LoneStar's blog Syndicate content

LoneStar's picture

i never got to tell you this

But i do know i post ALOT of suicidal, self hatred, bullsht on this site, and honestly i feel that i may be polluting this site instead of helping it. Im that type to "save all, but let myself falter" kind of person. I reach, i daydream, i wish, but i dont do. (Well in some cases if im motivated enough).

And i just wanted to tell you ALL that:
I Love You lil geniuses and artists and musicians and storytellers and motivativators and secret tellers. The hurt ones, the happy ones, the coping ones and the (yes) the lost ones lol (well all find our heads someday). I Love You guys to the max.

Also if any of you have KiK and want to message me outside the site just let me know and ill give you my user name.

*I trust you guys even more than my own shadow. (Hint hint )*

LoneStar's picture

pointless blog #2

I just feel like punching myself in the face.
I dont want to start school in 6 days.
My health is getting worse, thankfully i have my doctors appointment tomorrow.
Im tired all the damn time.
My head always hurts.

I just want to escape.

And crazy statement: i thinking about naming my different me's.
Im gonna end up in damn asylum soon.
I wish i didnt exist.

LoneStar's picture

i am the opposite of me

I seem to be screaming "Please!! Please save me!!!" And "Dont save me, I dont Care." All at the same time. How the fuck do you get the proper help if the only war youre fighting is against yourself??
Which one is the real me?
And which one is screaming the truth??

LoneStar's picture

wtf mtv?!?

Why the hell did they give 30 Seconds to Mars thier award BEFORE the show? They didnt get to appear on stage, perform a song nothing but talk to the "Thank You Cam". They were practically ignored the whole damn show, but i was forced to watch Mileys bullsht act?!?!? Since when was the Rock Genre not worthy of an appearance??
Seriously NO ONE from the Rock category appeared on stage!

Sorry for the rant but I watched the VMAs expecting to see them, and i wasted a whole hour on that.

LoneStar's picture

wtf mtv?!?

Why the hell did they give 30 Seconds to Mars thier award BEFORE the show? They didnt get to appear on stage, perform a song nothing but talk to the "Thank You Cam". They were practically ignored the whole damn show, but i was forced to watch Mileys bullsht act?!?!? Since when was the Rock Genre not worthy of an appearance??
Seriously NO ONE from the Rock category appeared on stage!

Sorry for the rant but I watched the VMAs expecting to see them, and i wasted a whole hour on that.

LoneStar's picture

what is left?

What is left to give when youve given all you got?
What is there left to look for when all is lost?
What is there to hope for when the hopeful one has died?

Maybe its the dreams weve forgotten to try.

Why look for the truth when we are living lies?
Why cry cuz of the pain when theres enough anger to go around?
Why scream for individuality when silence keeps us ground?

Because we are alive and we live for the sound.

+This may not make sense, but then again when does anything i say make sense?+

LoneStar's picture

what is left?

What is left to give when youve given all you got?
What is there left to look for when all is lost?
What is there to hope for when the hopeful one has died?

Maybe its the dreams weve forgotten to try.

Why look for the truth when we are living lies?
Why cry cuz of the pain when theres enough anger to go around?
Why scream for individuality when silence keeps us ground?

Because we are alive and we live for the sound.

+This may not make sense, but then again when does anything i say make sense?+

LoneStar's picture

imagine that

There is a person, more than one of me, in my head, tearing my sanity to shreds. There is that one person that i THINK is me, trying to collect all of those shreds. I.... feel like im being strangled on from the inside. I just want to curl up and disappear more than anything ive ever felt.

Ive been screaming and fucking wailing and crying and you would have never guessed it. I woke up this morning looking for my X-acto knife and disappointed in the fact i threw out weeks ago, thinking i was fucking done with my depression. Im so damn stupid in thinking it would EVER go away.

What the fuck is wrong with me??

And all i want to do now, is just the same old story youve been hearing from me for months. Im going to literally die if i dont find out what is wrong with me soon. Something is eating at me from the inside and i can get rid of it. Im ready to jump the gun and be done with it.

Im SO FUCKING TIRED!!!!!!!!!! Im.... tired...and done. And insane. And blabbering on.

LoneStar's picture

imagine that

There is a person, more than one of me, in my head, tearing my sanity to shreds. There is that one person that i THINK is me, trying to collect all of those shreds. I.... feel like im being strangled on from the inside. I just want to curl up and disappear more than anything ive ever felt.

Ive been screaming and fucking wailing and crying and you would have never guessed it. I woke up this morning looking for my X-acto knife and disappointed in the fact i threw out weeks ago, thinking i was fucking done with my depression. Im so damn stupid in thinking it would EVER go away.

What the fuck is wrong with me??

And all i want to do now, is just the same old story youve been hearing from me for months. Im going to literally die if i dont find out what is wrong with me soon. Something is eating at me from the inside and i can get rid of it. Im ready to jump the gun and be done with it.

Im SO FUCKING TIRED!!!!!!!!!! Im.... tired...and done. And insane. And blabbering on.

LoneStar's picture

i give up on it

So today my best frends girlfriend accused me of something and forced my best friend of four years to not talk to me anymore. So i lost one of the greatest people of my life because of a stupid, insecure, pshyco bitch. I dont care anymore to be honest. This bitch has done it to all her friends and wont allow her to talk to anyone except her. And she actually obeys her. So if thats the way we roll, then i dont care, im out of this fucked up town in a year anyway. I can survive a loss.

Like my parents said, friends arent forever.