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The World Is Ugly, But Your Beauitful To Me : chapter 19

Chapter 19:
Curled Up In A Ball I Give Up

The day went on, but not as usual. Instead of thinking about how much of a fuck up I was, I thought about the guy at the end of the counter. Instead of hating everyone around me, I laughed at how idiotic and stupid they look from the coffee shop window.
When the morning rush was over, I walked over to where Gerard was and rested my arms on the counter. Gerard looked up from his drawing and gave me a lop sided smile. "You've survived another attack of the black ties."
I laughed. "Barely."
Gerard closed his sketch book and rested his arms on it.

I think....you should read this.

you dont have to be from a poor awful house and family to be unhappy. Maybe not something other people would call "traumatic" has happened to you. but i dont think it has to. Maybe you just feel like, even though you have friends, or not, that they dont care about you. Maybe your so desperate for someone who cares about you that after a week you call them your best friend and scare them away. Maybe your so used to people leaving you, its not we'll last forever, but how long is forever. Maybe out of self hatred you've treated the only people who really care bout you bad, and lost them.

I think....you should read this.

you dont have to be from a poor awful house and family to be unhappy. Maybe not something other people would call "traumatic" has happened to you. but i dont think it has to. Maybe you just feel like, even though you have friends, or not, that they dont care about you. Maybe your so desperate for someone who cares about you that after a week you call them your best friend and scare them away. Maybe your so used to people leaving you, its not we'll last forever, but how long is forever. Maybe out of self hatred you've treated the only people who really care bout you bad, and lost them.

lesbianest.

for some reason you guys dont believe me when i say i have no friends and guys think im disgusting xD
oh man, you guys <3
but yeah, i watched eclipse last night crying over my life drinking beer. it was a sad time xD
i woke up and was like "this is my downfall. this is your sign to get my shit straight"
like you know things are bad when you emotionly watch eclipse.
i had tea today.
bye ^-^

i miss her.

i relate to the song it never ends and blessed with a curse by BMTH.
"everything i touch turns to stone"
"so wrap your arms around me, and leave me on my own."
"everything i love, is another thing i've lost."
i will always love you remi, even though im probably just a distant memory.

hi *sticks out hand* my name is helly

hi. like it says my name is helly. ive been on this site for many years and have made many friends. but recently felt lonesome and would like to meet some new lovely souls who also have the same love for my chem as i!
warning im extremely awkward. sorry.
but uhhhh....
i love MCR
i love MSI
i love Blink -182
ive met ronnie radke
i love batman
harry potter is my life
Nerd when it comes to movie shit.
play guitar and bass
i love live shows
dr.pepper keeps my alive
coffee is perfection
cheeseburgers make me happy
art is a big part of my life
i enjoy doing hair
i have a deep love for tattoos
i

The World Is Ugly But Your Beautiful To Me: CHAPTER 18!! (please read)

Chapter 18:
Be Careful, Someone Might Catch You Smiling.

"Well look who it is! I was wondering where the...-" Richard made his way around the counter with a wet rag in one hand and stopped. "Well, uh, I..uh.."
"Um, Hi Richard." I made my way to the counter through the tables with Gerard's hand in mine, him following behind me sheepishly. When we got in front of the boss I looked down, I knew he was fucking confused and shocked. I was too.
"This is, uh, Gerard." I said bashifully, lowering my head and my eyes shifting. Richards eye's were huge and his face was hard to read. Was he suprised?

GERARDS NEW SOLO SONG "ZERO ZERO"

ok...im crying.
this is scaring me shitless
i love the song you know
but gerard doesnt even sound like himself...
the guys are doing all this solo shit and...im just not ready for this to end....

FRANKS NEW SONG "XMAS SUX"

sdfslgfajlskjgkl ITS SEX PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT
IS
SEXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!
FANGIRL WITH ME PLEAAASEEE AHHHHHHH

WHY WE CRY (a blog for my depressed soldiers, i hope this helps) PART 2 AND 3

[Post edited: Please refrain from posting about self harm as it is against the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the website. Unfortunately due to serious legal issues we cannot allow posts of this nature on this website]

i start with is...words are stupid if they dont mean anything. you can give a whole fucking
speech and none of it could mean a word to you. so i'll cut the bullshit of how everything is going to get easier soon, and tell you what i actually know for sure. if thats okay.
[Edited]
Im not going to give you all the crap about how i promise it will get sooo much better

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