This quote from 'Skylines And Turnstiles' really hits home. Well, the whole song does but this one line 'Inside that cave you call a chest' it really stands out to me. It's as if it were actually written for me. A lot of people i know are heartless bitches and honestly, it drives me to the point were it's hard to breath. I don't like talking anymore because i'm scared i'll say something wrong. There is obviously a lot more detail to this but i'd rather not go into it. I try not to talk to people. I even vowed never to utter a word again until i got shouted at by people.
MSI are probably my second favorite band. There are lots better than them but the energy isn't the same. I love the lyrics to their songs because they say the most random and simplest stuff that just makes you smile. My Chemical Romance saved me from myself and Mindless Self Indulgence helps me see that there is a fun side and they make me laugh more than anything or anyone has ever done in my life. They will always mean just as much to me as MCR do. That is all. I love you all.
~ Laura xx
As i woke up at six to do my hair, i sat there wondering 'Why do i even bother?'. I got my straighteners out and numbly moved them through my hair. I then automatically checked my Facebook and saw an interview had been posted on one of my favourite pages. It was one of Gerard. He was talking about 9/11 and how it changed the meaning to his whole life. And then i realized. If 9/11 had never happened, we wouldn't of had MCR. We would never have known that it's okay to be scared, to feel anger and pain. We might never have been saved. I want to be like that.
My band (Demolition Parade) have our first gig on Friday (along with my Drama exam.) and we are bricking it. But I've never been so excited. I've got some shit going on at the moment and I've been feeling down for about three months now but this is the most alive I've felt in a long time. It's almost as if i'm breathing again. Hopefully, if this gig is a success, the bad feelings will start to fade and i'll feel normal again. It's great to have that little bit of hope. I've been listening to Skylines And Turnstiles non stop for the past week and a bit and it's helped me so much.
Morning (Or as i like to call it, mourning) has arrived leaving me restless and half asleep. Monday has come. Now, I have nothing against mornings, in fact, I love them. It's what follows after that worries me. I'm in my last term of school and it's no secret that i'm not a well liked person. I have friends, people i talk to, but i never feel at home with them. I always feel the need to hold things back. When i'm with them, i feel almost robotic. I do what i'm supposed to and not what i want and i hate it. I want to be able to find people that i can be 100% comfortable with.
Is it possible to feel so lost that they only way to feel comfort is to listen to all the albums that were ever made by the band that broke your heart but mended it at the same time? Cause that's what I've been doing. I've shut down and this is the only way i can actually function. It's even worse when you think about the fact that I've been failing in school this term and i'm so close to my GCSE's. This is getting slightly out of hand.
I'd like to thank all of you, by the way. You guys are awesome and i'm proud to be part of this fanbase. I think that we're like one giant family even though I've never met or spoken to most of you. Just knowing that you're all there is enough to keep me going. So thanks.
Well, I haven't been on for ages. I know you guys haven't missed me but I've missed all of you. My Chemical Romance may be over but we shall never let them be forgotten. We are their shadow and we shall live on without them. We are gonna let the world know that the Killjoys never die. I know I'm a little late with the speech but i want to make sure no-one forgets who they were, who we are and what we all stand for. We will continue to pass on the music and help others like they've helped us. We'll never let them take us, or anyone, alive.
Okay so i haven't been on for a while. I've now got a boyfriend. I'm not as depressed as i used to be because of him and i'm slowly getting better. MCR have helped me through alot as well and.... Yeah. I go to college soon and it's going to be amazing!! Life's rolling on and i'm slowly starting to follow. The new songs are just amazing!! I'm not the only one who thinks that right?
Okay, i have been really bad recently. I've relapsed and i'm constantly fighting the urge to cry. It's doing my head in and i can't take it! I've managed to get some of the anger and hurt i'm feeling out in my Morganvile RPing and in English but there is still a big build up of bad emotion that i can't shift. What should i do?