Flying Cupcake xo's blog

You may think you’re better than me
Cleverer, cooler, whatever
But you’re just an ant to a dinosaur
I will crush you like you crushed my soul
You pushed me way too far this time

Every word you say penetrates me
Like a knife to the chest
You’re fucking killing me
And these demons will never rest

I will not give up on myself
Not until the day I die
And even then, I’ll carry on
Yeah, I’ll fight on
Till the day I die

Every word you say penetrates me
Like a knife to the chest
You’re fucking killing me
And these demons will never rest

And as I walk in the shadows
I feel the pain wash over me
As you laugh at my sorrow
I laugh at your need

Need for attention
Need for power
Need for affection
I can see you sinking down lower

Every word you say penetrates me
Like a knife to the chest
You’re fucking killing me
And these demons will never rest

But as I lie here alone
Lying to myself
That I’m strong, I can take it
I realize you have won all along

You think that because I’m alone
I’m lonely, depressed, in need of a friend
But that is not the case, my dear
I’m not lonely, I’m simply alone

Because I’ve found a friend
The only one I’ll ever need
I’ve found a friend in myself
True and honest I know they’ll be

You approach me
Try to be my friend
But I don’t need you
You’re just another trend
I’ll be fine just here alone
I’m fine here with my only friend

Because I’ve found a friend
The only one I’ll ever need
I’ve found a friend in myself
True and honest I know they’ll be

The things they say don’t penetrate me
‘Cause I’ve got a bulletproof vest
Try and try but you’ll never ever kill me
Douse them all you want but these demons won’t ever rest

I learned my lesson the hard way
That the ones who hurt you
Will wear the mask of kindness
Just to hurt you again

But I’ll leave all of them behind me
I don’t need them, never again
I’ll be just fine here by myself
With my one and only friend

I’m sat here alone
Drowning in my thoughts, alone
And I don’t know how I got here
I don’t know where to go
But I know one thing for sure
I just want to go home

There’s a knife to my left
And a gun to my right
And I might just take my life
Take my life away from you tonight

I’m sat here alone
Drowning in my tears, alone
And I don’t know how I got here
But I really want to go
Want to leave all this pain behind
Behind my life, I want to go

There’s a knife to my left
And a gun to my right
And I might just take my life
Take my life away from you tonight

I don’t know if you love me
Do you really care?
All you do is break me
Till I’m struggling for air
I want to love you, I want to care
But I can’t with this lack of air

There’s a knife to my left
And a gun to my right
And I might just take my life
Take my life away from you tonight

I look in the mirror
I try to smile
I try to convince myself that I’m happy
I might just be okay

Sat alone in a dark room
I feel the darkness overtake my soul
It takes over my thoughts, my emotions
Yeah it’s completely in control

And I know you’ll be sorry
The next time you mess with me
Because I’m not me, I am the darkness
Stalking the shadows of the street

I don’t feel any pain
I don’t feel any sorrow
I don’t feel any shame
I can look forward to tomorrow

With my new hands and heart
I see ultimate beauty in the darkness
The beauty you’ve been fighting for so long
But it’s welcoming me, whispering to me:
“Come with me, I’ll guide you along”

And I know you’ll be sorry
The next time you mess with me
Because I’m not me, I am the darkness
Stalking the shadows of the street

I am the terrors in the night
That make you sweat, make you cry
I am the demon in your soul
That you’ve been running from all your life

The nightmares that make you wake up screaming
The presence making you feel you’re not alright
The paranoia overtaking your mind

I've written a few songs (about 6, I think), and I'm too scared to show them to my friends or family (they probably wouldn't approve anyway), so I'm thinking I'll post them on here and then you guys can tell me what you think?

I've posted a few before, but I'll just post them all anyways.

~Flying Cupcake xo

Okay so I have a bit of a dilemma on my hands.

My parents really don't like my sister's boyfriend. They say that he's controlling and that "if he's not careful he'll get a slap."

I agree with that, because I know he does tell her "No, don't do that" or whatever, but I don't see him exactly controlling her. I would say that if he thinks that something is a bad idea, he tells her not to do it because he wants her to be safe.

Maybe I have a biased view on the whole situation because I know my sister's had a history of severe depression and suicidal thoughts, and I don't want her ever to go anywhere near back to that, I know she's really happy with her boyfriend and I'm way, way closer to her than anyone.

I don't know whether to defend my sister's boyfriend or not though, because I know they're happy together and I don't want anyone to destroy that, but like I said he does tell her not to do things or tells her to do this instead of that, but I don't see much of that.

This is just my whole attitude today. xD

~Flying Cupcake xo

This week I've decided I'll write something different on my wrist each day. Today's is "Keep Running". :3

I love you all, hope you have a fabulous day! <3

~Flying Cupcake xo

Who needs friends when you've got the internet anyways? And cyber friends. :3

~Flying Cupcake xo

BFMV are one of my favourite bands. :3 I love this song too.

~Flying Cupcake xo