Izzeerascal's blog

I remembered that I haven't been on here in moonnttthsssss, 'cause I mainly use my tumblr (themoobinspector, if you're bothered). But I felt like coming back. Here's what's happened over the last few months. This is going to sound so fucking whiny. Also, trigger warning, I think.

YOU GUYS THE NEW ALBUM IS COMING OH MY GOD ITS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME LOOK ITS ALL HAPPENING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SO EXCITED FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS IS GOING TO BE BRILLIANT.

A psychiatrist or something, I mean. I hadn't ever really considered it seriously until Matt said maybe I should after the first time I tried to explain what goes on in my head. He said it again the other day, and I was kind of against it at first, but now I think maybe I should. Lovely as Matt is, he's sick of me complaining all the time, I can tell, and I would like someone who's paid to care about what I say and at least try to tell me what's going on. That's basically all I want, to know what's happening in my own head.

I keep having nightmares and weird dreams. I'm currently staying in this seaside place on holiday (we're leaving tomorrow) and I'm sharing a room with my friend Alix.
I don't know what it is, but since we got here I've had more and more trouble sleeping.
Night 1 - woke up about 3 times and went back to sleep.
Night 2 - kept waking up feeling really confused and freaked out, turning the lamp on and going back to sleep.
Night 3 - don't remember.
Night 4 - had a dream about going to a new school where everyone hated me, briefly woke up crying for some reason. Went back to sleep, ended up in the same dream although it ended nicer than it started.
Night 5 - had two nightmares, one I don't remember. In the second I was at the cinema and these people in a poster for a horror film started climbing out of the poster.
Night 6 - couldn't sleep until 5 am, had a dream about being in a shop.

Florida's nice and everything, but I want to go home.
I'm not used to feeling homesick, because it's only recently that I really actually got close with most of my friends. The last big holiday I had was japan, which was awesome and I only wanted to go because it was just me and my mum for three weeks, and she tries to pick fights with me if you leave us alone together, and uses my not rising to her accusations as fuel for her anger.

Me and Matt get on pretty well for a couple, I think - we've never really fallen out before, we're usually honest with each other etc - but he pissed me off today.
I'm on holiday at the moment so, to save money, we're only sending one text a day. It takes maybe five, ten minutesto send a long text, right? I've been out all day every day while I've been here, but inmanage to send texts. He's back home, and I know that the only thing he was doing today was getting some friends round for the evening. Firstly, that doesn't make him too busy to send a text, and secondly, the friends he has round aren't going to mind him sending me one text cause they're close friends of mine too, and one textedit his girlfriend enough to use up unlimited texts.

Hi guys, I'm in Florida now. Mostly me and my friend are going to be going to theme parks, but to those of you living around here, I have some questions:
1)are there any Hot Topics in there Kissimee/ Orlando area? I'm not unite sure where I am but we're not too far offa walmart and a shop that looks like a big orange. I've never been to a Hot Topic but I'd like to.
2)are there large numbers of you in the area? Me and my friend are both (obviously) big MCR fans, and I just like to know how many there are in an area. Will probably have our t-shirts on on the 23rd.
3)how much are converse?

Thank you ^.^

To those of you who have your Killjoys in my story, or just happened to want to read it (haha XD as if):
I thought I'd have it finished by now, but I've had a lot of stuff to do, and now I'm going to Florida for three weeks or so, so it will be a while before it's done. It's about half way finished though.

Nobody wants to talk to me about it but I want to talk somewhere so I'm doing it here.

I hate myself and nobody seems to get it - well, Matt doesn't, and I've only mentioned this to him, cause I don't trust other people that way.
It started out that I was perfectly happy with myself, and occasionally I'd feel a bit down, like most people do. But then the past few years, particularly this year, when I've gotten down it's gotten worse - like, I don't just feel less happy, I feel like screaming constantly and hurting things and hollow and just stuff - and it's gotten more frequent. It used to be maybe once in a year, and then twice, and then every few months, and then recently it's been every two weeks or so.

I'm writing one now, just a one-shot about an encounter my Killjoy Disco Dynamite has with the Fabulous Four. I need maybe two or three other Killjoys to be in it too, so I thought why not ask you guys? If you want to be in it, then just comment with the following:
Killjoy Name:
Real Name: (of your Killjoy)
Age:
Appearance: (height, hair/eye/skin colour, clothes etc)
Personality: (basics, serious or funny, short-tempered . . .)
Bio: (a few lines so I can write them better
Skills:
Weaknesses:

I'll comment with who I've picked :)