Okay so you know those times when your laying in bed and your mind just won't shut up no matter how tired you are? Not the good kind of it wont shut up, either. The i am alone with just my thoughts to keep me company and my thoughts are currently my worst enemy kind of it wont shut up. So yeah that was me like five or ten minutes ago, i was laying in bed tempted to do stupid shit we aren't allowed to blog about anymore and somehow i did a complete 180 on myself. I blame Bret von Dehl and The Relapse Symphony - their song Make Your Move has been on repeat since i found it lol.
Okay so i had this nice, heartfelt blog all typed up and ready to post and then i hit the wrong key and BOOM the computer took me back a page! I wanted to cry, i wanted to scream, i wanted to do really stupid shit to relieve the intense, all consuming, chest-compressing suffocating anxiousness i've been feeling since i woke up. In the past, and to some extent currently, i've always dealt with it inproductively by cutting. As a way to not cut, i started either numbing my emotions or blasting music to deal with it, but those ways don't really solve anything either.
Today is a NEW day with a CLEAN slate. The mistakes of YESTERDAY are done and gone. Get up, take advantage of it, and try again. Fight to fucking win, no giving in. Wear your favorite outfit, pretty yourself up, and blast some music while you get ready for today. Today is a NEW day, with a clean slate, FREE of yesterday's mistakes. Yesterday and all of its hurt and all of its mistakes are dead and gone.
“Every sixty seconds you spend upset is another minute of happiness you’ll never get back.” — Andy Biersack
“Live for today.” – Bret von Dehl
I'm so TIRED today!! -__- Went to bed at like 2am and my mom texted me at like 9:30am saying she was gonna be here at 10:30 so i was like wtf that's early and jumped out of bed to start getting ready. So yeah. I had planned to sleep in till past noon, and now im feeling the after-effects of half a night's worth of sleep. On the upside, my mom brought me tons of good food, including cookies and my favorite chips! And soda. I'll need all of it if i am to stay awake and get all my studying done today that i need to get done.
...and without it i don't know where i would be. It taught me so much. Simple Plan, back in early middle school, taught me that i wasn't alone in what i felt. My Chemical Romance then came in and saved me the first time i felt depressed, was self harming, and had become suicidal. They taught me that i'm not the only one who feels that way, that its okay to be messed up, and that no matter how bad it gets, you can and will get through it and make something of yourself. If you need any convincing, just look at Gerard Way.
As the title implies, i have decided that today will be a *good* fucking day! Purely because i said so. Yesterday all i did was lay around and do nothing. Today i'm gonna get up and do shit! My friends might be either busy working or out of town today, but that doesnt mean i cant make the most of today and force myself over this little depressive funk i've found myself in. So i shall blare my new favorite song, Make Your Move by The Relapse Symphony, and do everything that needs done rather that sit in bed wasting away.
So i got the brilliant idea that if im not supposed to listen to the bands i like, much less associate with them on facebook, i'll just create another facebook page using my internet name to do it anyways! I do have four albums im waiting for to come out. Only, now i'm realizing the inherent fault in that - now i'm back to having like four friends on facebook. So if anyone wants to friend me on facebook just because, or maybe in hopes we can help each other, i'd be welcome to it. the link is: http://www.facebook.com/?sk=welcome#!/kari.suttle
Good morning everyone! Not that anyone's reading this, but still. I just woke up, and since then i've been blaring my favorite song, Make Your Move, from this new band, The Relapse Symphony, that i found last night. It totally made my horrible, stressful week amazing and positive just listening to them. I mean, i went back on my promise and relapsed like two days ago its been that bad and again the next day and i haven't done that for months now. So yeah, pretty amazing band i've found. The fact that at least two of their members are MCR fans is pretty cool, too, though.
You guys have gotta check out this new band! They're called The Relapse Symphony. If you need motivation, just know this: at least one of their members, Bret, is an MCR fan. He said so in a vlog! Hehe. Anyways! My horrible week from hell that even made me relapse, no pun intended, was made awesome the moment i found this band. They're so new that i dont think they have an album out yet, but nonetheless i've been spamming the replay button since i found their youtube channel. =) Which i am about to get back to exploring, actually. Again, check these guys out!