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When the fake smile vanishes

I just need to write this down somewhere but no one is forced to read because it will probably be boring (just warning).

1...I've always supported my friends when they have had a hard time. Have they ever done the same with me? NEVER. I'm tired of having to wipe their tears every single time and when it's me who is living in hell I find myself alone. Then one day they ask me if I am ok.

Worried

I have the strange feeling that something painful (for me) is about to happen... Id like to think Im just a bit paranoid about it but... Ive never been wrong... And I dont know what to do

Too. much. homework.

And god that's soooo boring *faints*

Disappointed.

I hate being hurt but apparently it's what always happens to me. what a nice life. is it that difficult to be honest??

Bored.

î î î

Not the best day.

I feel empty, alone and I don't even know what I am doing :(
I feel that something bad is about to happen...

Gray day.

It's raining a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT!!! That's not possible! And the day is awful... it's sad and I'm bored and I 'm tired of the F homework.

What do u think.

This is stupid but I'm really tired of a friend for whom I've always been there, help her through hard times, and never NEVER had someting in return. I mean, I'd do anything for my friends but they normally appreciate it. But she acts like if it was me, MEE, who had to be glad of being her friend... She never tried to understand me, not even got a hug when I most needed or an "everything will be okay". And it was me who always stood up for her when the others had left her alone. And she knows it. And she also knows I always pick up people who are rejected or whatever and that I will always accept them. She only seems to focus on herself (I do it too but it's not always me !!!). We always have to do what she wants, if someone has a different opinion, we can't share it or even think about it. I feel that she's "stealing" somehow my best friend... and it's all like aaghh :(

What do u think.

This is stupid but I'm really tired of a friend for whom I've always been there, help her through hard times, and never NEVER had someting in return. I mean, I'd do anything for my friends but they normally appreciate it. But she acts like if it was me, MEE, who had to be glad of being her friend... She never tried to understand me, not even got a hug when I most needed or an "everything will be okay". And it was me who always stood up for her when the others had left her alone. And she knows it. And she also knows I always pick up people who are rejected or whatever and that I will always accept them. She only seems to focus on herself (I do it too but it's not always me !!!). We always have to do what she wants, if someone has a different opinion, we can't share it or even think about it. I feel that she's "stealing" somehow my best friend... and it's all like aaghh :(

So sleepy.

I am falling asleep literally on my homework. The weather is awful and it doesn't help. I'm scared coz I think I'm falling for a guy and that's not good. Not now at least. I'm such a disaster. I NEED FRESH AIR OMG!!!! *start acting crazy*

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