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Fanfic

To all who care, I have updated my gundam wing fanfic Assassin's Protege on fanfiction.net. if you read it, reviews are much appreciated! without them i have no idea if my fic is crappy or amazing or somewhere in between. You can find it here; http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6322293/1/Assassins_Protege

Keep running,
~ Kari

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Just a quick blog

I dont know where i would be without my music. Time and time again i get myself into these messes and everything threatens to swallow me whole and push me to suicide, but time and time again i listen to a few choice songs and for a while things are better. Not okay, but better. Just last night i was feeling rather overwhelmed and desperate when the lyrics to one of my newer favorite songs, Savior, by BVB popped into my head. Even now, as the reality of this wonderful, cyclical mess i've landed myself in is once again overwhelming to the point that i will no doubt walk into my exam looking like i've been crying, the music still saves me, comforting me and giving me strength when i have none of my own left. SO now, i need to get off here and run to my exam cuz it starts in ten minutes. You know, the exam im going to fail for the class i'm going to fail and have to pay to retake over the summer with money we dont have.

Keep running,
~ Kari

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Ever had this happen?

So i was studying in the library today for my geography exam tomorrow when suddenly someone taps me on the shoulder. Suprised, i turn around and see this girl just having walked past me. She says hi and waves at me. I return the guesture and am filled with warm fuzzy feelings at the idea that someone is actually saying hi to me because my existance goes virtually unnoticed at my school. The only problem is this: the girl obviously seems to know me, and she looks very familiar, i just can't for the life of me remember who she is and how i know her! For her to have said hi, and actually remember me in doing so, we must have known each other somehow...i just can't remember how and know i feel horrible for not recognizing her now.

Keep running,
~ Kari

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Well, here i am again...

The horrible, relentless combination of suffocating amounts of stress, guilt, and suicidal thoughts has returned once more. At least this time its better cause i'm trying to ignore the pull to use suicide as an escape. Currently i'm listening to various songs on youtube (which is being cooperative and loading for once...playing snake with the youtube buffering screen is only so entertaining after several minutes of doing it) and telling myself how much i would love to get home and see my little sister and see the new puppy Lily (weimaraner/jack russell terrier mix, speculated) and play with her and sit with her and to teach her basic obedience commands and how to walk on a leash. *sigh* If only it wasn't completely true that it was *me* that got me into this never endng financial disaster that is costing my family thousands upon thousands that we do not have...you know, perhaps an anti-suicide playlist on youtube would be beneficial to my health. I shall make one right now.

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This blog's "post a blog" window is getting fucking irritating!

So i was TRYING to post a video of my new fav song but it keeps INISISTING that its an invalid code or some shit when it *cant be* because all i did is go to youtube, right click the video, and click copy embedded code. I would copy the URL but my computer never actually copies it, idk why. It should work! I've done it before! Granted last time it gave me shit too. THEN when i thought i got it working it comes up as some kind of fucking server error! UGH! Well FUCK trying to post a blog about the new song thats managed to save my life from a band i didn't even like till now. I'm too pissed off to bother trying to post it again.

Keep running,
~ Kari

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Stole This Cuz I'm Bored

1. What is your middle name?
Nicole. But no Kari isn't my first name, i just like it so i made it my internet name.

2. Where are you from?
Texas

3.What color are your eyes?
Blue.

4. How tall are you?
4"11'. My goal is to be five feet tall someday, but alas i stopped growing as a preteen. T_T

5. What did u want to be when u were little?
When i was little i wanted to be a vet cause i like animals, when i was a preteen/teen i wanted to be an author, and in highschool i alternated between wanting to go into animation or web design.

6. What genre of music do u listen to
Punk and alternative rock.

7. What is your favorite food?
Dr.Pepper, doritoes, nachoes, pizza, and mac n cheese.

Tacos, Dorritos, and Dr. Pepper

8 What's your favorite color(s)?
Blue and purple.

9. What color do u want your hair?
I want to put blonde highlights in it. I'd dye my hair a darker brown (its a lighter brown naturally) but my skin is too pale for that.

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Meet My New Favorite Song!

I know its not MCR, and i know i'm probably a bit late in discovering this band, but whatever. This song, and several others of theirs, has been on repeat since i found it. =D

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Titles are Meaningless in a Blog

I'm sorry. I'm going to fix everything.

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MCR is my Morning Coffee

@_@ I need another six hours of sleep. But unfortunately i have to be a good student for once and actually go to the classes im paying thousands to go to. I mean, its bad enough i'll probably fail half my classes anyways as it is cause i've done so poorly. Damn it, i've always been a good student, what the fuck is wrong with me this semester? Depression and having no friends shouldn't fucking matter, especially when your paying thousands to go to college...yet i've wasted all of that. The last thing i had going for me, i've ruined. *sigh* Story of my life, i guess. Idk why i'm even still alive at this point, its a never ending pattern, has been since the day i was born, literally. I waste so much money and one way or another i've managed to waste all of it...well, like it or not i gotta go shower. Even if i dont wanna get up, i *do* want breakfast this morning, and if i lay in bed much longer i'll probably miss it.

Keep running,
~ Kari

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MCR is my Morning Coffee

Ugh. Its 9:20 am and i just woke up and i already have a sinus headache. @_@ Idk why i'm even getting out of bed today. Everything just seems so worthless lately. I've even started cutting again for the first time in probably 2 or 3 years. Shit's piled up and i just want out of it all at this point. I am, however, looking forward to seeing Ryan in class tomorrow...he's the only one at this damn college who acknowledges my existence, and although i can't fathom why he continues to do so, i appreciate it. Anyways, if i wanna get breakfast before the cafeteria closes the breakfast line i need to get off my ass and out of bed.

Keep running,
~ Kari