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lostn'foundagain's blog

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:/ No matter what other people tell you, stay here.... You're loved...

On my way home from school today, one of my friends was really upset.... so she threw her phone across the road, ran over to me, and started crying.... I helped her to the sidewalk((I walk in the middle of the road like a dumbass))sat down with her, and just let her cry in my shoulder :( Know why she was crying? Fucking ASSHOLES at school keep telling her to kill herself!!! THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!! IDGAF WHO OR WHAT THAT PERSON HAS DONE, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TOLD TO KILL THEM SELF!!!! It pisses me off beyond more than anything when someone tells someone else to go hurt them self.... it's just so wrong... on so many levels..... If anyone ever tells you to kill yourself, then that person can just go to hell!! You don't need people like that in your life, cause all of you. Every last one of you, deserve to live..... You are loved... by me, by your family, by so many people.....

Thank you guys.

Thank you guys so much. This site has helped me through a lot. Especially of late. And I want to thank everyone that has ever taken time to glance at one of the titles or comment/message me... I love you guys. I have told you more of my personnel thoughts and feelings than anyone else.. <3 Thank You so much MCRmy, for being there for me.


Three small words... little meaning to some
I love you.
only you? How much love can you give to one person?
and what to do with that love,
when it's rejected....
Broken promises and lies.
that's all I am.
And now that's what I've made you.
You were strong before.
Now I've ruined you.
I ask you to look at me.
You say you love me.
I believe it. I disregard the past
and I believe in your love...
because that's all I have
to keep me living here...
All I have to dim my urges for pain...

I'm so lost in this world.......

i dont even know what im doing.... i continued texting him..... he says he still loves me.... but i dont believe it.....not after the things that went through my mind.... but i told him i still loved him... im sorry.. im just always so insecure... so fucked up and insecure... and sorry.... i can never apologize enough for the shit i have put everyone in my life through.... i am so... so very sorry.... I told him this... he's read my journal... he's read some of the shit that goes though my mind during the day.... it's horrible.... and i will never be able to apologize enough for putting him through that.... subjecting him to my own house of mirrors.... i need some sleep now... this time without the possibility of an overdose on sleeping pills.... i need some natural rest... goodbye all... for now...

Please help?

I did what you guys advised me to do..... I broke up with Aaron... turns out, the day he asked me out. we were sitting at the park WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!! And he asked me out RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER!!! THAT'S FUCKED UP!!!! Oh, and then today. HA!! Today was fucking GREAT!!! can you sense the sarcasm from there? i was quiet and reserved all during school, then i started to smile a little cause of my friends. On the bus ride home, i sat with Aaron, I hadn't made up my mind to break up with him yet. A song came on the radio and i started crying... not a single person noticed. good, i guess? so i was back to being depressed.... We got off the bus and he walked a few steps ahead of me with his friend while i walked with mine. i walked in the middle of the street and when a car passed by i screamed ""FUCKING HIT ME!!! GO ON!! DO IT!!"" then i started to tear up and hugged Bri(my friend)... The boys kept walking, and i started to sob.. like, violent sobs that make your entire body shake.

I'm an Idiot...

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I can't fucking hear anything

i was blaring my music as loud as it goes through my headphones.... now all i hear is a ringing that hasn't gone away for a whole 5 minutes.... how bad is that??

I should have never fallen.....

god... I don't even know what the fuck to say..... I signed onto my now ex boyfriends facebook profile.... and guess what i saw.... He's cheating on me... I should've fucking known.... I should've fucking taken the advice my friends gave me... never fallen for him..... FUUUUUCK!!! THIS FUCKING HURTS!!!!


Your world has a twisted view
of perfection...
You don't realize it...
How Beautiful you are.
from your face, to your soul.
My own sweet perfection.
Body size has never mattered,
and never will...
You are wonderful.
inside and out.
Yet, you never see yourself
in that way.
always judging yourself
hating your perfect form...
Putting yourself down,
hurting inside.
It's time to stop this.
Start seeing the beauty
in any imperfections.
Whose definition of "perfect"
are you striving for?
Not mine, never mine.
You're already perfect to me.
So chin up, see yourself from
a different perspective
love yourself
cause I love you <3