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UNMARRIED, hurts me like HELL :(

Hey you guys.... Killjoys or MCRmy.... I like you all... I'm just wondering.... What you guys do when your boyfriend said he doesn't wanna marry? seems forever he said. :( is that a sign that he wants to break up? Another time he said he might change his mind. Well that's really sadistic. I know we're just graduated from highschool, and still too juvenile to think bout the ending, happy or sad. I never expect to marry him or anything but... I mean.... He's that easy saying "I'm gonna leave you, because I don't wanna marry.

MY (complicated) LIFE

Everything just goes wrong. School, family, dreams, they're all just not okay! I'm ashamed of my life everytime people ask about it, especially 'bout my family. I'd only like to talk about me, my mom, and dad when i was kid. i really miss my childhood where i could feel the warmth of the real family. I hate being alone, that's more painful than just being annoyed. I hate being left, whatever the reason is, because it makes me feel i am not wanted. so just ask me to leave, i'll leave.


have you ever missed someone so bad till you cant put him/her away from your mind?! haven't been texting or calling or chatting for about 3 days. Thats annoying :( . I think he's uncomfortable with our relationship, kinda bored, but he just never tell. I've been reading all his past texts over and over again (till i can remember most of 'em) just because i miss him, really! I guess that's all i can do now. hey Jawa, i miss you!! :*


what you guys do when you think your boyfriend is bored with the relationship. well he's not straightly said it, but you know you can feel it. ohmygod, I should have known he deserve a much better, much more interesting, more cheerful girl. not like me, a gloomy-ridiculous-fat girl.

I've been dreaming of...

so umm... I've been dreaming of a relationship where we talk like best friends, play like kids, and protect each other like siblings. i guess that would be cool! haha :D what do you think?! :)

Dont read this, this is silly! hhaha :D

Feels like i wanna scream and shout to the boy i like:
"I'm so in love that I act insane, and that's the way I love you!"
just to let him know i really like him. but i bet he's not gonna know it. :(

ParanoiaDestroya is shinning off


Hey guys! Have you ever felt like you’re forced to do something you don’t like? And you have no other choices?! I’m stuck in that situation now. I was planning to go to a medical school in one of best public universities here, Airlangga University. That would be very hard, I know. That university is exactly what I’ve been dreaming of since I sat in junior highschool, the reason why I keep reading book till now. That’s just all what I want, no other university. However, as everyone knows know, I am not accepted in that school. So I have to go to a private one, which I don’t really like.

I stole

B - BIRTHDAY: May 31st 1994
C - CRUSHING ON: jawa :P
F - FAVORITE SONG: Summertime!! MCR
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: yakks.. I choose the "OR" :D
H - HOMETOWN: Pasuruan - Indonesia. so damn HOT!
I - IN LOVE WITH: anything white! white lily is a nice example though.
J - JUGGLE: HAHAHA. :D whatever!
K - KILLED SOMEONE: no! thats beyond me.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: 9 boring hours, from Pasuruan to Semarang. -___-
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Blueberry with vanilla ice cream :P I want it now!!!

Random questions :)

-Full Name: Atika Rosada
-Last Person I texted: my dad
-Who I Tell Everything To: Jawahirul
-Nickname: Tika
-Who I Miss: My mom
-Favorite Color: White and Silver
-Biggest Fear: Darkness
-Confession: I like My Chemical Romance the most!! I like Taylor Swift too, though. LOL :D
-Relationship Status: Single
-the Person i Trust: Jawahirul
-Fav. Song: Summertime, Famous Last Word, The Only Hope For Me is You!!
-What i Hate: Spider
-Crush: -_____-"
-Favorite animal: well i guess.. rabbit
-Birthday: May 31st
-Girl Bestfriend: Luccy!
-Boy Bestfriend: still, Jawahirul :)


I sent the first one. then i found the second one, his reply, on my laptop few minutes later!