Skip directly to content

lafari's blog

Syndicate content
I Feel Like Shit

seriously like i just don't get it. i can be so depressed for like months and i'll get really bad and then out of nowhere i can be happy for a few days but it'll go back. and right now i feel like shit. i hate myself. i want to make myself throw up. i can't get these bad thoughts out my head. i know i shouldn't think like that but i don't know what to do. i try to be happy but i fell myself becoming emotionally disconnected from people. i don't tell anyone about whats going on and i used to talk to my boyfriend about this.

i'm in this saturday theatre program and we use the performing arts to make a positive impact in the world. we share our personal stories, especially the ones that makes us cry, and then we write a play about it and perform in front of an audience about what we have been through, what they have been through, and to open eyes to create change. the way we prepare for it is that we do these exercises where we share personal information about our lives in different ways. mostly in the end we just say it out loud and explain or we do it through our physical reaction to things.

I'm a Senior!!!!

Which means the college application process ugh! but i think im doing fine all i need is information from my family and pay for it and i'm done. i wrote my college essay on how MCR changed my life and everyone loved it. my english teacher read it and i only made two grammar mistakes which she help me correct. so i'm feeling good about that. Oh and friday i'm going to see Memphis May Fire at the Best Buy Theater in Times Square if you'll be there let me know.

i want to talk

i wish we could just have a public chatroom where we could talk to one another. i have a new problem that i need to discuss and i want to do it privately and the lady i was talking to hasn't gotten back to me about counselors i can see and i just ugh i don 't know but i need to silence these thoughts and i just can't.

UGH

why do i feel this much pain? i just really am so confused. i hate this. i just want all my bad feeling to go away. i hate feeling absolutely fine one week and then feel like absolute shit the next. it never goes away. i hope to hear back from the social worker i was talking to. she was supposed to find me a counselor to go to so i can get all my feelings out. i just want to give up on everything. i have these urges to just smoke or drink and be completely reckless. i've never drank or got high before.

UGH

why do i feel this much pain? i just really am so confused. i hate this. i just want all my bad feeling to go away. i hate feeling absolutely fine one week and then feel like absolute shit the next. it never goes away. i hope to hear back from the social worker i was talking to. she was supposed to find me a counselor to go to so i can get all my feelings out. i just want to give up on everything. i have these urges to just smoke or drink and be completely reckless. i've never drank or got high before.

UGH

why do i feel this much pain? i just really am so confused. i hate this. i just want all my bad feeling to go away. i hate feeling absolutely fine one week and then feel like absolute shit the next. it never goes away. i hope to hear back from the social worker i was talking to. she was supposed to find me a counselor to go to so i can get all my feelings out. i just want to give up on everything. i have these urges to just smoke or drink and be completely reckless. i've never drank or got high before.

UGH

why do i feel this much pain? i just really am so confused. i hate this. i just want all my bad feeling to go away. i hate feeling absolutely fine one week and then feel like absolute shit the next. it never goes away. i hope to hear back from the social worker i was talking to. she was supposed to find me a counselor to go to so i can get all my feelings out. i just want to give up on everything. i have these urges to just smoke or drink and be completely reckless. i've never drank or got high before.

my father is a fucking fucktard

seriously, he's the worst father ever. and i'm not just complaining, this is serious. he's so fucking selfish. i mean if you're going to fucking walk out of my life like you don't give a shit then don't come back out of no where dragging me along down this trail of false hope to just fucking walk the fuck back out of my life, SHIT. like if you're going to go then please by all means go i will open the fucking door for you. but this in and out shit is not working for me. and he's so goddamn immature. i mean he was abusive to my mother.

hi guys

this blog is to just say hi to you guys :). i come here to feel better and make others feel better and i'm glad i have this. so how are you guys doing? i hope you all are happy and doing exciting things. to those who started school already i wish you luck. i start school in about two weeks. i hope you guys are having fun, because you are all awesome sauce!!!

Pages