What do they mean by 'the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead'? Is that like being really witty and sarcastic and stuff? That's always bothered me...
School. What more can i say than. IT'S A PILE OF CRAP! The summer holidays is over and now we're back. I went back yesterday and it was torture!! We had two assembilies. Why would they make us sit in two really long and boring assembilies when we could have been at home asleep? Why? At least i've had blood stuck in my head so i guess it's not bad. The Sharpest Lives is awesome.
I have a killer headache but i can't stop listening to Three Cheers. I'm going to pay in the morning but it's worth it. Today has been ordianry, so nothing to report there. I guess i'm only posting this because i'm bored. Sleeping as much as possible tomorrow. Happy first of the month!!! (Well, terchinacally it's already the second but who cares!)
See you later killjoys. Keep running and whatnot.
Well, though i'm nearly positive that hardly anyone pays attention to what i post, i thought i'd let you guys know how todays been.
Today was family picture day and they aren't the best. It's really fake and stupid because you are forced to look happy and as if you want to be there. I didn't smile. I detached myself from their feroucious grip for the rest of the day and spent some alone time with my 'Auntie' Sheela. She recently tried to kill herself and i wanted to see how she was doing without my mum stopping me from being myself. It was great.
It's really hard to concentrate when you're falling.
The pressures of life overflowing leaving you vacant.
Not there. Not really.
Sometimes, breathing is hard.
It's hard to remember that i'm not alone.
When my walls come tumbling down.
Leaving me empty and unable to carry on.
You pull through on one one thought.
'Think of all the people who loves you'
Well, the list grows shorter and my strength wains.
It's hard to carry on.
But i do.
I wish i could say there was someone up there waiting for me but,
Because it's not true.
It's really hard to concentrate when falling.
Okay, so i got bored and started writting my second story, even though i haven't finished my first. Can you tell me what you think?
“Ricky. Come on darling. It’s been three months.”
She had absolutely no idea, Ricky thought as he buried himself deeper under his cover. He couldn’t grab for the bottle because his mom was there so he had to deal for a moment. The drink made the pain go away, even if it was just for a little while.
“Ricky please!” His mom said as she pulled back the cover, exposing him to the light. Ricky blinked and let his eyes adjust to the sudden burst of light.
I've been happier than usual today but right now (11:58pm) I feel like someone is edging closer to my self distruct button. I swear i dissabled it because of the moods i've been in yet here i am completely on edge and pretty much ready to kill the next person who touches or tries to talk to me. Life's a bitch alright.
What do you guys think of the poem i wrote? Honest opinion please!!
A Breath of Fresh Air.
Oh how i long for the day.
When people look to me and say
‘You are special.’
To watch their face
Break into a smile
When they haven’t seen me in a while
Instead of cowering away.
I wish people would like me for me
Not who they want me to be.
Is it too much to ask
For that breath of fresh air.
I could lie and say 'smiles all round' but that would be the biggest lie ever told. It's nearly time to go back to school and i'm freaking out. Not about school, that's easy. What i am freaking out about is my mum. When i'm at school i have a laugh with my friends (Who am i kidding. Just the one friend) and i come home to her. She likes to make my life a living hell but not in the ususal parental way. So any way, she's been b*tchy and evil and i actually am going to turn up to school every day because of it. Positives!! I am going to prom this year in full goth and it is going to be amazing!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough? Who the f@ck knows. All i've been for the past two days is unhappy. I am actually hanging on by a thread here. I had to blast MCR through my ears to stop the bad thoughts. It distracted me but it didn't drown them out. I had my cousin to make me happy but now she's going back to france and i wont see her till christmas. HELP ME!!