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This Has Been a Wonderful Two and a Half Weeks!

Hey everyone,

These past two and a half weeks have been the biggest uplift since my grandfather's death! I've been to Memorial City Mall, The Woodlands Mall, and tried two new restaurants while spending some good time with my sister in law Brie and had some awesome tea parties with my niece Maddison!

Tomorrow is their last full day here and I am planning on hanging out with Brie tomorrow. I always have such a great time with her. And you will not believe what Maddison gave me tonight after we got back from my brother's house-GUMBY and POKEY Poseable and Bendable Figures!

Here's a picture. Hopefully you will be able to go to it because it's on my Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3473664397961&set=a.1768961581456...

Have a great St. Patrick's Day on Saturday and don't forget to wear GREEN,
-AJ

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Last Week...

Hey everyone,

Last week was a good week. I went to Memorial City Mall with my sister in law last Tuesday and bought THREE items for UNDER $20! I bought the "Radiosurgery" LP by New Found Glory for $8 on CLEARANCE(dang, that record is YELLOW!) and 2 wristbands; glow in the dark Paramore and "MCR IS RUNNING OUT OF SH*T(w/the spider instead) TO SAY ON A RUBBER BAND". I paid 19.99 EXACTLY!

And on Thursday, I went to the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo (RODEOHOUSTON) to see Lady Antebellum. Keep in mind, the only songs of theirs I've heard are the ones that circulate on the radio- so I was pretty unfamiliar with their songs. I LOVED it. They even played a song they wrote but did not put on their new album called "Hello World". It is a BEAUTIFUL song. I bought my shirt and this was their official stop on their tour!

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An Awesome Shopping Day!

Hey everyone,

I went shopping with my sister in law today! And guess what- she brought my niece Maddison with her! It was a TOTAL surprise when I opened our front door last night! We didn't go downtown to any of the record stores. I was mistaken about that. We stopped at Target, Old Navy, Best Buy, Ross and Half Price Books. Half Price is the only one that had records, but I was not as fortunate as the other day.

I got an iTunes card at Target which I've been needing to buy some songs I found. I thought I'd never see the day I'd put a Katy Perry song on my list of 1200+ items. We then went to Best Buy where I bought James Durbin's debut album and found Lykke Li's "Wounded Rhymes"! I've wanted it since last summer!

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Out of the Ashes

Hello everyone,

As those of you who have read my recent posts know, my grandfather died a week ago today. I've gone through three agonizing weeks hanging onto everything my parents say, answering phone calls from family around the state and my parents while at the hospital, going to the visitation and funeral and having one sentence repeated in my head nonstop.

Out of the ashes though, as I found out via Facebook Chat with my sister in- law last Thursday, she is coming into town from Germany this Thursday evening!

Then, on Friday, she and I will be going shopping at antique stores and for vinyl records! I'd gladly miss Mahjongg to spend the day with a sister I rarely get to see! Hopefully that won't be the only day it will be just us two can go out and do something. She's got a lot of family to see. I hope I can spend more than Friday with her.

Finally something positive,
-Siren of Destruction

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The Funeral

Well, the funeral wasn't that hard, and the only place I cried in the service, interment and lunch was when we sang Amazing Grace. You can feel the emptiness at the house. I felt it real good in the bedroom he slept in the past few months. I changed my shoes in there after the visitation, and I was able to see the walker he used, folded against the wall. I doubt anyone will sit in his place at the table for months to come.

I'm crying at the moment, but not uncontrollably- they're silent tears. Crying is good though. I'm sure people like my granny's friends from church and the cafeteria she used to work at will come by once in awhile. She has many people to talk to, and anyone in the family that lives in the city or an hour or two outside it, can visit her on weekends or call her.

Not okay but still doing fine,
-Allison of Houston

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Month Of Tragedy

Hello everyone,

This is a month of tragedy for my family and I. On Wednesday, February 15, my paw paw died. He was in hospice for 11 days. He hadn't been himself in quite a few months, so we knew he didn't have that much time. I'm glad it wasn't Valentine's Day.

Today is the visitation and the first time to see my paw paw since last week. He hadn't worn his glasses in awhile, so we're going to put those and his wedding ring on. This afternoon will be tough, but tomorrow will be even more difficult. Tomorrow is the funeral, and there's a big chance it will be raining. Several relatives from cities in the upper half of Texas are coming down today for the funeral tomorrow.

My family is very tough, so the tears won't come until tomorrow. He's the only grandfather I've known. If you so decide, pray for my dad, my uncles, and most of all, my granny. She is the one who will eventually be living on her own.

A somber February indeed,
-Siren of Destruction

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Still Not Totally Good News

Hey everyone,

My paw paw has been in the hospital's hospice for about four days including today, and has been in the hospital itself a week and a half as of last night. For once I ate a salad for dinner, but forgot the dressing haha.

Really the only thing they're giving my paw paw is pain medication and trying to keep him comfortable. The hospice level is on the level right above where he was at first. There is a 3 seat sofa and 2 high backed chairs in the room and a cabinet to put clothes and other things if you stay there overnight.

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Well, It's Official

Hey everyone,

It's official- my paw paw is not going back home. They are going to try a hospice. There's no way my paw paw is going to get better, so it's just as well we keep him at the state he's at. He's not going to go back home. There's no way my granny can do everything herself. It's not the best news, but at least he won't be in the hospital forever. That's all I really wanted to say.

Attempting to keep my same level of positivity,
-Siren of Destruction

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Well, Life Really Sucks At This Point In Time

Hey everyone,

It's about my paw paw again. He was going in for a EEG and doctor's appointment this morning, but he fell and hurt his hip last night. Thankfully it's only cracked, not broken. But this is still scaring the shit outta me. Just thinking about him falling scares me.

I mean, he's been in poor health for the past year at least. Sleeping most of the day, eating very little, having nearly no fat on his body and saying nonsense things like the radio being too loud when it's not even on. He even started talking to me like I was my brother when we were having a secondary Christmas after the New Year with my cousins since they were at his wife's family's on Christmas Eve.

Hey everyone,

How is it that an optimistic, positive person can have a fascination for all things violent? I like horror and gory movies, stories with violent events, death and depression, depressing songs. In my creative writing class my last semester which earned me my associate's degree, I wrote nothing but depressing stuff. My professor made a comment on a poem (it was the half with poetry and short stories) I turned in for homework on the fact most of my stuff thus far had been depressing and full of death.

There was a reason for the death since it was that semester that Jonathan had died, but for the rest...Why was my stuff so bleak? I find it weird. Now and then I'll write a little thing about getting a second chance at life and being sent back from Heaven, but that's rare. It's like my brain is bipolar- my realistic and positive part and my dark, bleak, dreary part which thinks DEATH BLOOD WEAPONS DEMONS CATASTROPHE FATALITIES MASSACRE.