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Advice please?

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website. Unfortunately due to serious legal issues we cannot allow posts of this nature on this website. Sorry, and thank you for understanding. The mods xo]

3. No self harm posts
If you are feeling like you may harm yourself please contact someone who can help.

Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org or twloha.com/find-help. You can also contact The Trevor Project at thetrevorproject.org or by calling their Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

Kinda Serious Morning Coffee Blog

Hi everyone! I know i havent been on here lately, but i've been kind of stressed lately so im back on here again. I haven't been depressed, that's not the problem, mostly because i found friends and that's made me happier than ive been in ages. Its the other issue that i'm starting to notice is coming up...I can't talk about it much on here, so message me if you want the details.
Last night my roommate was gone, and i was up all by myself in my bed trying and failing to get to sleep.

Not just another day

today isnt just another day to wake up in my dorms at college, because today i can look at my schedule for the day and smile! For once i have friends and have plans with said friends. After they get out of class - i dont have class till tomorrow - we're going to go out to lunch and then later this evening we're all going to the target shopping event that target and our college are putting together. I'm so excited! No longer do i just sit in my room and chat online with my one friend that no longer lives nearby or text my other friend that i've grown apart from.

Hey

Ugh. Sitting here in my dorm room all alone cause my roommate hasn't moved in yet, without even a tv to keep me from thinking so blaring music will have to do. With headphones, so as to be courteous to my new neighbors. But yeah my head's all a mess, i don't know what to do. I was severely depressed last semester and this past summer my parents found out about it.

Close to breaking

Here's to emotionally numbing yourself out of sheer desperation, knowing that if you don't you'd probably end up doing something incredibly stupid and selfish. I haven't been this close to breaking in a long while.

Keep running,
~ Kari

Ugh when can this month be over

I just want august to be over already! Its full of money issues all related to paying for college. If i hadn't let myself get depressed last semester and fail classes - and therefore become inelligible for financial aid - then it would've never got this bad. Now i have to compete with thousands of other students for a job so i can help make ends meet so far as paying for college goes - me, the girl who has been trying for several summers now to get a job with no success! Ugh. Damn it i've done nothing but screw everything up like usual. I just want it all to be done and over.

Not okay right now

I'm one big panicking ball of anxiety and desperation atm all revolving around college and money issues and angry parent. Would someone mind just messaging with me or something and distracting me from my train wreck of thoughts until my new degrassi episode gets uploaded online later? I just don't want to be alone and the one friend i would usually go to is, as is usual lately, not online. If anyone reads this, thanks...

Keep running,
~ Kari

Just getting some things off my chest

-__- Its too early to be awake! But my eight year old sister just barged in my room like twenty minutes ago saying that mom wanted me up so i can accompany her to the movie today. Brilliant. All my plans of sleeping in through the morning, avoiding my dad because i want to avoid the inevitable money problems conversation, have been ruined. >_< It does *not* help that my bestie never got online last night so i ended up doing some reflecting which is okay but not when it its up on a less than desirable trail.
I ended up thinking about the time like a month or two ago when my mom had found out

Ugh

Staving off freaking out and having some form of a breakdown over paying for college by blaring BVB and reading fanfics. Nice. I hate the night sometimes, being alone with just my thoughts. I really wish my bestie would get online...she's never online much anymore...

Keep running!
~ Kari

Somewhat freaking out atm

Okay so like the title says i'm mildly freaking out at the moment and the only thing keeping it from escalating is the fact that i'm channeling the freaking-out-ness through listening to BVB's knives and pens. the song itself wasn't intentionaly picked, it just happened to be next on my playlist. Anyways, like i was saying i've created this little situation myself, which sucks, especially because i've kinda been slipping lately. All this stress and anxiousness is starting to make me depressed again. Ugh.

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