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I'm so mad

I'm so mad, because I just fucking.. I can't get over this damn depression thing, and I am anxious pretty much all the time. and I just FUCK! Why? Why the fuck do I fucking feel this way!?!?!?! I'm not a strong person. This stuff is supposed to happen to strong people. It's not good at all. I feel like I really need help but I can't ask for it. I'm not strong enough to ask for it. But I just fucking. Its so fucking complicated, and if I talk to somebody... I mean, no one wants to listen. No one wants to care. And can I blame them!?!?!? Who would care if they didn't HAVE to care?

Bullying

This gets me so fucking mad. okay the other day, I was walking through my cafeteria after school, trying to find five ones (cuz I had a five dollar bill) for the vending machine cuz I was stuck at school til 8 o'clock right?.. well, there is the girl sitting at one of the tables, nd her hair is covering her face, so I ask her for five ones, but I don't even finish my sentence when I realized she was crying. I asked her whats wrong and she completely let go. She was yelling and kicking the trash can and just VERY emotional.

I think I'm a fuck up

I Don't know what it is, but i think I make people feel weird because I am just a god listener. I come from a very gossipy cliquey town. Most people here listen, and then go off and tell the whole fricken world, or just talk and don't listen. I really listen, and don't go spouting it off to other people. I think it makes people kind of paranoid in a way. Because I look like this blonde headed goody two shoes kid, people just talk to me, but then they get paranoid that I'm like, scheming them, or I have an ulterior motive.

Prom Nightmare (revision) Don't think I'm crazy!)

Summery of a story I made up. I drew these two characters one day, and then the story just came to me while staring at them. They are TERRIBLE drawings, but at least I tried, right? lol! okay they don't have names, so I will refer to them as the guy and the girl. If you think of a good name for them, could you write it in the comments please? and please also give feedback on the story I made up! Thank ya!

A Week Before Prom:

(The Guy background info)

Okay, so the guy is a senior in High school right? He is also one of those kids that is bullied all the fucking time right?

Prom Nightmare

Summery of a story I made up. I drew these two characters one day, and then the story just came to me while staring at them. They are TERRIBLE drawings, but at least I tried, right? lol! okay they don't have names, so I will refer to them as the guy and the girl. If you think of a good name for them, could you write it in the comments please? and please also give feedback on the story I made up! Thank ya!

I Need A Drink

Okay, this actually has NOTHING to do with he fact that Gerard way was an Alcoholic. This is just me. I have been coming home after school, like really depressed and stressed ( like usual), but these few days have been different. I come home and i feel like I need a drink. Like, I need specifically Alcohol. And like, it is WAY against my morals to drink under age or do drugs. I have seen people who I love very much get destroyed by these things. But I really feel like I need it. It's not that I just want to try it. I have had sips of alcohol before. It's not very mysterious to me.

I come

I have realized something

Whenever I write these depressing blogs, they are written after several days of not being able to sleep. You see, when i don't sleep, I have more time to ponder life than the average human being. It's not like I don't want to sleep either. I REALLY REALLY REALLY do. I just can't. so I lay, and ponder and ponder and ponder life and I always come to some depressing conclusion about my life. Whatever that conclusion may be, it gets me stressed, which makes sleeping even harder.

I Need Support

I'm really depressed right now. I have actual depression (surprise). That heavy feeling is worse than ever right now. I can't shake it. I'm afraid I will be alone forever. I am sixteen and have never had a boyfriend. I have barely had friends. Tonight is Prom, and i am a junior, but a ton of juniors and sophomores are going with their senior boyfriends/friends. I am all alone. I don't want to be alone forever. That's not the life I wan't to live. I can't even get... I was just wondering what was so wrong with me that people don't even want to be friends with me.

lifted

When i get into the deepest darkest corners of my thoughts, I just watch an interview of MCR or listen to their songs, and that heavy feeling that was so incredibly debilitating and unbearable residing in my chest, just lifts up away from me. With them, I feel I am okay.

Tired

Sometime's i get so tired of being me... I am not something to be proud of.. but that's who i am..so what can i do?.. If i don't really like me?

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