blog on a happy note... Most of my classes are going very, very well. I would even go to the extent of saying that I love 3 of my classes this semester. Hope everyone is having a good day. xoxo <3

It's a little after 3am... I have to be up by 8am to get ready for my classes in the morning. I'm blasting MCR in my ears, and writing down random song lyrics in my quote book. Considering getting ready for bed, even though I'm not even slightly sleepy. I need to sleep... I need to fix my sleep schedule. I'm always tired, but I can never seem to sleep. I'm to nervous... and I feel sick anyhow... I think I have a head cold or something. On the plus side, all of my classes have been going very well... some things could be better, but over all, I can't complain. Which is always nice. Plus, I've made a few new friends... which is always lovely. :) (: I guess that's really the only thing I have to say... I've been rather boring here lately. Nighty night Killjoys. Hope all is well. xoxo <3

So, this year, I am on the writing staff of the Concordian. My University's on campus newspaper. I am currently looking through piles of papers, interview notes, and random prints of information, so that I can complete my first 600 word article which is due Saturday at 12am. I am both excited and terrified. I'm so worried this isn't going to be good enough. I know how to write this article, but I keep telling myself I'm doing it incorrectly. So far I'm nearly 150 words into writing it... which is a decent start I suppose... I really want to do well on this... it is after all my future if my life goes accoring to plan. Journalism. Tomorrow I have another even I have to go cover and write an article about. I also still havee math work tonight, and a paper for my actual Journalism 220 class. So much to do... it seems as though there's not enough hours in the day to do all of the things I need to complete. -__- So, guess who's not getting any sleep at all tonight...

I feel very miserable tonight... I should feel amazing... today's been pretty good actually... possibly even perfect. I'm not sure what's up with me tonight. I just feel like laying in my bed and crying. <.< I hate when I feel like this. It's been a while though, maybe that's a sign that it's slowly going away... whatever it is. My iPod isn't helping much. It's on shuffle, and it seems to be dead set against playing non sad songs tonight. I think I may read some... talk to a few people, then go to bed. Maybe I'll be happy tomorrow? It's possible... I guess... I hope... Night killjoys. I hope you all feel better than I feel today. <.<

I'm at my friend Cassie's house for the weekend. :) I must say, I'm having a pretty good time spending time with her. :)(: I'm listening to Bulletproof Heart right now, thus explaining the title of this blog. Haha I'm really excited about next weekend, even though I'm not complet's gely sure what I'll be doing. I'm pretty sure it's going to include hanging out with DeAnna, Michael, JJ, and possibly Sutters... I kind of hope that's the case, as I kind of miss seeing all of them. Having friends to laugh and act stupid around. It'll be nice if I get to see them all, and spend a day or so hanging out with them. |>(^__^)<| I just have to survive until Friday at 4ish, that's when mom and dad will be at the college to pick me up. xD Ahhh, I'm so happy! Haha I love my trips home. :)(: They always cheer me up somehow... not that I'm sad or anything, I just get a little bummed out sometimes being so far from home. So everytime I get to go see peoples, it makes me really happy.

I'm kind of bored. Sitting in my room, reading some poems so I can start my Diagnostic essay. (: I get to write an explication of one of the 4 poems I was required to read. I have a lot to do tonight. I have my Bio reading assignment, notes to take. I also still have to go to my Journalism class today at 4, and it lasts till 6:30. I still need to figure out when I'm going to eat today, hell, I need to figure out if I'm actually going to eat today. I might not get to. The cafe opens for dinner at 4, and they close at 7. I probably won't really have time to go there... ah, worst thing that will happen is I'll not get to have dinner, and I will just eat dinner tomorrow night instead. Not to bad. ^^ My mind's still full of annoying thoughts that need to go away. -__- I'm starting to annoy myself a bit. My dad will be so proud, he used to always calls me a emotionless, heartless person. Hahahahaha! I guess he was wrong. I am actually starting to care about some of my friends.

Today was a long ass day. It was a good day though. I went to bed at like 4am last night. I got offline at 3, but my roomie plays music or she can't sleep, so I ended up not being able to fall asleep. I woke up at 7am, to get ready for class. My first class was Bio, I think that class will give me the most trouble this semester. After that, I came back to my room, ate half of a poptart, and layed around until it was time for my Writing About Literature class, which started at 12. I believe that will be one of my favorite classes this semester. :)(: After this, I went and got a coffee and a muffin, then returned to my room until it was time for my History class. That was at 2. Then at 6:30, I went to the cafe for dinner, I ate a turkey and swiss sandwich, and drank a Mountain Dew. After that, I hung out with some new ppl, and drank another coffee. Now I'm in my room, thinking about random things, and writing cute quotes in my journal.

Okay, last night was an interesting night. A friend (also the guy I like), talked to me last night. He asked me if I would have let him kiss me when we were hanging out... I told him yes, and then he told me that he was just wondering because he had wanted to kiss me... I told him that I kind of wanted him to. It got a little awkward after that, he asked me when I would be coming back in from the college for a break. After I answered, we just started talking about randomness... So it at least wasn't awkward then. I was really afraid it would get weird after the whole "kiss" conversation. Being an awkward person, I'm not 100% sure what to say when I see him now. I know, I should be the same way I've always been... that won't be difficult at all... that will actually be rather easy. It's just... should I pretend that conversation never happened? I mean if he wants to talk about it, he will bring it up when we hang out with our friends right?

There was a wonderful Killjoy by the name of LisaisaUnicorn who posted a very sad blog entry saying "goodbye." WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!!!! I SAY WE SIGN THIS AND REPOST TO SHOW HOW MUCH WE CARE ABOUT HER AND WANT HER TO CONTINUE LIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love her and she should not even THINK about EVER taking her life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE HELP SAVE THIS KILLJOY!!!!!! <3

Signatures! <3

1:BulletproofRevenge (LOVE YOU! STAY STRONG!)
2: Raven Candy (WE ALL LOVE YOU PLEASE STAY WITH US)
3: black riot (MCRmy's always there for you!)
4: Black Unicorn ( Stay strong, It will get better)
5: Jill The Ripper (Don't give up hope. Keep laughing, keep living.)
6. MillieD xxx
7. Huw Edwards (Every little helps) ;) x
8. Deathwisher85
9. Transmission Solar
10. Avenging Jester
11. Baby Poison
12. Catastrophic Plague (The MCRmy needs you! We all love you!! <3)
13. Detonation Destroya ( Don't give up, it gets better, you just have to stay strong!)