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First draft of a new song: Catholic Guilt

Just finished (maybe, it's just the first draft) a song about two seconds ago. I would love it if you guys could tell me what's good, bad, or what needs to be changed. If you have any suggestions that'd be awesome :3 I don't know if it's that good. I haven't written anything in a LOOOONG time, but whatever. Here you all are:

Say hello, my Catholic guilt
You've got me on my knees.
I've been praying for a long, long time
But nothings gone right for me.
So I took matters into my own hands to run my own fucking life
Sorry, J, I'm too impatient
I'm fed up with this church's vacancy.

So sayonara, guilty conscious
I've got no use for you
If I don't fuck up, this'll be legend
Of course, no thanks to you
I've wasted most of my natural life
Waiting for a fucking miracle
So goodbye Father Whatsyourname
I'm already fucking gone.

In this town I'm known as sin
Nothing I do is right
Well if the Bible says I'm unnatural
At least I'll have something to fuel this fire tonight

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Well maybe I like the abuse, or maybe I'm just like you. (I'm Not Okay.)

It's Wednesday. One more day of school. THANK THE LORD.
I am so done with this school, this year, EVERYTHING. I have been abused, talked down to, made fun of, stressed out, pushed aside, and I have also stood up for myself, made new friends, gotten through drama, failed out of a lot of classes and then brought the grades back up again.
It's been a roller coaster of a year, and right now, 8th Grade by Pencey Prep is one of the only things keeping me grounded until this last day is finally done and OVER.
It's my birthday today. My dad's out of town, I have play practice tonight, my best friend forgot to tell me until I reminded her (well, granted, she's sick. It's not a big deal, it just was kind of funny to me).
I'm fifteen now. One more year til I'm 16. Thank. The. Lord.

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I'm just a big ball of worry right now T____T

I'm in math at the moment and we're going over what we're going to need to know for our math final, and then next class I'm presenting my Honor's Science project that IS our final. It's fifty friggen points. Me and my partner (Taylor) worked pretty damn hard on it but I'm still worried...and anxious...and scared.
I'm also worried about Tay in general. She's not getting ANY sleep and it's not healthy. You can literally die from sleep depravity.
I'm also sick.
Isn't that great? T_________T I can't stop sneezing, my throat hurts, and my eyes are swollen. I'm tired as fuck and I'm just...so done. Blergh.
I hope everyone else is having a good day.
Keep smiling.
xoxo, Mimi

Today in band, me and Taylor, the girl who I've been crushing on for the last....who knows how long, were sitting there on the floor while our band director played little snippets of arrangements for next year. At first, I was behind her, with her sitting between my legs. I was playing with her hair and just....burying my face in her neck. I was so content and it was just...amazing. Lovely. Then we switched spots, and I put my head on her lap. She just sat with me, running her hands through my hair and running her hands across my face. It was probably the most peaceful I've felt in a long, long time. Any time I'm with her...my heart just kind of....my whole composure kind of softens. It's like a kick in the chest, where all the air is sucked out of your lungs and you can't breathe and it's just so overwhelming that it feels like you just want to jump around and cry in a corner with a giant smile on your face.

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Kids Like Us Don't Get Forgiven

Fucked up kids like us, with minds filled with horrible, disturbing things and memories and knowledge that should never have to stain a child's conscious, are never forgiven.
We stick out like a sore thumb, us against the world, and if we're lucky....we're with someone else.
But even if there's someone by you, they're never REALLY with you, are they? They stay at your side and will mumble sweet words, pouring out from behind velvet lips with such earnest eyes trained on your face, how could you ever begin to doubt them? How could you ever NOT believe them? They'll whisper such sickly sweet phrases into your ears and they'll promise you that they'll be by your side forever.

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Isn't that something?

https://soundcloud.com/therealraytoro
Lord God of Heaven and Earth above.
This man is so talented, I kind of want to throw a brick out a window. I knew he could sing, little snippets of Life on the Murder Scene really showed his vocals and every single live performance, he performed back up with Frank, but JESUS. His new song, which I could consider very pop-punk/alternative, is absolutely FAN.TAST.IC.
The lyrics are really great, very easy to connect with. The guitar solo in towards the end is GREAT and just for some reason makes me really really happy.
The guitar parts in general are amazing and the bass line is fantastic. Also, the beat is really catchy and easy to hang on to.
If you haven't listened to it yet, listen to it. It's very, VERY worth listening to.

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In a really Danger Days mood today. Hm.

Just feeling very Danger Days today.
Lately I've been feeling very "Black Parade" and "Bullets" if you know what I mean, but today I'm breaking out my killjoy. I feel hyper (haha. Pun. Get it? Cause my killjoy name is Hyper-Riot....No? Okay...) and vibrant and....rebellious? Is that a good word for it? I don't know. I feel like I need to drive really really fast, or grab a can of spray paint and paint my entire fucking town. I want to blast Danger Days as loud as possible through my speakers, stick my head out a car window and scream to every conservative, dreary person that's walking through my cities streets "KEEP RUNNING, MOTHERFUCKERS."
I want to blast some dracs with a chipped, painted ray gun. I want to scream and sing at the top of my lungs so everyone can hear, so everyone can sing with me.
"Girl, you got to be what tomorrow needs."

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Oh, Turpentine, Erase Me Whole.

Just found this band called Steam Powered Giraffe. Fell in love with them. The acting in their music videos is great, every movement and expression looks EXACTLY like how a robot would act. The lyrics are beautiful, and so are their voices.
This particular song, Honeybee, really...really hits home for me.
It makes me think...well, it makes me think about Taylor, really.
We're at a weird crossroads right now, I guess is the best way to put it.
She likes Cody. I can see the way they act around each other, and...I just. I don't think I'm what she really wants. I feel like she just really says she likes me back to make sure my feelings don't get hurt....

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In my opinion, one of the best recorded concerts of My Chemical Romance

I absolutely LOVE Venganza. This performance was just...AMAZING. Everything about it seemed absolutely perfect. The energy, the quality, the crowd, the set, the outfits...everything.
I am aware that they fixed up Gerard's voice a little for the DVD, but I don't think that's a horrible thing. He still sounded FANTASTIC. The whole band did.
This performance is...I'm in math class right now. And I'm watching this instead of doing my homework. Oops xP
This concert is kind of getting me through the day today....I miss Jimbo a lot. I miss him every day, of course. But today is just....my heart is really heavy. I'm just really down today. This performance is providing me with a great distraction.
And just a random side note, is it weird that I'm a girl and I would do ANYTHING to look like Gerard?! Granted, I do dress like a boy sometimes....and I like acting like a boy, so I guess it's not that weird.
But I really, REALLY want to look like Gerard. And have his voice. A LOT.

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Why the fuck not

1.Name: Mimi
2. Age: 14, 15 next month
3. Height: 5'1"
4.Eye Color: mixes of blue and green. They change color. I also have one giant ass orange/brown spot in my left(?) eye.
5. Hair Color: Blonde
6. Bra size: ...no
7. Location: Iowa
8. Car: Nope. Can't drive, and am terrified of it anyways.
9. Willing to relocate if outside the USA: Yes.
10.Do you own a gun? Nope. Don't think I'd trust myself with one, anyway.
11. Have you ever been arrested? Nopppppe. But I've been in a jail/jail cell before (my uncle's a cop)
12. Do you play video games? Yeeep!
13. If Yes what games? Mostly old school stuff. Zelda, any Mario (Paper Mario on Nintendo 64 baby) Yoshi Story. Nothing hardcore, just good old fashioned Nintendo.
14. Are you OCD? I have some OCD qualities and tendencies, but it's not diagnosed :P
15. Have you ever left the country? Nope.
16. If so where have you been? Nowhere.
17. ( if your comfortable answering) Are you a Virgin? Yup.