HellyWay's blog

I HAVE A DILEMMA!!!
i finished all these fan fictions and i dont know what to read next :(
i want to read a frerard next....ANY GOOD FRERARDS????
leave a link in the comments and i would love it!!!
the frerards ive already read are...
the dove keeper (love it)
what your heart desires
splitting of the mind
boys of seclusion
OKAY SO IF YOU LEAVE ONE THATS NOT ONE OF THOSE THAT ARE GOOD I WOULD BE SO HAPPPYYY
thank you <333

***NOTE: so im doing the cheesy thing and adding songs that go along with the chapters. like what i am listening to while writing it. so..yeah haha. the songs will be posted at the end of the chapters!(:****

Chapter 11:
Saving The Hero

As soon as noon came I was pulling off my name tag and out the door. I knew I was going against everything I had ever led myself to believe, but I wanted to see Gerard. I rushed out of there as soon as things got personal. I had walls. Thick, strong walls, that I had spent years building and adding to. One guy wasn't going to just break them down. I wouldn't let him. But that didn't stop me from wanting to see him.

so. i got 1 comment on my last chapter when i usually get 8. so..you know..thats not good. are people reading it anymore? just let me know and if your interested in reading it i would LOVE if you did(: its fan fiction so if you like those i would be so great full if you checked out mine. thanks guys(: <3

Chapter 10:
The Guy At The Window

"Elizabeth where were..oh. Oh Elizabeth what happened to you?!?!" Fuck. Yeah I saw this coming. I couldn't just slide past my boss today and act like nothing happened. My wounds from two nights ago were still there, I was even still wearing the same blood stained shirt.
"Nothing, Richard just please-"
"Nothing? That's not going to slide. You didn't come in yesterday without calling, and now you show up looking like-"
"Like my face was shoved in a blender?" I slightly smiled at my small inside joke. But the smile was quickly wiped away from remembering who it was with.
Richard twisted his face a little bit at my remark, then nodded his head and continued. "Um..yeah. But more like your whole body. What the hell is going on with you? What happened?"

UGH so im obsessed with MCR fan fictions just because...well...I love them. But im at my school library and the only thing available to me at the moment that I could read with out me having to look up and shit or reread or what ever as the epilougue and second book to THE DOVE KEEPER! possisbly not just the best fan fic of all time, but just hands down the best book. its...its perfect.
ANWAYS
yeah thats all i had and i was perfectly fine with that. you know. until I actually started reading it. DONT GET ME WRONG ITS PERFECT! but im tired as fuck and my mini sized tired brain couldn't take all the deepness and thought prokovingness of it. Like UGH im tired and your gonna throw life changing speeches at me? reaaaallll classy -__-

Chapter 10:
The Guy At The Window

"Elizabeth where were..oh. Oh Elizabeth what happened to you?!?!" Fuck. Yeah I saw this coming. I couldn't just slide past my boss today and act like nothing happened. My wounds from two nights ago were still there, I was even still wearing the same blood stained shirt.
"Nothing, Richard just please-"
"Nothing? That's not going to slide. You didn't come in yesterday without calling, and now you show up looking like-"
"Like my face was shoved in a blender?" I slightly smiled at my small inside joke. But the smile was quickly wiped away from remembering who it was with.
Richard twisted his face a little bit at my remark, then nodded his head and continued. "Um..yeah. But more like your whole body. What the hell is going on with you? What happened?"

Chapter 9:
Numbness Is Bliss

I wasn't lying. But I still didn't understand what was coming out of my own mouth. 'So I don't have nightmares'. I never dreamed ever, I haven't in so long. I never thought twice about it. I was relieved when I stopped, because when ever I did, I would have nightmares. About everything. So much shit was going on at once, and with my childish imagination, it was horrifying what my brain would come up with while I slept.
Gerard scrunched up his face more in pain and understanding. It's what he had guessed, but maybe he understood it more than I did.
"But..I never meant to block them out. I never thought I could. They just kind of stopped, along with the nightmares." I was shaking my head in confusion.
"I know. That's also a subconscious thing." I looked back up at Gerard trying to understand. how did he just know? Well, he obviously had more answers than me. But I wanted to know how he had all these answers.

Chapter 8:
Nightmares Are Always Real.

Gerard laughed and shook his head. I was just trying to lighten the mood. I was taken back and a little creeped out by the fact that Gerard had just 'thought I looked like a Helena', and I didn't know if I completely believed him. But I tried to push it to the back of my head and go with his explanation. I thought I looked more like a Helena too. I constantly asked my mom about it when I was younger, she would just shake her head and say 'Your name is your name Elizabeth'. And I had accepted it.
I realized I was still latched on to Gerard's hand and snatched my hand back quickly. He was going to think I had a 'thing' for him. Please. I did have a thing for him, but not that kind of thing. I found him intriguing, beautiful, and captivating yes, but I did not have a 'thing'.

oh man...I couldn't even look at this. Gerard looked like a such an awkward turtle.
the crowd was completely dead.
and nikes....really?
dad jeans?.....oh god.
Gerard this isnt you! this isnt you!!!!!! your loosing yourself! just watching this made my stomach hurt.
I mean, he did fine. But the dead crowd just made him look silly. And just how he looks....oh fuck Gerard. Come back to us.

Chapter 7:
Perfect Imperfections.

I couldn't tell you how long we stayed there. Just crying. Well, mostly me. He had stopped shortly after we made our way to the floor. But me, I had been far from finished. It was the fact that someone, someone so imperfectly perfect, had seen me and had been able to look past the shitty outside to see the inside, that had made me cry. But now all the hurt over the years was keeping me crying. He saw how unhappy I was. And he actually wanted save me.
When Gerard said he wanted to save me, I didn't know exactly what he meant. "Saving" someone could mean so many things. What was he saving me from? My horrible job, my horrible apartment, my unhappiness, my loneliness, or myself? Probably all of the above. I was no help to my case. I had stopped trying to do anything that made me happy a long time ago. I wasn't trying to start a band anymore. I hadn't even touched my guitar in 3 years.