maymay_10's blog

Hmmm, ever had a friend who was really bad for you? Like their mood could change the way you feel drastically? If they're happy, you're happy. If they're miserable, you're miserable. I have one. It's not a good thing. -__- I need to get some things sorted out in my life. lol

So, I've decided my life is a giant journey about trying to solve who I am. I think I'm getting close to the answer finally. I am, a 19 year old University student who wants to be a Journalist. I would love to write a book. I'm confused, awkward, geeky as fuck. I say fuck far to often. I'm typically depressed, but I have good days, and when I'm happy, I'm very happy. I love dying my hair, and my horse is my best friend. I'm emotionally damaged, I don't believe in true love. I'm somewhat pessimistic. I always act happy, and I have some friends who would do anything in the world for me... I have others who I would be better off without. I feel weak when I cry, yet I sometimes crying makes me feel better... I am, a walking contradiction. xD This, is who I am as of 10/19/2011. ^______^ Also, on a side note. I need some more music to listen to. If at all possible, could you comment with some bands to listen to? Please and Thank you! :)

ToastPop.com is a magazine my friend started. I am his Co-editor, and I am in charge of the arts section of the magazine. I need some people who would be willing to have a short article about their art, as well as an image of them and their art. Literature; poems, short stories, anything musical, drawings, etc., send me a message if you are interested in this!
I seriously need some people to feature!!!! xD

I've apparently changed. I mean I know I've changed in slight ways... I'm more outspoken, and I no longer let people walk over me, I stand up for myself. How is this a bad thing? One of my friends from home starts things everytime she's in a pissy mood, I usually laugh it off, and ignore it. This time, I simply told her that it was shitty that she was being a bad friend to one of my friends, because they were being a good friend to me. I deleted her from social networking sites, and decided that I have enough to deal with, without fighting with her. Now, her sister, one of my friends, is talking about how I've changed. Isn't it good that I'm no longer letting people bother me, breaking my fucking back to fix things that aren't worth fighting for? I give up, fuck life. >.<

So, I dyed my hair red... once again... whenever I feel lost, this seems to be the color I go back to... It's been red off and on for over 3 years now... xD

Hello, how is everyone? ^^

I'm not sure how I manage to land myself in this position; the friend zone. Yet once again, I've done just that. The guy I like, is a friend of mine, and somehow, talking to me all of the time, has made me, not a person he would go on a date with, but rather, I am the friend he goes to to ask "do you have any friends I could take on a date?". I must say, it was something of a disappointment to be asked that. I'm honestly starting to think that there is something about me, that makes me non-dateable! LOL Seriously, guys like being my friend, but none of them seem interested in anything other than a friendship. I mean I'm starting to think there is something legitimately wrong with me. Do I give off some kind of vibe that stops guys from being able to be interested in me? I mean I know my friend likes hanging out with me, talking to me, I know I make him laugh, I listen to everything he needs to talk about, and he talks to me when he has problems. Just like all of my guy friends do...

Tonight's the night I accept defeat,
Yes the night I'll forfeit my seat.
I seen your confession,
I now give away my session.
With you words came the clouds and they brought the rain,
Now I've lost hope and my heart' s full of pain.
You gavr me a reason,
On my heart you commited treson.
For you I wish nothing but happiness,
For now I've lost all of my trusting-ness.

I seen something... it made me kind of sad, so instead of letting it keep me sad, I used it to be artist... seeing as art is the weapon. xD

Let me know how bad it is killjoys!!

Tomorrow is going to be terrible... I have a Biology test... it's over 9 chapters of information... I hate Biology! No matter how much I study, this stuff doesn't make sense to me! I honestly don't think I can pass it! :( FML! FML! >.< Fuck you Biology! haha On a brighter note, I'm having breakfast with Megan, Lindsey, and maybe Alicia in the morning... I'll of course be the nerd reading a huge ass Biology book at the cafe! xD Hahaha :) Also... I've got to start eating more. I'm back to hardly eating anything at all... and that's not healthy at all... though I honestly should lose a bit of weight... still though, hardly eating anything at all isn't healthy! xD haha Universiy life is stressful. The main reason I don't eat a lot, is I honestly forget to go eat. I don't remember till the cafe is already closed! xD hahaha

So, today I went to Spanish Club so I could take notes, and so I could interview some of the members for the newspaper... I am now a member of Spanish Club. Thanks Courtney. I'm not really sure how this is going to go... but I will now be using Spanish as often as I can... considering how bad I am at Spanish... I have a feeling my Spanish speaking friends are going to get a lot of laughs out of this! xD Hahaha I also feel as though I should say sorry to my fellow Killjoy, myy best friend, and mi hermanita Fatima. She's going to be reading so many messed up Spanish things it's not funny. You're the best sister ever Fatima! I love you. Te amo hermanita. (Also... dear fellow Killjoys... if I attempt to post something in Spanish, and it's messed up... please, correct me. I'll never learn otherwise!)! :D YAY for Spanish! xD xoxo <3