Izzeerascal's blog

We had a discussion about it in PSHE today. Normally nobody gives a flying fuck about PSHE and uses it as a free lesson, but people were actually listening today, which was good considering the topic.
The teacher asked who out of us thought that being gay was wrong, and three guys put their hand up. Two didn't really have a reason, but one said that it was not 'what evolution intended'. To which I pointed out the prostate gland, so maybe evolution was at the very least considering experimenting.

I've gotten over it now - well, I was over it yesterday really - but I've noticed that my friends are being, shall we say, 'off' with me.
I don't expect to be treated like a princess, I know I can be annoying at times. I'd just like, you know, to be treated like people want me around, and at the moment only M seems to want me around. It was getting me down all this week, but now I just think, well, fuck them. I'm me. I'm awesome. If they want to hang around with me, they can treat me with a bit of respect.

1. I am listening to I'm Not Okay right NOW.
2. Apparently I have scary dancing.
3. Two of my friends saw Kill Hannah the other day :)
4. I feel like Gerard Way 'cause I can't really play an instrument (I know he plays guitar a bit but . . .) and I'm going out with a bassist (yes, I know he's actually married to Lyn-Z, but give me some leeway here :D)
5. M has offered to teach me bass, which is lovely, but I find it very difficult to take direction off people, even actual teacher.
6. He also called me classical beauty :D
7. I'm now listening to Helena
WHAT'S THE WORST THAT I COULD SAY? THINGS ARE BETTER OFF THIS WAYY!! SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT! SO LOOOOOONG AND GOODNIIIIIIGHT!
8. My mum's going out tonight. That means I will spend the evening drinking cider, eating ice cream, and playing Guitar Hero.

BOBBERSON OUT, BITCHES :D xx

I don't know why, and that's what makes it worse. I don't know if I'm actually feeling this or if it's a subconscious cry for attention and I'm only paying attention because I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. Maybe I am feeling this and I'm just overanalysing it because I'm a bit of a hypochondriac.

The only bad thing that's actually happened today is that I went to meet M and he wasn't there, and I've not had a text off him all day. But I managed for fifteen years without anyone to talk to. Nobody wants to talk to me that badly, considering how I'm not in contact with pretty much everyone from my primary school - I don't think I've seen my 'best friends' in five years.

The song Disintegration by The Cure, possibly my favourite song by them. Maybe I shouldn't really listen to it, because it makes me depressed, but it's so beautiful, and it's getting me into the right mindset for writing - my friends seem to find it odd that even though I'm usually a pretty chirpy person, all my writing is about isolation and death. I was lonely for a long time, but I don't expect them to understand that :/
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....
Bobberson xx

Ah wuzz in Paris all weekend. There was a naked man in the flat opposite our hotel room. I bought a biscuit tin and went to the Japanese Culture Museum thingy near the Eiffel tower. Went in H&M and got some black jeans cause I decided the ones I was wearing weren't dark enough.
The picture there is a roof. A lovely roof.

Bobberson xx

I actually drew this a few days ago, but I just kept forgetting to post it. I don't often try drawing people as actual people - normally I'll draw them in my own style so they end up looking like generic dolls doing an impression of a person - but I had a go at trying to draw them to look like them.
Although Bob and Mikey came out kind of weird 'cause I'm not used to drawing them, I'm pretty fucking pleased with this picture. It took me about three or four hours, I think, over two days.

As in Bella Swan, not the birds.
I'm just having a little low self-esteem moment, is all. Nothing major.
Before I start this, can I just say that I've already had people refusing to believe I'm being serious, or calling me terrible and selfish and such. I don't need you to repeat it.
My problem is that I can't love - aside from M, and I'll get onto him in a moment. Everyone else in my life, I feel nothing for. I get along with people, and I like spending time with my friends, but when it comes down to it, what do I really feel? I don't ask about their weekend because what does it have to do with me? Why should I care what they're doing with their spare time? I'll stick up for them in fights, but because of my moral beliefs, not because it's them. I'd stick up for anyone if they were called fat, or were on the recieving end of racism or homophobia, or were discriminated against for having learning difficulties.

I worked out exactly why it is that I can't tolerate people liking groups like One Direction and JLS, or when they call themselves 'bands', and yet I can handle people liking Adele - who does some good stuff, but I get bored of her pretty easily.
It's art, or the lack thereof.
Art comes in different forms. I'm not musical, but I write and I draw. I don't like going to art galleries, and for a long time I couldn't work out why, other than that I felt that it wasn't 'art'.
But art is expressing yourself, right? Simple enough, but it took me a while to really understand it and how it works with other people. I find it difficult to understand how some things can be art, because there are so many things that can inspire a person that you can't possibly hope to know what it is that's inspiring somebody else.

I have a tumblr and a twitter. Nothing special, and I'm not saying it'll be anything you'd be interested in, but I'm Izzybombizzee on Twitter, and my tumblr is roflmaotilms.tumblr.com (I know, stupid name - it stands for 'rolling on the floor laughing till I lost my sombrero'). So yeah, there you go.

Bobberson x