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LoneStar's picture

all things considered

So i guess i now know what it feels like to just "shut up and smile". It makes me feel like bashing my head on the wall. Which without thinking i actually did. Yea i know im stupid. Im very stupid. Sorry. But i guess its an accomplishment seeing as i was able to "shut and smile" through a whole conversation without snapping. Yay me.
I fucking hate myself. Its beyond words at this point.
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In other news i found out on CNN, someone invented a cup and straw that literally turns color at the presence of a date rape drug, or any other drugs in your drink. Im very happy that this has come out. It can save many many lives. So a personal thanks to the inventors.

LoneStar's picture

oh i cant wait

Bostone here i come!!! I cant wait even if i dont get accepted in to Boston University, im going outta state away from everyone here, away from this city. Ill miss some people, very few people. But honestly im home free after 2013.

*#*#*###*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

On other news my step-mom is literally bitching because my dad took me and my sister to the movies on Monday. (We saw The Conjuring… Awesome movie. Sick!!) But it seems like she is brimming with jealousy. Saying we always do things. Its been near 7 months since ive been to the movies. Like really.

Yippee. -_-

LoneStar's picture

sorry but its true

If music was a person, i would do anything in my power to make it love me as much as i love it.

It would be like Twilight fans after Edward Cullen.

(I have not watched the movie, i know the crap from my sister)

Sorry for the wierd post.

LoneStar's picture

my signature

I am__________…
I can be__________…
Because____________…
The others cant________…
But no one can__________… because_________…

I am (insert title here) and im a Killjoy.
I am unstopable.
So keep running.

*Blog your response if you choose to take the challenge*

LoneStar's picture

my signature

I am__________…
I can be__________…
Because____________…
The others cant________…
But no one can__________… because_________…

I am (insert title here) and im a Killjoy.
I am unstopable.
So keep running.

*Blog your response if you choose to take the challenge*

LoneStar's picture

my right of passage

So my parents are discussing whether to put me back into therapy or not before i move out for college.
I quote "we are thinking about it because we dont want you to continue down this messed up path youre on now."
So yea.... it didnt solve any problems the first 5 therapists i dont know what they think will happen now...
Just another sign that they think im a fuck up.
I know my step-mom is rooting for it. She has always thought i was crazy from the time i turned 8yrs old.

My last therapist wasnt bad but it wasnt like i wanted to go in the first place. I was sorta forced to like it since the school wouldnt accept me back until i got my therapy.
Every bit of anger i exhibit some no-brain ALWAYS responds with "you need therapy."

What i fucking need is my music and a big fuckin dose of happiness to battle my mental issues.

Im tired of it.

LoneStar's picture

my right of passage

So my parents are discussing whether to put me back into therapy or not before i move out for college.
I quote "we are thinking about it because we dont want you to continue down this messed up path youre on now."
So yea.... it didnt solve any problems the first 5 therapists i dont know what they think will happen now...
Just another sign that they think im a fuck up.
I know my step-mom is rooting for it. She has always thought i was crazy from the time i turned 8yrs old.

My last therapist wasnt bad but it wasnt like i wanted to go in the first place. I was sorta forced to like it since the school wouldnt accept me back until i got my therapy.
Every bit of anger i exhibit some no-brain ALWAYS responds with "you need therapy."

What i fucking need is my music and a big fuckin dose of happiness to battle my mental issues.

Im tired of it.

LoneStar's picture

its fucking pointless to go on

Um so i know i havent been on for a mere few hours. But as you know alot can happen in that time.
And in my case its never usually good.
At this point im on the brink of collapse and im not going to hide it anymore. Im not going to say i want to cut, OD, binge... im not gonna say any of it.

What i am going to say is that i accept the fact that i am both mentally and emotionally unstable. And why my parents must find every second of their day to taunt me about it is beyond me.
I.... i just entered this world of solitude because one word comes out my mouth is just an opening to more ridicule.

I will say though, that i honestly cant take it anymore. My body refuses to handle it and my mind has given up long ago.
I tell my bf that i dont want to and i wont marry him. I cant. I cant subject myself to another person who knows me enough to also shut me down, and insult me. I can do that all on my own.

LoneStar's picture

end all be all

Well i think.... im not sure, but i dont know how i feel about continuing WWMMB. Its all over with anyway. MCR has drifted. But what would be the point of WWMMB if we already have International MCR Day??
Im like 50/50 on it. It seems sorta minute at this point.
Its not like we dont love them anymore.

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*

On another note im going to stop blogging for a while. Drop off the site for a while.

*LoneStar out.*

LoneStar's picture

end all be all

Well i think.... im not sure, but i dont know how i feel about continuing WWMMB. Its all over with anyway. MCR has drifted. But what would be the point of WWMMB if we already have International MCR Day??
Im like 50/50 on it. It seems sorta minute at this point.
Its not like we dont love them anymore.

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*

On another note im going to stop blogging for a while. Drop off the site for a while.

*LoneStar out.*