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EvanBlack's blog

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What the hell is even going on..

Ok... so seriously... my brain got thinking.... I am just wondering.... what is going on... now I am almost thinking perfectly clearly like I have some how tapped into control of my mind that I didn't know I had.. the alcohol even though is intoxicating it has allowed me to slow down, but for some reason with the mind I have it allows me to think clearer... almost like now I know exactly what I am trying to say... wow... nothing I have written has been spelt wrong .. except apparently that word is suppose to be spelled wrong lol... but its I just look at it and its like yeah.. it is spelled

I'm drunk lol

Probably not the best image but you know what I need this.. I hate drinking, I hate alcohol but sometimes... sometimes you just need to drink... So if anyone think I am a pussy or something for crying.. Fuck you.. Real men know when they are beat and know when to retreat but I a trying my best to live in a world that I can't seem to figure out. I don't even know what it even means to be a real man what the helll is that anyway..


I cried...

.... today.... today I cried because I just can't take it. Everything doesn't make sense why am I so lost in a world were everyone can find themselves... When is my life going to get better? When am I going to be happy?

I honestly think I should give up on happiness... I can't feel it so maybe I should give up and accept that I won't ever get over this. Maybe I should just try to find away to continue on...

I wish I had fans... I wish I was a great musician... I wish I could be me... I wish life would be kinder to me and give me the skills I need to reach the rest of the world...

My heart may

So long and goodnight....

... How I wish I could say those words to this life in which I live. I wish there was some way I could just be happy. I wish I knew what other people felt. I wish there was just some reason for me.

Depression.. so the only way I am suppose to get over this is with drugs? Why do I have to do drugs? I don't want to do drugs, I don't want medicine. I don't need my mood altered. I need my life altered. I need to be in a place where when I go outside and if I was laying in the street someone would come by and ask if I need help rather than look at me like a waste of life.

I hate when these people

Cucumber or Freedom?

This topic on yahoo answers is crazy. Its about a cucumber but then the answer is about freedom... Have a look. Very matrixy...

From the ashes of an old empire. . .

...a new empire is born.

But didn't they think that maybe this wasn't the best location for a new empire.. I mean after all... the last one that was here... I don't think it turned out so well...

If you thought for one moment...

...about everything that goes on in this world we would see that we are the problem and the solution. We are human. We can do anything yet we choose to do the least.

Murder, theft, crime in general, all bad things we know about.

But what about the crimes that don't get attention.. the ones that go on EVERYDAY behind closed doors, no one knows because of so much fear from every direction. No one has anyone to save them but themself. Everyone believes something different. This just doesn't make sense..

If 1 + 1 = 2 to me, and 1 + 1 = 2 to you then we will be friends because we see the same

I don't get it

I am just trying to get it. It just doesn't make sense. I can't figure it out whats going on. Everything is so messed up. Living life to me is so strange. I wish I was a rock instead of a person. I wish I didn't have to think or talk. I don't even know what I want because I want nothing at all.


Give away all my stuff I worked for. I could do it. But then I would just need to get more stuff because I'd be bored or I wouldn't be productive.

I think being productive is my most important goal but why is it that I can be more productive in

So much pain and hate and torture..

I understand that their are two sides to this coin but why can't we just live happily with each other. I try to understand it all and I feel like I am part of the reason itself.

But when I look at it all again, I see that I can be something so much greater. I want to be one of the people who can help others through the dark times. I want to spread inspiration to live free and peacefully but also be honest about it all. No one really knows whats going on why try to hide it.

Why are we walking around in life acting like we know why everything happens but we only do as we are told and walk

My weekend is ending

While many of you will be heading back to school.. I wish I could too. I will be returning to my job. Constantly the same thing. Problems that I can solve but don't have answers to. But I am only fixing problems the people could have fixed themselves if they just took a small amount of time to look it over.

We are so confused by speed that we think everything must be just as fast because everyday we are losing time quickly and we just can't stop and smell the roses... the roses have all died.

I can only find peace in my sleep, even though often my dreams can be worse than reality at least