TO EVERY ENEMY's blog

So we had a sub in French today, and we watched Ratatouille. The cartoon movie about a rat. In English. So I decided to doodle and I did this :P Its really not good but whatever. I'm bored and at a bowling alley so xP anyway, its obviously based off the cover of the Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge cover, and its my interpretation of the girl on the cover. My version of her....whatever T____T

Today in World History I had a major freak out. I was copying the answers off my friend Noah for a packet that was really fucking stupid, and my teacher knew I was doing it but he didn't freaking care, but then he left the room to do God knows what, and in my peripheral I swear to GOD there was a fucking person in the right corner of the room. All the breath was knocked out of me and it felt like my heart stopped beating and I was freaking out, and I turned to look at the corner of the room and there was NO ONE THERE. WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!
Anyway I had a major freak out, and I closed my eyes and leaned back and tried to breathe again and all my friends were like: Are you okay? O__O And I said: I SWEAR TO GOD THERE WAS A PERSON IN THE CORNER OF THAT ROOM!
And my friend Noah just teased me and asked: Was it slender man? ;3

Number one: My paranoia has gotten ten times worse than it was. My dog needed to go outside, and I was going to take him but its SERIOUSLY FRIGGEN DARK OUTSIDE, so I got all freaked out and yelled at my little sister to come outside with me. So I hook up my dog to the leash, and open the door. The wind was strong outside, and I knew that, and it blew the door open forcibly. My heart pretty much stopped and I couldn't breathe, and I slammed the door closed and locked it again.
My little sister was like: What's wrong? and I just said: nothing... because what I had thought was that there was someone on the other side of the door wanting to murder me and or rape me.
So....that was pathetic. Also I kept thinking I was going to get in a car accident on the way home today from a friends house because it was raining....but that goes back to childhood trauma so I don't know about that... T____T

[] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex (a couple times)
[] had sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[] watched porn
[] bought porn
[] tried drugs

TOTAL SO FAR: 5

[x] taken painkillers
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] wished someone to die
[x] seen someone die

TOTAL SO FAR: 14

[x] missed curfew
[] stayed out all night
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist
[] received a ticket
[] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[] been to a club
[x] been to a bar

TOTAL SO FAR: 20

[] been to a wild party
[] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night

Okay well It's 11:28 at night here, and I haven't slept properly for about two months so I'm running off reserved energy (that could be used in a song HOLY FUCK INSPIRATION!) Anyway....when I get tired I get crazy. Just ask any of my friends, seriously. I can be trying to make a straight face to say something, and then I'll laugh hysterically on the floor for about 10 minutes for no fucking reason. So yeah....guess what I am?!?!?! (ITS NOT TIRED IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING! :DDD)
I just watched the movie Hannah...and if anyone is looking for a seriously disturbing movie, watch this one. Its fucking. Ridiculous. The ending is really fucking sick and twisted and scary as FUCK!
"I just missed your heart" BOOM! gun shot. Movie ends.
Da faq.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you're so stressed out that you want to rip your own head off? Well I got that feeling today after I got out of my music lesson because I'm going to be in this state wide honor choir, and it's next week and I have NONE of the music learned well or memorized. Also, I'm trying to balance school work and my grades so I can go to New York, I just broke up with my boyfriend and now I'm wondering if I should stay friends with the girl he cheated on me with and...blah.

HOWEVER! The awesome thing that happened today was that I was talking to my friend Cody, who had months before promised to write music for the lyrics I write because he's been playing guitar for eight years and he's friggen AMAZING, and we started talking about how we both want to do something with our lives and not stay stuck in this town forever, and we decided that we were going to try to start a band since I've already written an album!!!!!
The album is called:

That's about two albums....JESUS CHRIST O___O Well then....
Anyway what's really cool about that is that now I'm going to organize my favorite songs I've written, revise the songs, and put them into an album. Just select about ten or twelve of the songs and try to fit them in a way that they work together and aren't just a mish mash of music :) Well, here's all the titles of the songs I've written, just for fun :3

Buried Alive
But I Don't Really Mind
Decisions, Decisions
Ghost
Legion of the Hunted
Lincoln's Assassination
Paranoia of an Empire
October Breakups
Oh, Jonah, How Brave You Were
Poison Doesn't Talk Back
You Failed Your Last Second Chance
Media and it's Society
Blind
Daily Routine
Bad Memories
Only Bullets to my Name
The Fall of Man
The Logistics of Living
World Block
You and Your Teenage Lies

:DDD

Okay, Jonah is my favorite boy name and one of my favorite stories in the bible. This song is kinda religious, but more in the way that Bulletproof Heart, or Playing God, where it only mentions God fleetingly. (Bulletproof Heart: Tell the truth and God will save you) (Playing God: If God's the game that you're playing then we must get more acquainted.)
Anyway here's the song, tell me how you like it and pweeez give me feedback :3 suggestions? Ideas? Lines I should cut or change? I'M NOT THAT GOOD AT THIS GIVE ME HELP PEOPLE!

Oh Jonah
Why couldn't you listen
To simple direction
You had to have a mind of your own
How could
You even think to stand up for yourself
You're crazy and you need help
To understand how life works

The big guys always take the lead
While the little ones grovel at their feet
This world may be big but the people are small
And the strong, the popular
Are the last ones to fall
I've lost all perspective and I'm getting weak

Okay well...yeah the title explains my day pretty much. So productive T____T :( But yeah I won't talk much about my boyfriend...he didn't take it extremely well but in the beginning I was fine but by the end of the day I wanted to curl into a ball and die. Then my friend Taylor's (the girl my now ex boyfriend kissed) ex boyfriend called Taylor a lying whore and I called Cody (her ex boyfriend) an ass hole. He thought that Taylor had kissed Matthew when really it was the other way around, and the reason she lied about not liking Matthew was to protect me but yeah....then I made Cody apologize. ANYWAY! Here's the song. It's about what would happen if my (ex) boyfriend joined the army like he said he would if he left high school without anything to leave behind....so yeah this is kinda based off that. I've rambled enough HERE'S THE SOUND!

I cry wordlessly, silently
Waiting by the door
And right outside are the sounds of war
I tried to convince you
That what you did was alright

So the title pretty much explains my day. I'm still at my house about to leave for school, but I just wrote a song two seconds ago (like always) and its about how my (soon to be ex) boyfriend kissed my best friend and so now, instead of just letting that happen like he would expect me to, I'm standing up for myself and am dumping his ass. So yeah there's that, hope you like the song :P HELP ME WITH EDITS AND A TITLE AND IDEAS PLEASE!)

I know you wont believe me when I say
I thought you didn't love me anyway
But now my suspicions were confirmed
And you're one more lesson I'll never learn.
You treated me right
Forever and always
But when thinks went wrong
When they started going my way
You took a turn
And it was for the worse
And I'm surprised to feel that
It doesn't really hurt.

You could've just told me instead of lied
You could've just said it, to keep my feelings in mind
But you thought I was heartless
Well I guess I am
So I'll run, and I'll run