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I Don't want to fall in love

My heart is evil.
"I told you already! haven't you learned you lesson??"

I love him. so much...
I wish I didn't
He has his girl,She's pretty,skinny...
She's normal and two years younger then him.
I'm weird and I'm a year older then him.
so it makes sense.
I should have told him before when I met him, but I kept my mouth shut.

I know how it always ends up,
Recently I've been texting him, but he seems hostel. Angry.
So I give up. I won't have you in my heart anymore.
I don't ever want to feel heartbroken.

I'll be a nun. Fuck love I don't believe in it.

I've been watching my childhood

So I''ve been watching Sailor Moon....

I'm too old to be watching stuff like this..

Anyway I would sneak in to the living room in the middle of the night to watch this anime on Adult Swim.. Ahh the good old days
I'm so embarrassed

Today

Please don't read this if your sensitive. I'm upset right now I needed to let out my pent up feelings. So I won't do anything stupid... I'm sorry

Song for tonight
i love this song

I know people get tired of me. How annoying and hopelessly naive and stupid I am….
I’m so clueless. “Get the fucking hint dumb-ass, Just shut the fuck up no one cares.”
I can hear it. I can hear it play in my head.
“Your a cool person and all but…..” He was sparing my feelings. but I could tell he was annoyed. I didn't even hear the last part because I knew it was going to run me over…
“Why do you always come in here??” she says…
because I want to be friends with you, because I want to talk, because you both seem so smart….
“Because I like it in here…” I say smiling, but all I want to do is

My Turn....

1)A song you like with a color in the title

Red - The GazettE

2)A song you like with a number in the title

Zero - Plastic Tree

3)A song that reminds you of summertime

Summer Drive - An Cafe

4)A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

The Only Exception - Paramore

5)A song that needs to be played LOUD

Boy Division - My Chemical Romance

6)A song that makes you want to dance

Planetary (GO!) - My Chemical Romance

7)A song to drive to
Nemureru Mori - Plastic Tree

8)A song about drugs or alcohol
idk

9)A song that makes you happy... Eh??

10)A song that makes you sad

My turn

1) A song you like with a color in the title:

Bury Me In Black-My Chemical Romance

2) A song you like with a number in the title:

ゼロ - プラスティック トゥリ (Zero - Plastic Tree)

3) A song that reminds you of summertime:

Summer Drive - アンティック-珈琲店- ( Summer Drive - An Cafe)

4) A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about:

Casis - The GazettE

5) A song that needs to be played loud:

BOY DIVISION!!!!!!

6) A song that makes you want to dance:

Boy Division- My Chemical Romance

7) A song to drive to:

眠れる森 - Plastic Tree

8) A song about drugs or alcohol:

I'm not sure about this one...

My turn

1) A song you like with a color in the title:

Bury Me In Black-My Chemical Romance

2) A song you like with a number in the title:

ゼロ - プラスティック トゥリ (Zero - Plastic Tree)

3) A song that reminds you of summertime:

Summer Drive - アンティック-珈琲店- ( Summer Drive - An Cafe)

4) A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about:

Casis - The GazettE

5) A song that needs to be played loud:

BOY DIVISION!!!!!!

6) A song that makes you want to dance:

Boy Division- My Chemical Romance

7) A song to drive to:

眠れる森 - Plastic Tree

8) A song about drugs or alcohol:

I'm not sure about this one...

Night after night I am visited by my demons

Night after night, the demons come out to tempt me.
I'm laying in bed, so many useless things running around preventing me form a good nights sleep.
I remember something from years ago. And It plays over and over and over...
It stars to swallow me in something dark
and all I can think about is the red.
God do I dread the night...
It twists my insides and my heart feels heavy. Smoldering hot tears rolling down in to my pillow.
Why can't I sleep with out suffocating in my thoughts.
I haven't dreamed in such a long time.
I want to sleep a deep sleep and dream of all the beautiful things.
but