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HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NICE? THERE IS GOD DAMN, MOTHERFUCKING SHIT IN MY SINK!

You left your son's shit.
In my sink.
YOU LEFT YOUR ANNOYING ASS LITTLE SON'S SMELLY ASS SHIT IN MY BATHROOM SINK, AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO LEAVE THE FUCKING PARTY DIRECTLY AFTER? NOBODY EVEN FUCKING INVITED YOU! YOU JUST SHOWED UP AND STAYED FOR AN HOUR, AND ATE MOST OF THE FOOD, YOU FAT ASSES! MEANWHILE, MY BATHROOM SMELLS AWFUL. MY BATHROOM!
NOT THE BATHROOM IN THE HALL.
NOT THE BATHROOM IN BURGER KING.
THE BATHROOM ATTACHED TO MY MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM! YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK TO GO IN MY ROOM!
PICK IT THE FUCK UP, NOW!

Dammit, why?

My mom's high right now. Strangely, it's not funny like I figured it would be. It actually pretty annoying and she turned into a bitch.

Shank Me.

Here we have a different specimen of male. His name: Christian Shank. This masterpiece is, and will remain, my ex-boyfriend. I dated him for a whole four days before deciding that I was making an awful choice and the reasons I gave him were completely different from the truth. I told him that our relationship would never progress because I was flighty. However, I'm here to set the record straight. You see, I'm really not that flighty.

Happy Barbecue and Beer Day!

Before we get going on this less than patriotic rant, I wanna make a shout-out to Jenna, who some of you might know as "happilydismal". The message you sent me would have made my day, if not for the fifty packs of firecrackers I just purchased. My apologies.
Speaking of fireworks, am I the only person who isn't getting drunk today? I mean, this isn't National Grill Day, this day marks the birth of our fine country. 'MURICA. Anyone else ever thought of what a fine country this is? I mean, think about it- we were given rights that many cultures describe as privilege.

Warped

Mom, can have some money for the concert?
"Load the dishwasher, then we'll talk."
*does*
"So, how much do you want? Like, fifty?"
...Mom, that wasn't even a full load?
"Well, if you hurry up and throw that pan in, you can get sixty."
0_0

That's It- I'm A Very Important Man. Keep Singing. Don't Ever Stop Singing.

I went to see The Amazing Spiderman last night. It was pretty okay, but it wasn't like, spectacular or anything. But about half way through the movie I got an ICEE, and I went to get a refill when it ended. HOWEVER, the only employee I spotted was the one who had to lock up, and he appeared for less than a brief second. So, promptly, I took the lid off, got on my toes, and bent over the counter until I reached the machine. I wasn't about to pay five dollars for that damned thing without filling it twice.
TAKE THAT, IERO!

The Mob Goes Wild

Give disease to the swine who marry and propagate lies.
Tough luck for elected officials. The beast you see got fifty eyes.
Bring it on home, spread the wealth. Play it cool, the hand's been dealt.
Now, all the odds are in our favor. Save the victory speeches for later.

Streets on fire, the mob goes wild,wild,wild.
Streets on fire, the mob goes wild.

21 guns, box made of pine, letter from the government sealed and signed
Delivered Federal Express on your mother's doorstep.
21 guns, box made of pine, letter from the government sealed and signed
Delivered Federal Express on your mother's

My Life is a Lie

Ever since I decided to stop eating so much, I haven't actually been hungry. This is weird, considering I'm the world's biggest fat ass and that I eat constantly. The only actually had lunch today was because I knew I had to eat regularly in order to stay on the diet. Last night, I had a single oreo and I resisted the urge to get another. Instead, I savored the one I had and ate in small, slow bites. It was delicious.

Good Lord

I spent twenty minutes trying to tune my guitar, only to hear how un-tuned it still sounded. I felt defeat for a moment; like the bastard instrument finally won, and I couldn't conquer no matter what I tried. The taste it left in my mouth was agonizing, and the guilt of giving up on something my mother had invested so much money in began to eat me alive. It was awful. I began to think of how disappointed everyone would be that I had just thrown away something good and not tried harder. Collin would be right- I'd never play the guitar.

No Eating Here Tonight

I'm kind of going on a diet. Not the kinda where you starve yourself, but the kind where you exercise more, sleep regularly, and eat less junk food. Maybe by August, I'll look good in a swimsuit. :P

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