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It Feels Weird

Hey,

I have something to admit. It feels weird that just as Fall Out Boy reunited, MCR split. It also feels weird to me when I think about my records and the DVDs. I was super sad when I read they separated because they had no real problems amongst themselves that would break them up. I've accepted it and now and then lately I think of memories associated with some of their songs.

I even look at my posters and realize they were the band I was most involved with. Sometimes when I sit down I don't know what to do because a lot of my free time had to do with them. It even felt weird putting my letter to Gerard in the mail because I did it AFTER the split.

Sometimes I have to think "Your life isn't dependent on them. Remember them, but don't stop living." And I have. It just feels weird not seeing any headlines about them anymore. I was a fan for five years, and it was a good five years. Now I just listen to the music and sometimes watch the good ole' interviews.

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What Did Texas Do Wrong, God? How Did We Anger You?

Hey,

I want to know....

WHY THE HELL IS ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENING AT ONCE! FIRST STABBINGS AT MY COLLEGE, THEN A FERTILIZER PLANT EXPLODES NORTH OF WACO! WHAT'S NEXT- MORE WILDFIRES THIS SUMMER; OR MAYBE A FLOOD?

Please God...WHY IS ALL OF THIS HAPPENING?! What did Texas do wrong? :(
-AJ

P.S. I don't usually ask God why stuff happens. This is also the first note I've written mostly in ALL CAPS.

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My Latest Dr. Appointment

Hey!

Today was my latest dr. appointment. That also means I was weighed again! And guess what? I lost 2 more pounds! I weigh 171! Since I started measuring my weight loss from 187(which was measured last August or so), I've lost 16 pounds! Hopefully, by the end of August, I'll have lost 20! That was my original goal after all...Then I can work on another 10-20!

Oh, and I am back on Twitter...Let's see how it goes this time...

-AJ

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Anyone Want To Explain The Ins and Outs of Twitter?

Hey,

As I said last night, I'm thinking about joining Twitter just to follow my favored musicians and other celebs (who are not attention whores, have common sense and actually did something legit to get famous). I joined it briefly before, but I never got the hang of all the @(insert name), hash tags and picture posting.

Anyone want to help me? Bitte (please)?

Danke and guten nacht (Thanks and good night),
-AJ

P.S. Shortest post ever.

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Thankfully None of the Victims From the Stabbing Have Died

Hey,

About that stabbing I wrote about on Gerard's birthday: none of them have died last I heard, so God is being nice this month. Good camping trip, good weekend and good results so far about the stabbing victims taken to the hospital.

And I've looked at a lot of the Twitter screenshots of some of Gerard's tweets through Tumblr, and some of them are just SO odd...I tried Twitter once but never got the hang of it. If anyone wants to teach me how to use hashtags properly, retweet and other stuff about it, I'll join it just to see what Gerard (and some of my other favored musicians) are up to concerning their music, side projects,etc...

So, if anyone wants to teach me the ropes, I'll usually respond to messages within a couple of days of receiving them. I'm also on Facebook if you want to teach me through the chat-just ask my name in a message.

So long and good night- 1 A.M. is my bedtime,
-AJ

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Two Contrasting Events: Gerard's Birthday...And a Stabbing at my College....

Heeeey,

Soooo, today was Gerard's 36th birthday. I hope it was nice. I hope he got nice presents. Seriously, how does he NOT age?! He doesn't even look 36! I don't get that...
Meanwhile in Houston, Texas, there was a multiple stabbing at my college.
Lone Star College Cy-Fair experienced a multiple stabbing today. 14 stabbed in the neck and face and 12 were taken to hospitals. 2 were okay enough to forgo treatment. I'm SO glad I no longer go there and that my mom wasn't able to go to her class this morning...What is it with students from the LSC campuses wanting to kill people all of a sudden? The North Harris one had a shooting in January!

So today I thought about Gerard's birthday instead...Happy is better than sad. Prayers to the families of the 2 still in critical condition.
I KNEW there was a reason I didn't want to get out of bed this morning.Happy 36th Gerard! Be glad you weren't in Houston.

Hope everyone's day was less traumatizing,
-AJ

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Anyone Ever Thrown Chapstick Into a Burning Campfire?

Hey,

I seriously mean that question. Anyone done it? My uncle did it at our family camp out Saturday night. First aluminum foil, then Chapstick haha. I went three places last week. First it was the Davis Mtns National Park. Saw Ft. Davis (named after Jefferson Davis himself) and LOVED IT. Went to the McDonald Observatory there as well- I got to move the 108 inch telescope! The University of Texas actually uses it as its official observatory.

Guadalupe Mtn State Park was excellent. I climbed one third of the Guadalupe Peak Trail to the tallest mountain in Texas. Out of the 3000 ft elevation gain, I did 1400 of it, going up to 7100 ft! That's the highest I've ever been on land! Houston would look SO miniscule from where I was at that moment!

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I Actually Feel Better

Hey,

The other day I was in such shock I cried (which I had never done over a band). I said it would be a little while before it completely sunk in. Well, I did some thinking today and made a decision.

Yes, they disbanded and it felt like I lost part of my family. But then I thought about THEM and how THEY would live after the band. They were asked what they would do if they weren't in the band. They each have their own thing to do and now they can live and exist like normal people.

I understand Gerard's long message better now too. I feel more at peace with it. It's not like one of those bands that breaks up because of an argument or whatnot. To me, MCR will be like The Beatles of my generation. This band saved my sanity, and citing the Grammy Museum interview: "If Gerard has a feeling, it's usually right" (not necessarily those words). He had a feeling it was time, so I trust in his decision. And he is SO right- MCR is an idea.

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Songs I Never Cried To Finally Made Me Cry

Hey,

I thought I was taking the split relatively well, but I cried to songs I've never cried to before.

Disenchanted and I Don't Love You were two of my favorites. I never cried while listening to them, but I cried to them for the first time yesterday! And why have I not cried to Professional Griefers yet? I have NEVER done that with ANY band I've listened to since I was 11. I think I've relied on them a bit much for my happiness.

I take deaths pretty well, but saying goodbye to these guys is the hardest farewell I've ever had to make. I feel as if I lost four big brothers (my brothers are much older than me). It's tough thinking about any of the stuff involving them. I deleted half my pictures since there's no point saving them all. It is tough writing this. I will miss them greatly.

Never stop running, don't be afraid to keep living and carry on,
-AJ

P.S. Look forward to the Killjoy comic this summer. I heard there's more Umbrella Academy in the future. :)

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Songs I Never Cried To Finally Made Me Cry

Hey,

I thought I had taken the split relatively well, but on Sunday it hit me that they really disbanded. The thought "MCR has disbanded" keeps running through my head. Yesterday I cried to songs I never cried to before.

Disenchanted and I Don't Love You were two of my big favorites, and they never made me cry. Yesterday when I played them, I cried for the first time. That has NEVER happened with ANY band I've listened to since I was 11. I think I relied on them for my happiness a bit too much the past few years.

I am a pretty tough person and take deaths very well, but saying goodbye to these guys is harder than anyone I've said farewell to. It feels like I lost four brothers (my brothers are much older than me). They were THAT special to me. I'm having a tough time typing this because I don't know if the site will stay or if I'll even visit in the future.

Never stop running, don't be afraid to live, and carry on,
-AJ