Gerard's blog Syndicate content

Gerard's picture

Top Chef New York: Carla Appreciation

So Carla didn't win. Lindsey and I were really upset by this, as she had brought a completely element to the competition-- she brought the "love".
I actually got into this series a little late, missing the first two episodes, but Lindsey got me up to speed and her favorite was always Carla, and quickly, I saw why.
She wasn't backstabbing, never tried to throw anyone under the bus, and she generally flew under the radar, just making great food.
And even though she didn't win, I'm pretty sure that someone will give her the finances to open up her own restaurant.

And Lindsey and I would be the first two on line.

G

Gerard's picture

Potential Lucky Charms Of The Future: Chicken Sacrifice

I don't condone this, and I very well could have used a photo of a 12 piece KFC bucket-

But it's not my job to keep the harsh realities of life from you.

I'm not saying it's right- I'm just saying I could see this as a marshmallow.

With wicked good luck powers.

G

Gerard's picture

Potential Lucky Charms Of The Future: Evil Eye

These things actually gross me out for some reason.
I believe they come from Greece and are a very traditional lucky charm.
They could easily be adapted to marshmallow form.
Can't you picture it?
G

**EDIT**
I have been informed that Turkey is the country of origin for these "lucky charms".
A Turkish man once threatened to knife us in Paris.
It was intense.

Gerard's picture

Potential Lucky Charms Of The Future: Monkey's Paw

My thought process led me to wonder what would the future hold for Lucky Charms.

Sure, some of these ideas may seem taboo, but in an increasingly violent and progressive world I don't think these ideas are that far-flung.
I believe swimmers at the turn of the century were expected to wear full outfits, whereas today we have the thong bikini, as brought to mainstream attention by Sisqo, in his 1999 hit, "Thong Song".

I think a Monkey's Paw would make an excellent addition to Lucky Charms as it is in fact, a lucky charm from days of yore.

Most likely illegal now.

G

Gerard's picture

Thought Of The Day...

Having my morning cereal, I pondered a question, as one often does, while staring blankly at the morning sun--

Can you count your age by the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms? Like the rings of a great oak tree?

I remember, as a child, the addition of Purple Horseshoes and eventually Red Balloons. I now notice there are Yellow Hourglasses.
How many new magical totems of sugar will be in the bowl when I reach the age of 65?

G

Gerard's picture

Video Games I Quit On: Force Unleashed

It's no secret that I'm bad at video games. In fact, I'm not very good at games in general- I'm more of a strong starter who's score rapidly descends. Like with bowling... if I go bowling I'm great for the first few frames, I might even score a strike right away. But then I'm just for shit.
Ray, Mikey, and Bob are al great at games, but I still play them for fun.
But when a game stops being fun I usually end up quitting.
Let's talk about Star Wars: The Force Unleashed-
I really tried with this one and put in the hours. I found it occasionally very difficult and discovered moments where I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I toughed it out- Until I got to the level where you have to take down a giant Star Destroyer by sheer power of your "force" alone. The concept is crazy and should be very fun- it is not. I can't recall a time where I was put in such a frustrating situation with a game. I shouldn't even explain it- you should probably just youtube some gameplay footage if you're interested and watch the insanity.

Interestingly, this isn't the moment where I quit the game. After around 30 attempts, I searched the "interweb" for hints on how to do this. There weren't many hints- just a lot of vocal internet anger. But I eventually did it, quitting shortly after at the last stage, where you get to the Death Star and are in a room with around 200 bad guys for no reason at all, I mean I think they even created new bad guys just for this room, there was probably a Tiberian Shuttle dropping off bad-guys from previous stages who I hadn't seen in days. It was just shit blowing up, me dying, total nonsense, and at this point the damage had already been done during the Star Destroyer fiasco- I had simply stopped caring, so that's where I quit.

I will talk more later about other games I quit. There are a lot of them.
G

Gerard's picture

Meet the Angry Raisin.

Gerard's picture

I Cannot Be Fucking Stopped.

I'm three boxes deep into a case of Frankenberry and I'm still not sick of it. I eat a bowl every night after practice. I think I actually like it more than I did as a child...it's far more mild than I remember. Calming.

Gerard's picture

F-BERRY!

Franken-awesome.
Thanks, Xavier...

Gerard's picture

Every single time we start a new record it rains in LA.

Without fail, and for the duration of the recording process.
Hope you guys have umbrellas!
G