I re-read Gerard's goodbye letter today. I started sobbing uncontrollably two sentances in. Im in the process of writing a song about it, but im still afraid. I know their love isn't gone, but its hard for me. I know, its hard for all of us. I found them when i was in a rough patch, about to undergo spinal fusion surgery that could have taken my life or mobility. I had no friends. I couldn't trust anyone. I never considered self harm, but looking back, im surprised i didnt. I look through old drawings and song book of mine from sitxth grade... i was an emotional wreck. MCR saved my sanity.
As im sitting here writing this, my entire body is shaking uncontollably. im cold even though im in three thick sweaters, sweat pants, wool slippers and gloves and my heater is blowing on me. My pupils are dilated my breathing isnt steady and i cant seem to focus my eyes... im lucky im even able to writ this. Im crying like a 2 month old, but silently in fear of waking my grandmother. I can't feel anything... my body is numb. I need them. I succeded at staying strong for four months... but i need them. Reality hit me. a great dream ruined. My heroes dissapearing. My sight fading.
CLICKY DE LINK FOR MY ALL NEW MCR RPG!!!!
1: does anyone have Gee's current mailing adress... if so could you please give it to me (we could share? :3 lol)
2: ok so theres this site... mychemicalromancefanfiction.com everyone please join!
3: WHO WANTS TO JOIN A YOUTUBE COMMENT WAR ON A BASTARD WHO WAS TALKING SHIT ON MCR?!?!?!?!
OK. So ive been through alot lately. But i gotta ask. Am I in LOVE?
I met a guy.
Methinks hes cute in that puppy kinda way.
I learn he likes MCR Slayer and all those wikid bands.
Me starts liking him.
Me finds out he's in love with my bff and thinks about Fashionably Late by FIR.
I can't get him out of my head.
When he smiles and says "Its gonna be OK." i get butterflies. I. Dont. Get. Butterflies.
I immediatley blush when i hear his name.
When i smile at him i have dimples. I dont even have the dimple gene. (yea you gotta have this resecive gene to have dimples... its retarded.)
My eyes go
*Sigh* i had a mental break down yesterday... My bestfriend (the one who got abused by her dad) is now in california. She been there since wednesday... but... she's in the psych ward. she has depression (no she doesnt) anxiety (nope) and has suicidal thought (nope.). shes on three different medications and they're putting her on Zolax. WTF man. She's never had a suicidal thought in her life! and they didn't even ask her. They saw scars and immediatly believed that it was because of suicidal thought. THEY WERE FROM HER DAD!
The hardest part of this is leaving her. I know its for the best but I'm going to miss her so much. I mean her dad beat the crap out of her, and she was forced to live with her grandmother until school let out. But now its summer break. She's leaving at 6 in the morning tomarrow to go to califorrnia permanently. i knew it would happen... but now its real and i dont know what to do.... its funny how anything that happens in my life can be related to an MCR song, isn't it? Oh well..... OH! yeah that's her in the picture.
The hardest part of this is leaving her...
Hey you guys, i've been through alot lately. But you guys know that. Do any of you remembe how i mentioned my best friend getting beaten by her dad? Well she's safe now, but my other frind, Angelica, got beaten by her Grandmother. I don't know why, but od or Satan or some other entity does NOT like me or any of my fiends right now.