TO EVERY ENEMY's blog

I'm in the process of self teaching myself guitar. It's pretty fun, getting to experiment with my two (really cheap) guitars that I own (an Ibanez Gio and old acoustic from about four years ago.) But I just need to find a way to get my feet on the ground. I really want to learn how to read tabs, and in all honesty, they're pretty damn self explanatory. But if anyone could message me that'd be great, because I do have a few questions :P So if you think you can help me out please do. I really want to learn.

I think I'm starting to cope a little bit more with the disbandment of MCR. I felt much more at peace with it when Gerard tweeted his whole story and point of view on things, and in all honesty, I think they made the right decision. If Gerard, maybe even the rest of the band, felt that they were acting on stage, like they weren't really enjoying it, that it was forced, shouldn't we want what's best for their happiness and let them go?
Obviously, though, MCR will never die. Like Gerard said: My Chemical Romance is not a band, it's an idea. It is a creation that has affected every single one of us, that has helped us through so much, that has made itself a part of our hearts and minds. Their music keeps us going, their message keeps us strong. The MCRmy is a strong community, made even stronger by the disbandment, because it gives us more of a reason to be there for each other.

"My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die. It is alive in me, in the guys, and it is alive inside all of you. I always knew that, and I think you did too. Because it is not a band - it is an idea."

My Chemical Romance will never die. Like Gerard said, it is an idea. It is a system. It is a creation that has been shared with hundreds of thousands of millions of people, and it's become a part of them in the process of discovering this creation.
This band was important to all of us. Every single one of us. Some of us were just drive by fans, where we'd listen to their music every other day, say they were pretty good, and watched a music video of theirs now and then. Others (like me) were die hards. We know every single lyric to every single song, we listen to their albums on repeat when we feel sad, we watch interviews in hope that something knew will come about or just to cheer ourselves up by watching our heroes talk about their experiences.

So at the moment I'm sitting in my room on my bed.
I finally just got a hold of myself enough to start writing this blog.
I don't really know what the fuck triggered all this shit, but just a couple of seconds/minutes ago I was curled up in a ball on this same bed sobbing uncontrollably and hyperventilating. I really, REALLY fucking wish that I was over exaggerating.
I've had panic attacks before, those are nothing new, but I've never had one this bad....
I seriously could not fucking breathe and my eyes stung and I literally, literally just wanted to die. It scared ( scares ) me.
It's not because of MCR's breakup. Well, that could've been a portion of it, but not a large one.

Well, even though I know they won't read this (because who am I kidding, there are about a thousand other posts just like this one), I wanted to say it anyway.
Thank you.
You guys have been there for me through thick and thin. You have been the sound track to my life in every tough moment, every time that I felt I should just off myself. Be done with it. Your music gave me hope. Gave me something to be happy about. Your music made me feel something when all I felt was numb.
I am extremely sad and upset that you are disbanding, but at the same time, I understand. I get it. I can't be angry at you guys, because I know that this was just as hard for you as it is for us. Probably harder, actually.
You all have families and other projects besides MCR. Other things that you want to pursue. You have lives outside of the band, and you all have the right to live them to the fullest. Do what makes you happy and love who you are. We'll always be your biggest fans, band or no band.

I'm really, REALLY hoping that this will post, and if it doesn't...then GOD DAMMIT T_____T
I've been trying to post blogs on here for the past few days, but each time it says: 503 server error. Meh.
So the things I've been trying to post about:
I'm getting a haircut soon. It's gonna be awesome. I'm cropping it really, REALLY short, and I'm getting super blonde highlights.
The band:
I tried to post this yesterday, but this is what I said.

I hear so many fans (namely girls, but if you're a guy and want this, too, that's perfectly fine :) say over and over again: I would love to date Gerard, I would love to date Frank, I would love to date Ray, I would love to date Mikey, and not that this is a problem (it can be SOMETIMES, but no usually), but I'm really wondering....

I hear so many fans (namely girls, but if you're a guy and want this, too, that's perfectly fine :) say over and over again: I would love to date Gerard, I would love to date Frank, I would love to date Ray, I would love to date Mikey, and not that this is a problem (it can be SOMETIMES, but no usually), but I'm really wondering....

I hear so many fans (namely girls, but if you're a guy and want this, too, that's perfectly fine :) say over and over again: I would love to date Gerard, I would love to date Frank, I would love to date Ray, I would love to date Mikey, and not that this is a problem (it can be SOMETIMES, but no usually), but I'm really wondering....

I really, REALLY love this song. I honestly think it's pretty damn creepy. I think it might be the fact that it's from the point of view of a homicidal teenager, but it has such a happy tune and fucking WHISTLING in the background. It gives such an inside look to the mind of the teenager who's pretty much lost their mind and is out for blood in his school, with a 'six shooter gun' riding on his hip.
The lines that absolutely shoot shivers down my spine (pretty much the whole second verse) are:
Daddy works a long day.
He be coming home late, and he's coming home late.
And he's bringing me a surprise.
'cause dinner's in the kitchen and it's packed in ice

I've waited for a long time.
Yeah the sleight of my hand is now a quick-pull trigger.
I reason with my cigarette,
Then say, "Your hair's on fire, you must have lost your wits, yeah

The reason it freaks me out so much is because it relates to me so much. It's kind of terrifying.