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No internet

I'm not going to have Internet or my IPod for a whole week.... :( Thankfully i can access this site at school, but it doesn't really matter, whether I do or not, I don't make very good conversation, My blogs are all depressing.... sooo....... I'm just letting those of you that care know that i'm not dead, yet... sadly, my heart's still beating...
<3 love ya'll <3


I can't live in this darkness....
it invites my demons over for dinner,
and I'm the feast....
they feast on my love,
my lack thereof....
my pain,
and i can't gain
any ground
against them.....

I'm nauseated,
my head is a balloon.
empty, full.
full of emptiness.....
empty of fullness

not making sense,
lost in this world
of thought
of anger
and depression
of wanting to end it.....

Poetry Requests??

Soooo.... idk.... I'm still thinking about doing these... gain some practice... I haven't gotten any lately, so if you all want one, I'm here.... :/

So this dance fucking sucks.....

So this dance is the fucking worst..... Fucking hate everyone here.... Whatever... These people are all assholes... I dressed up. Did my makeup. Got hyper. Now I wanna disappear. Was totally ready to dance with him. Have fun. And he ignored me the whole fucking time... Wow. People don't change... At all... I hate myself right now for believing that lie. But. You know how it goes. I'm a dumbass.


Soooo, Yea/...... Title says it all, it's that time of year, and I'm going with Aaron, I got to see him today XD 3:) we had fun lol. but yea, I'm leaving around 7:45 to get to the highschool, the thingy starts at 8. and, that's about it. I havent been very upset lately.. Thursday, I wanted to end it, but Aaron stopped me..... :( so, I'm better for now.
<3 i love you guys. You're my family, my army, and my friends <3

Fuck You Happiness.....

Why is it that every time I do something that makes me smile or makes me happy, everyone has to hate me? I mean, please! I can't please EVERYONE!!!! Try to cut me a little fucking break here! DX I'm SORRY OKAY!!!!!! IM SO FUCKING SORRY THAT I CANT BE HAPPY BECAUSE EVERY FUCKING TIME I AM EVERYONE HATES ME!!!!

I's so happy XD

I just got back from Horseback riding with ma friend Bri XD it was so much FUUUUUN!!!!!

Poetry Requests??

Okay, So... I'm going to start doing Poetry Requests, If anyone's interested.... I'll be uploading them after I do them, Sooooooo..... yea.. Send me Some Requests If You Want Some!!! ^.^ Here's one I did For Killjoy ThrillKiller

A name tattooed on my heart.
The name of the woman I love.
The woman I want to love forever.
Just her name, tastes like sugar
on my lips.
Her gaze; something i could swim in.
Forever and Always.
A promise I make to her.
The promise I will keep for her.
I can only imagine her kiss.
Softer than an Angel's lips.
Filled with a fiery passion.

Class Shit

yea, I'm with one of the "popular" kids..... :/ he's supposed to be my lab partner but as always, I'm stuck doing all the work...... blah... yup, He's off in the corner with his best friend and girlfriend, grabbing her ass..... :/ she's kinda hot too lol XD haha, I'm totally not hitting on her!! but yea... boredom.....

I'm STILL an Idiot.....

I took him back..... and I know he's a womanizer.... But i dont care... I really need something in my life.... I deserve to be one of those girl that gets cheated on.. that no one really notices... I deserve it for what I've done... How many people I've made want to kill themselves... I deserve it.. All of it, any pain he causes me, I deserve it....